With how things are these days, I get limited help on things that would've normally been possible. My own parents feel more unreliable than ever as they didn't get the new tires they promised me before winter hits, they didn't pay for my class at college this semester, and they're arguing more than I'd like. Now with me getting roped into stuff that I dislike. Chuck has done it twice this year, if memory serves me well, where he argues with me for something minor. The man hardly cares about me at all. So...with how stuff is living here, I think I need to start accepting any help I get from everyone.

For a long time, I've been reluctant to accept the comfort of others like I did in the past before as stuff has been getting to me more easily nowadays. I think it may not help as much as actually doing something for me, but now I believe it's just the kid in me wanting something to cope with. I got greedy with my money and spent well over 7 grand this year that I should've saved. I spent my money on stuff that only brought me short happiness. What I need is any support I can get. Emotional support, financial support, anything. I have to stop being so meek to accepting emotional support and take it. Without any of my FA watchers, Twitter followers, and Discord friends that I do know and talk to...I really wouldn't be here right now. They're a source for me to vent to when I need it, virtual hugs I need to accept more. I'd want a physical hug, but it just doesn't jive with me well that my mom hugs me more than usual. It's weird to say, I know, but I haven't felt the same about mom for a good while. She EASILY gets upset and I think it's affected me on how often I get upset. Living with people for so long takes a toll on you, let that be a lesson to anyone living with people.

Sorry for rambling a bit. I'm just thinking about stuff and realizing things about myself that's flawed or that I break to too often. Or bad habits like making these negative journals, but they're my best outlet of venting and informing everyone. So many people ask me what bothers me and I often explain it to them...and then to the next person. It piles up how often I have to re-explain myself to others. So...I think if I got something to blow up over, it'll be on my server in the vent chat. I want to see into doing less negative journals and do more topical journals. Actually talk about what I'm into and other things. I have all these ideas in my head and...I want others to read into them. See if it gets them interested. I want to be interesting to you guys rather be another random individual on the internet. It's what I hope to do, at least. That and get my mind onto better things.

I know the ones who talk to me will support me when I say that I'll be getting ready to make a move on stuff. It's sudden how I change my attitude from a couple days ago, but that's another thing I realize: Long as nothing bad happens, I begin to rebound faster than I thought. I'll need to remember this if I want to be less negative to you all. Cause I hate to drive away the friends that I have available to chat with online. So until whatever else I do, thanks for reading.