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5 years ago
General
G'DAY MATES!
So...
My plans for portland got a little shotty.
I went up thinking I HAD a plan to move and continue onward. Yet I found out in a few days that I basically had NOTHING actually planned out. And after talking with family, friends, and guidance counselors, they all said the exact same thing.
"YOU NEED TO SLOW DOWN."
Not to mention that I went up RIGHT when another COVID spike hit portland HARD and shut nearly EVERYTHING down again. My plans were to scout out the city, check out a college, and possibly land a spot with someone so I can attend college. But right when I go up, the schools shut back down. I was told that some colleges had in class open classes because learning online is something I CAN NOT do. But the 2nd spike closed the door that I wanted. So then I just ended up staying with my uncle for a bit to see if I could bunk with him. But turned out he lived in a VERY sketchy neighborhood and has been robbed a few times. Not only that, but he smokes a LOT and it burns my lungs. So I left his house and went to visit my other uncle who fucking lord and behold lived in ANOTHER shitty neighborhood and was a medicinal weed farmer. And weed has a smell that just makes me nauseous. SO I left that too and went to stay in a hostel for a week and a half.
I mean, I'll admit that I cried for a bit because It hit me that I didnt have a plan. The pace of making this "decision" was too fast and I wasnt doing things step by step. My brain just said, "You need to go to portland NOW! Get a house to stay in, go to college FULL time, get a job to pay off rent and school, and get into a relationship." And I ended up running into a brick wall and getting homesick. All in the first 5 days... And I planned to be in portland for 2 weeks.
At the same time, I did say that nothing was FULLY set in stone and that it was a SOON possibility. As I had a sneaking suspicion that things may go south. And I mean... I'm only 23, so I still have time to figure things out and move on
But it just makes me frustrated that I cant think of a well thought out plan without holding hands with someone because of some things that I just cannot do. And I know it's getting on the nerves of some people that I say one thing, then something completely different happens and.... *sigh* I'm sorry if I let people down... But its not a road block... It's just a checkpoint. I'm still planning on going to college but... It may be best to go once the virus is officially said and done, which seems to be soon. So... Until then, I guess it's back to the animating and drawing board. I'm sorry if I made anyone upset from this but... Things just happen at unfortunate times sometimes. I'm still learning a lot.... But I'm not giving up.
My plans for portland got a little shotty.
I went up thinking I HAD a plan to move and continue onward. Yet I found out in a few days that I basically had NOTHING actually planned out. And after talking with family, friends, and guidance counselors, they all said the exact same thing.
"YOU NEED TO SLOW DOWN."
Not to mention that I went up RIGHT when another COVID spike hit portland HARD and shut nearly EVERYTHING down again. My plans were to scout out the city, check out a college, and possibly land a spot with someone so I can attend college. But right when I go up, the schools shut back down. I was told that some colleges had in class open classes because learning online is something I CAN NOT do. But the 2nd spike closed the door that I wanted. So then I just ended up staying with my uncle for a bit to see if I could bunk with him. But turned out he lived in a VERY sketchy neighborhood and has been robbed a few times. Not only that, but he smokes a LOT and it burns my lungs. So I left his house and went to visit my other uncle who fucking lord and behold lived in ANOTHER shitty neighborhood and was a medicinal weed farmer. And weed has a smell that just makes me nauseous. SO I left that too and went to stay in a hostel for a week and a half.
I mean, I'll admit that I cried for a bit because It hit me that I didnt have a plan. The pace of making this "decision" was too fast and I wasnt doing things step by step. My brain just said, "You need to go to portland NOW! Get a house to stay in, go to college FULL time, get a job to pay off rent and school, and get into a relationship." And I ended up running into a brick wall and getting homesick. All in the first 5 days... And I planned to be in portland for 2 weeks.
At the same time, I did say that nothing was FULLY set in stone and that it was a SOON possibility. As I had a sneaking suspicion that things may go south. And I mean... I'm only 23, so I still have time to figure things out and move on
But it just makes me frustrated that I cant think of a well thought out plan without holding hands with someone because of some things that I just cannot do. And I know it's getting on the nerves of some people that I say one thing, then something completely different happens and.... *sigh* I'm sorry if I let people down... But its not a road block... It's just a checkpoint. I'm still planning on going to college but... It may be best to go once the virus is officially said and done, which seems to be soon. So... Until then, I guess it's back to the animating and drawing board. I'm sorry if I made anyone upset from this but... Things just happen at unfortunate times sometimes. I'm still learning a lot.... But I'm not giving up.
Life is but a continuous series of mistakes that grow arms and legs. You’ve made those mistakes, but unlike some people who throw in the towel, you don’t give up and learn from your mistakes.
Even if it means nothing, admitting to having made mistakes wins you a lot of respect in my book. Keep at it (progressing, making mistakes, learning!) and you’ll achieve your dreams!
That’s my motto mate
Eagerness is something that blinds us all, and you've learned from this experience
A piece of friendly advice forget Portland. I know I'm some random person but Portland is a mess in fact most major cities are. Smaller cities are booming right now because of low infection rates and next to no riots and low crime.
On top of that cost of living is always cheaper in small cities vs any major city. I personally live not far from Houston, Tx. A fun place to play but wouldn't live there and that's one of the better major cities yet it still has crime and higher cost of living vs the town I live in.
Maybe try Idaho if you can, I have a friend who lives there and lives it.
Regardless good luck.