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It had to be rice!
16 years ago
So here I was, watching TV about ghosts in Chernobyl and eating cup after cup of steamed white rice slathered in an inch of soy sauce. Debating whether or not I should cry because I learned about salamanders that are destined to be cannibals to survive when I realize this: I've become disillusioned with politics.
Of course, by that point, I was shaken free from my existential crisis before it happened by the Manami of the future. She told me not to dwell on it too much and cook the last bit of rice. She informed me her greatest regret in life was not cooking that last bit of rice.
Turns out that, had the timeline stayed the same; rice would increase in value as a commodity as I refused to eat that last little bit. Someone would spot the uncooked rice and quit eating rice as well. Soon enough, an entire region's not eating rice.
Without the rice export to fund their well oiled machines, the rice farmers of the world would strike back by feeding dogs tainted meat that turned them into sentient robots. Don't ask me how, it just creeps me out. They'd become our overlords and we'd enter a "Planet of the Apes" situation by 2001. Of course, we'd fight back with our hovercrafts and Marty McFlys. But it'd be useless! The canine robot overlords would quell all revolts and begin to slowly open a rift into the space time continuum.
At that point, Theodore Roosevelt, Thomas Nast, the guy who invented Dr. Pepper (NOT Dr. Pepper), Cesar, Henry VIII and Vin Diesel would storm out through the rift and get deadlocked in the most ultimate war for the survival of the universe.
During that war, Roosevelt would build a time machine out of tariffs, ingenuity and that one thing out of your nightmares and the future Manami would offer to go back in time to save the universe by telling me to eat that rice!
...It's kinda crazy how things like that happen only after a night of binge drinking and a trip to the hospital. Oh well, at least I have saved the universe!
Of course, by that point, I was shaken free from my existential crisis before it happened by the Manami of the future. She told me not to dwell on it too much and cook the last bit of rice. She informed me her greatest regret in life was not cooking that last bit of rice.
Turns out that, had the timeline stayed the same; rice would increase in value as a commodity as I refused to eat that last little bit. Someone would spot the uncooked rice and quit eating rice as well. Soon enough, an entire region's not eating rice.
Without the rice export to fund their well oiled machines, the rice farmers of the world would strike back by feeding dogs tainted meat that turned them into sentient robots. Don't ask me how, it just creeps me out. They'd become our overlords and we'd enter a "Planet of the Apes" situation by 2001. Of course, we'd fight back with our hovercrafts and Marty McFlys. But it'd be useless! The canine robot overlords would quell all revolts and begin to slowly open a rift into the space time continuum.
At that point, Theodore Roosevelt, Thomas Nast, the guy who invented Dr. Pepper (NOT Dr. Pepper), Cesar, Henry VIII and Vin Diesel would storm out through the rift and get deadlocked in the most ultimate war for the survival of the universe.
During that war, Roosevelt would build a time machine out of tariffs, ingenuity and that one thing out of your nightmares and the future Manami would offer to go back in time to save the universe by telling me to eat that rice!
...It's kinda crazy how things like that happen only after a night of binge drinking and a trip to the hospital. Oh well, at least I have saved the universe!
I wanna know what on EARTH goes on in your head |3 This is awsome
Rice... It is evil, is it not?