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2021 (Rambling III)
4 years ago
The Wolf writes...
Hey.
It's been... 4 years and two days ago since the last time I've posted up an Journal.
A lot happened.
And a lot didn't.
Let's start from the beginning.
Not long after the last journal I've gotten the message that FA was under siege by IMVU.
Amongst a lot of other people, I wasn't too keen about the whole takeover, so I put up the general message concerning the IMVU copyright thing, in case my OCs got taken over as a demo for their hideous bug-eyed characters they call "avatars".
DMCA that shit if it happened to any of my friends.
I think that around here is where I left FA's UI and UX behind. The site started to fall apart, a lot of CloudFlare mishaps which resulted in the site being down, up to a day's length...
Anyway - I was....in middle school, I think... memory's a blur.
I could vividly remember that I used to be more horny for sex and love and whathaveyou back then.
And that I also failed my normal run on College, extending it by an half year.
So. 2019 happened, I met this awesome pupper during that last half year of internship. We became almost boyfriends, but something did happened and...
...well, nevermind that. We still talk to each other, of course. We're good friends today, though.
2019 was also the year that I didn't attend my follow-up study that was tied to the study of my choice back then. I was accepted back then and I had a bright future ahead.
But hey, things roll the way it roll and I cannot bend it the way I want to back then.
I took up a job, a day job, at my favorite cinema that I used to go to when I was young. Didn't last long, though: roughly before the first pandemic struck my country I got admitted to the university of choice, but not to the study of my choice.
But I had to make do. I was finally in, and I was so hyped for it. I quitted both of my two jobs - the one at the cinema, and the other at an event hall during the evening - to fully focus and attend my study.
Then the pandemic fully struck. Some rules were applied. People started to get sick and die slowly.
I, somehow made new friends. A fox, a Dragon, and then I was let into a group...where I felt home, for some reason.
I picked up on podcasts, and I ran into this awesome furry podcast called The SoCalShepard Show and the dude behind, SoCal, is actually a nice dude. I hope I can meet up once this virus has been killed violently.
He recently got a girlfriend I also fancy, but I totally shipped with him because they look cute together (beyond belief, at times).
Thanks to them, I met a lot of new people and they all are really kind.
I picked up writing, with in the hope that I got inspired to get gun-ho about continuing the WolfDragon book I've been eyeing about for the rest of that year.
...
As the days turns into weeks, weeks turns into months, my mental health was dwindling. School, rest, school, rest, go outside to do some grocery shopping.
It was taxing at a point. It made me desperate for love.
I almost had it, too. Almost got someone for my own to love proper.
...but I always fished behind the net. Winter Vacation was supposed to be relaxing, but it was anything but relaxing. Had to do shit with Uni in order to get finished before the Uni reopened the 4th.
...
I'm tired, really I am.
Mentally I am.
I really want to end it all.
But I don't.
I didn't.
I will not.
I'm sure that I will make out of here.
Even when it's mentally draining.
Being stuck out, limited to whatever people say that I can do.
...I want my old life back - or at least be able to travel without purpose again.
I want to meet, I want to greet, I want to cry again.
I can't cry. I only feel sorrow. *sigh*
I really wonder if there's something for me that I can call my own.
To love, to hold, to cherish...
Moving partially away from this...thing:
Will I write here again? Doubt it.
Will I depart from FA? Don't know.
Will I ever upload new art I've commissioned over the years? No.
And with that, I think I'm done rambling about.
Y'all behave now, okay?
Happy Black History Month.
It's been... 4 years and two days ago since the last time I've posted up an Journal.
A lot happened.
And a lot didn't.
Let's start from the beginning.
Not long after the last journal I've gotten the message that FA was under siege by IMVU.
Amongst a lot of other people, I wasn't too keen about the whole takeover, so I put up the general message concerning the IMVU copyright thing, in case my OCs got taken over as a demo for their hideous bug-eyed characters they call "avatars".
DMCA that shit if it happened to any of my friends.
I think that around here is where I left FA's UI and UX behind. The site started to fall apart, a lot of CloudFlare mishaps which resulted in the site being down, up to a day's length...
Anyway - I was....in middle school, I think... memory's a blur.
I could vividly remember that I used to be more horny for sex and love and whathaveyou back then.
And that I also failed my normal run on College, extending it by an half year.
So. 2019 happened, I met this awesome pupper during that last half year of internship. We became almost boyfriends, but something did happened and...
...well, nevermind that. We still talk to each other, of course. We're good friends today, though.
2019 was also the year that I didn't attend my follow-up study that was tied to the study of my choice back then. I was accepted back then and I had a bright future ahead.
But hey, things roll the way it roll and I cannot bend it the way I want to back then.
I took up a job, a day job, at my favorite cinema that I used to go to when I was young. Didn't last long, though: roughly before the first pandemic struck my country I got admitted to the university of choice, but not to the study of my choice.
But I had to make do. I was finally in, and I was so hyped for it. I quitted both of my two jobs - the one at the cinema, and the other at an event hall during the evening - to fully focus and attend my study.
Then the pandemic fully struck. Some rules were applied. People started to get sick and die slowly.
I, somehow made new friends. A fox, a Dragon, and then I was let into a group...where I felt home, for some reason.
I picked up on podcasts, and I ran into this awesome furry podcast called The SoCalShepard Show and the dude behind, SoCal, is actually a nice dude. I hope I can meet up once this virus has been killed violently.
He recently got a girlfriend I also fancy, but I totally shipped with him because they look cute together (beyond belief, at times).
Thanks to them, I met a lot of new people and they all are really kind.
I picked up writing, with in the hope that I got inspired to get gun-ho about continuing the WolfDragon book I've been eyeing about for the rest of that year.
...
As the days turns into weeks, weeks turns into months, my mental health was dwindling. School, rest, school, rest, go outside to do some grocery shopping.
It was taxing at a point. It made me desperate for love.
I almost had it, too. Almost got someone for my own to love proper.
...but I always fished behind the net. Winter Vacation was supposed to be relaxing, but it was anything but relaxing. Had to do shit with Uni in order to get finished before the Uni reopened the 4th.
...
I'm tired, really I am.
Mentally I am.
I really want to end it all.
But I don't.
I didn't.
I will not.
I'm sure that I will make out of here.
Even when it's mentally draining.
Being stuck out, limited to whatever people say that I can do.
...I want my old life back - or at least be able to travel without purpose again.
I want to meet, I want to greet, I want to cry again.
I can't cry. I only feel sorrow. *sigh*
I really wonder if there's something for me that I can call my own.
To love, to hold, to cherish...
Moving partially away from this...thing:
Will I write here again? Doubt it.
Will I depart from FA? Don't know.
Will I ever upload new art I've commissioned over the years? No.
And with that, I think I'm done rambling about.
Y'all behave now, okay?
Happy Black History Month.
