The joker once said all it takes is one really bad day for someone to truly snap. While I have yet to experience that bad of a day I did experience that bad of a year last year and as bad as 2020 got I always doubted it could’ve been as horrible as last year in which I struggled with suicide not just for the very first time but five times in a row.

Until now.

It’s no secrete I have been slowly loosing myself these past months with my job demanding too much from me Haveing me work 6am to 6pm or 6pm to 6am non stop even on weekdays. Family getting angry when ever I take off even for medical reasons my friends and family playing tug of war with me as the rope on trying to get me to decide which side I want for in anything political and such.

All the while ulcerative colitis combined with asthma, severe depression, severe anxiety, severe paranoia, with small traces of PTSD mixed in between and Asperger’s syndrome and ADD not helping any. Along with the place I live telling me I’m suppose to worship football and sports and mechanics and stuff and anytime I would mention any of the things I did enjoy they would look at me like I’m some kind of freak.

The only thing that ever did keep me sane from it all was mostly a combination of my faith and my life’s work. And now, I don’t see much of a point anymore when everything I ever do always pisses the world off or worst. And all my sacrifices and all my pain and suffering and all my reasons to live always be for nothing.

So it is with a deep heavy heart and true sadness to say this.

I quit.

I cannot stay here anymore i cannot do what I used to anymore. In the years I have been here all I’ve ever done is pissed the entire world off and now my life work the only thing that has kept me going for so long can no longer prosper as I dream it would as long as I’m here.

So I have decided to give full rights ownership and control of it to my co creator who never wanted to be known until now and only started a channel of his own here. He may not lost them ubti he knows they are ready but with my permission now has full custody of them and will do much greater good with them then I ever will or could. I guess this has been a long time comeing with how I was born pitiful I have always been pitiful since that day and will die pitiful with no one to mourn for me when I’m gone. I do not plan to commit suicide if this is what this sounds but I will no longer be on this website anymore and within sometime next year I will delete it for good.

I’m sorry to all who watch me that you had to read this. I’m sorry to all I have offended even the slightest over the years. I’m sorry for everything.