Things have felt like a mess, I won't lie. My mood has been shifting a lot due to events going back and forth with me. January is NOT the month for me to be so happy, apparently. And we're mere days away from it being the halfway point.

Now, I can probably understand many people are tired of my negative posts. I don't blame anyone that thinks that. Even I'm getting sick and tired of posting negative stuff. I am doing what I can to post some happier stuff on Twitter and my Discord server, but it's tough for me to handle. I think I just...hardly have a will to really do as much as I wanted to. Especially when I got a step father and biological mom that don't give enough emotional support. Plenty to financial, but I hardly sense the love. And to be honest, it's been a big issue of people not getting close enough to others as I often like to think.

It's weird, really. Some people make friends so easily while I struggle to maintain a lot of relationships because I haven't a clue what to do. And that's the straight truth: I don't know what to do. Except to just...do whatever comes to mind and whatever will I still have to push on. Stuff is wearing down on me, but I'm still here. Still alive despite health issues being apparent more than ever. So...why am I writing this? I guess just to get that out there. I'm honestly done with posting lengthy things about the shit that often blows up in my life here at home or elsewhere. I think it's taxing enough to many people as is. So...maybe this will be a change. One where people don't need to read stuff that's so negative. Because lets be fair, I think we all had enough negativity of others. All I ask is for everyone to pray for me this year because I feel like it'll be rough as hell on my ass like last year was.

That being said, I'll be doing no negative journals on here for either never again or just for a long time. As in months from now, depending on how severe it gets. So that's it. Good night from my end.