please save any art you've commissioned as soon as you can, I can't guarantee this account is going to stay up.

I'm sorry for my shitty behavior from 2016-2019, I'm going to go over it here. my memory is fuzzy but I'm going to retell what happened

in middle school I found a love and passion for history and made uwu cutesy furry versions of ww2 leaders on tumblr and deviantart. it wasn't a good way to express it (making animal versions of historical figures like this is pretty bizarre and insensitive) and in all sincerity I wish I had kept those drawings private, because they brought in a group of admitted natsocs and nazi sympathizers that were enjoying my art. I drew about every nation involved in the war, giving both axis and allied leaders their own weird fursona so I can gush about this time era, but they did not care less about any of that, they just wanted me to cater to their nazi fetish. I wasn't experienced enough to see through this and I kept interacting with this group, they acted like friendly and approachable people that defended me whenever I was rightfully called out for my dumb shit. eventually I completely lost interest and felt fatigue, and now those accounts are long deleted. unfortunately I wasn't out of the equation because I still supported the anti-sjw community of cartoon reviewers, commentary channels and truscum otherkin/mogai "cringe blogs". this kept my self-loathing chud phase going, which only worsened and continued to harm me and my friends. at this point I was just having public freakouts and picking fights with anyone that disagreed with me.

sometime at the beginning of 2020, I got the fatigue again, and with the virus and isolation happening, I distanced myself from social media to take a breather, and socialize with irl friends again. they reached out to me to slap some sense into me, they were worried about my behavior. I took some self-reflection I needed then looked back at the situation, and finally realized what was happening.
after years of mindlessly absorbing "cool anti-sjw" mentality, nationalist, homophobic, racist, transmed rhetoric and the like I regret it completely. ever since I stopped listening to the content creators that stood by those things, realize their true colors and stayed away from them, I've been a lot happier and learned to love myself. I wish it could have happened sooner, but my head's finally out of my ass. I'm standing on my own feet nowadays and know better.

this was more minor in comparison but I also tried to bash people for liking the "calarts" artstyle, harmless fetishes, "mary sues", overrated pokemon and common species in furry art like wolves and dragons. it was incredibly toxic and uncalled for, I don't remember every time I did this, but overall I was an elitist, spiteful dickhead to others and threw tantrums over nothing. I'm also done with using slurs I can't reclaim, even as a "joke", including rhetoric I now understand are dogwhistles ("it's okay to be white", "all lives matter", "blackwashing", bullshit like that)

I've grown out of all this and dropped my cringey past beliefs, and I'm glad I did. I'm also making it clear I won't pressure or force forgiveness from anyone. I fucked up, learned from my history, that's all there's to it. cutting off gross chuds did improve my health, I hate that I allowed these creeps to manipulate me and to be near me for so long. I'm very grateful for having friends that helped me and gave me a push to finally get my shit together.

I realized I belonged in the nonbinary spectrum at the end of last year (I go by whatever pronouns, I simply don't identify as being female or male. "Sofi" is how I want to be called by close friends). I'll check for dms but I'm no longer posting on this account, as a statement that it's past behind me. I'm now active at dieseI

thank you for your time, have a good night. stay safe and smart