It's funny how just ten years ago I was a very different person with very different morals. I had grown into the fandom with many people, but also grew apart from them, had disagreements or just flat out just couldn't stand how much they stopped caring about me. Which is funny because now i'm more of the type to just stop caring about people when they give me a reason to not wanna care. However I do know who I was back then, the things I did and said, relationships I torn apart and the people who tore me apart in turn, making me who I am today... HOWEVER...

There are a few out there, no names will be said just to avoid possible drama.. I guess, even though I don't care about drama or what people actually fucking thing of me, but a few.. Very very select few i've always wanted to apologize to. I know they will most likely never see this or if they do realize it is them I am talking about, but I am sorry.. I am sorry I couldn't have been a better person, I am sorry it took me this long to grow up enough to just suck it up and let things be instead of dragging them out and i'm sorry the few times that I did play victim..

Keep in mind this apology does NOT apply to a few others.. THREE people to be specific and you know who you fucking are.. The two who I know are incredibly active both here and twitter know who they are, one starts with a D the other with an S. You both will still never ever hear me apologize for the way you made me feel and will never forgive you for the things you have done to me. You are both terrible fucking people who live to hear people tell you exactly what you WANT to hear and anything else is just people starting drama, living in the light of the sorrowful "Victim" mentality, refusing to just outright admit that "Yes, I am fucking trash and I am sorry" and instead of trying to be more humble and modest you instead leech off the "Positive" feed back of your many ignorant followers, partners, etc.

Pathetic

I'd like to add that where I am sorry, I have no interest in rekindling any friendships. Wanting to apologize, wanting to express that one has made faults does not mean there is room for friendship. Sometimes it is better to just smile, understand one another and go ones seperate ways.. Would it be nice to try? Maybe.. But I am positive it would just cause more problems.. Which sucks, cause sometimes I really miss some of you. I miss talking and goofing around, but that isn't how life always works. We can't make friends with everyone. But we can agree that we grew to be incompatible and that is fine and to just move on with our lives, in passing giving each other a smile, but overall living our lives the best way we can.

Lastly i'd like to say.. Thank you to what few old friends I have who have stuck by me through my growing process, granted I am far from actually being worthy of these people, but I also wouldn't have exactly made it this far without you.. Thank you.. I know it hasn't been easy, I know I caused lots of problems, have bared teeth at even you all, the people I care about.. But you stayed.. I don't deserve it, I never will, but I still thank you for everything you have done. This also applies to new friends too. I tell you day one the type of person I am deep down, the animosity I have towards people and this fucking GOD awful fandom, yet you still stayed around and supported me in my need for change.