Due to lack of interest, I have decided to retire from commissions indefinitely.

I don't want to do this anymore, even with my own art, I have to really motivate myself to pick up my pencil & sadly, that motivation just isn't there anymore.

I'm sorry to anybody who wanted a commission off me but it's really difficult for me to make any kind of art knowing that the support & audience just isn't there. To be honest, I'm beginning to feel like an outsider in the fandom now. It's an American fandom for dog-type sonas with no place for individuals who want to express themselves, their interests or even what makes them happy.

My Somerville chapters is a prime example, started out as some art for pride month, using songs from Jimmy Somerville's career in Bronski Beat, Communards & would of gone on to his solo career to express that being gay or a part of the LGBTQ+ spectrum isn't all rainbows & flamboyance but also there are a wealth of lonely, oppressed individuals who need to be heard & understood but of course, that fell on deaf ears.

It also doesn't help that recently, I have been dragged into some Twitter drama & I'd rather not go too in-depth with what happened but long & short, a photo taken from a weekend with friends was used to support the viewpoint of a bigoted individual, an individual who I considered a friend beforehand but it turned out not to be the case. The whole ordeal turned a great weekend with friends where we put our differences at the door & just enjoyed ourselves to a sorry affair that soiled that great weekend, one that we sorely needed given the state of 2020.

I'm still single & alone & likely to remain for many years to come, again stemming from this fandom where sex & kinks are the sole motivations for relationships now. Not forgetting the minefield of the dating scene where it's not as simple as looking for a man anymore but understanding each sexuality & gender which I don't have a problem with (everybody deserves to be who they want or feel they should be) but it's difficult for myself, a gay man to find another gay man, when there are so many areas in between & understanding what those areas are is giving me severe brain ache. Even a friend who I've spend a couple of nights with told me that they were now demisexual & needed to know me better despite us being friends for two years. Where-as I respect their wishes, I can't help but feel a little hurt.

I'm lonely, demotivated, hurt & saddened by this fandom. Even disappointed in my local furry group (of which I helped in founding) in that even through Covid, they still didn't want to talk to eachother when other groups were holding virtual meets on Discord, my local friends were only content in sending the occasional message on Telegram. It disappoints me to know that I'm associated in a town-wide group of furries who just couldn't bring themselves to ask eachother if they're okay during this most difficult of years.

Am I leaving the Fandom? No, absolutely not. Am I quitting making art forever? Not at all. 2021 is going to be a better year & I still have projects in my line of sight including a Railfurs Youtube channel which I hope will become a modest success in the coming year.

Despite all the things that's made me feel disconnected from the community, I still intend to take part in it, even if I don't get the support, even if I'm forced to be single for the rest of my life, even if I get dragged into Furry Twitter drama because as far as I can see it, I'm not some yankie-doodle popufur with a copy/paste sona, I'm better than that & I'm not going to start letting the buggers grind me down.