I'm not gonna sugarcoat things. Life is not easy. My mother is a near-psychopath driven insane by her sisters' neglectful bullshit like her sister marrying a god damned child predator who avoids the law. My parents have a failing marriage and allow drug addicts to use our home like a hotel & my meathead older brother is still a manchild and can barely handle raising his newborn and his relationship with the kid's abusive and manipulative mom who's an absolute slob and leaves our house like a dumpster, my brother's patience and my own is reaching it's limit if not already crossed after several of these things. One of said tweakers tried choking my younger brother out in his sleep and almost whipped my dad with a bike chain for me & my dad defending him. My grandmother just passed away from ALS. My dad IS getting help from a substance issue and my mom hopefully will get therapy sometime. But even with that, there's still so much other shit. I gave my girlfriend's sister COVID, and I know I did because I was there to help them get groceries. I've been plagued by thoughts of attempting at my life more and more after years. I witnessed two shootings in my neigborhood. My city almost fell into chaos from people freaking out over political bullshit.
As of this post, there's a few days until my grandmother's funeral. My father just needs time to finish his therapy and hopefully after this pandemic shit's over it will be easier to get him a social security card for a job that he can safely keep and make a decent earning off so we can get out this shithole. I don't want to demand pity but I just ask for understanding. If you have anything like this in your life, I just want to say your not alone. Your not abandoned. Your loved ones aren't lost or gone & they stilll have a chance. Family is something not determined by names or blood, but through trust, strength & love. I want to say that those who were there for me whether here, somewhere as menial as a Discord chat or who dared to help irl - Thank you. I don't have enough words for how much all of that meant. If I ever fall off the cliff that's the limit I've been near-pushed off, please forgive me.