falling down on a trampoline and not being able to get back up because everyone else keeps jumping was absolutely right and I hate it.

Two family friends have passed away this year. (not due to covid)
My grandpa has come down with some sort of bone cancer.
Two of my cats died.
My mom got fired over bullshit and I'm not saying that to be biased its bullshit no matter which way you look at it. Oh yeah and she got fired two fucking weeks before Christmas.
And now the upstairs toilet is fucking leaking from the tank and we don't fucking have the money to fix it and I just kinda want to tear my guts out because at this point this seems like the only thing I can do to appease whatever fucking deity or WHATEVER that is just fucking ruining everything.

Honestly that last gripe is probably the most fixable thing atm. But it just. Having the ceiling leak just kinda...ties this whole year together.

Sorry I just need to vent.

Oh. I guess also two of my tvs got broken this year. Because they fell off the mount. Two different mount things.
And Vader knocked over my monitor on my dekstop and there is a fucking crack in the lcd thingy part of the screen. Its hardly noticeable until it isn't and its annoying. And my phone broke.

And I don't have any means of going to the dentist like I had planned to do before the end of the year because the card I was going to put that visit on got eaten up by vet bills.

I just. Want to be fucking happy man. I know people are in far worst situations than I am but like...it just feels like a lot.