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Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
5 years ago
Time May Change Me
I decided to be a gnoll a couple years ago after reading a book called The Gnoll Credo. While reading the book it got me thinking about a lot of things, led me to improve myself, go back to school, take better care of myself, and I don't want it to turn into rhetoric for me. That's why gnolls have held a special place in my heart ever since. I like to think now that I have this ref from
Necrodrone13 it's all official. Hopefully in another year or so when I finish college and manage to get some disposable income I'll get to see some more of this gooey gnoll boi. Heck, I even get told I have a perfect hyena giggle, so maybe it's a fitting change?
I'm thinking about reading that book again too soon then maybe afterwards I'll write my thoughts about it down here. It's not exactly a subtle attack on modern living and eating habits of humanity. I remember there was some I couldn't quite agree with but it did get me thinking about who I am.
Turn and face the strange
Lately I've been feeling kind of weird. I hang out with friends in a small private discord, and it's like this small comfortable bubble. It's a bubble that's nice to have, to escape to for chill, but it also has started to feel stagnant. And even there, in that comfortable little bubble there are still parts of me I can't comfortably express, or just don't know how. I would love to be able to find other circles to mingle with, meet new people, get to know them their quirks and ideas. It would be nice to get somewhere else rather than listen to the same old day after day.
There is also a part of me that wants to be directed, to be submissive. Not even sexual thing, just small daily things. I want to be able to please someone. part of me that wants to be criticized, pushed, told what to do. I have no idea how to scratch that particular itch. I'm not sure if it's something I can really find in my little bubble. Worst of all is that without trust, someone doing that just makes me not want to be around them. just makes it harder finding someone that I can share that sort of feeling with.
I don't know. random rambling.
Hope you have a great day <3
I decided to be a gnoll a couple years ago after reading a book called The Gnoll Credo. While reading the book it got me thinking about a lot of things, led me to improve myself, go back to school, take better care of myself, and I don't want it to turn into rhetoric for me. That's why gnolls have held a special place in my heart ever since. I like to think now that I have this ref from
Necrodrone13 it's all official. Hopefully in another year or so when I finish college and manage to get some disposable income I'll get to see some more of this gooey gnoll boi. Heck, I even get told I have a perfect hyena giggle, so maybe it's a fitting change?I'm thinking about reading that book again too soon then maybe afterwards I'll write my thoughts about it down here. It's not exactly a subtle attack on modern living and eating habits of humanity. I remember there was some I couldn't quite agree with but it did get me thinking about who I am.
Turn and face the strange
Lately I've been feeling kind of weird. I hang out with friends in a small private discord, and it's like this small comfortable bubble. It's a bubble that's nice to have, to escape to for chill, but it also has started to feel stagnant. And even there, in that comfortable little bubble there are still parts of me I can't comfortably express, or just don't know how. I would love to be able to find other circles to mingle with, meet new people, get to know them their quirks and ideas. It would be nice to get somewhere else rather than listen to the same old day after day.
There is also a part of me that wants to be directed, to be submissive. Not even sexual thing, just small daily things. I want to be able to please someone. part of me that wants to be criticized, pushed, told what to do. I have no idea how to scratch that particular itch. I'm not sure if it's something I can really find in my little bubble. Worst of all is that without trust, someone doing that just makes me not want to be around them. just makes it harder finding someone that I can share that sort of feeling with.
I don't know. random rambling.
Hope you have a great day <3
Funny enough, the thing that got me comfortable getting out of that bubble was making a couple burner accounts, and starting over completely fresh. I could act however I wanted without worrying how people thought about me, or whether they were judging me, because hey, what's the worst thing that could happen? They hate me? Then I could just abandon the new name/persona/account, what have you. When I found a group I really liked talking to and could feel comfortable being myself with, I brought back my 'main' one, and hung out with them as Eonis.
For realsies though, if you'd like to chat, lemme know! I'd be happy to toss you my Discord/invite you to the servers I hang out in.
Not sure how I feel about doing the whole burner account thing, but I suppose it couldn't really hurt to try some time. Whether I do or not would be nice to find some other servers, see how I get along with them. If you'd still like to chat, maybe note me with your discord ID? or note me and I'll send you mine, whichever way you'd prefer.