I don’t think you’re worthless! Hell, you’re stronger than you realize! You’re strong because you’re doing everything you can to make ends meet, even while battling health conditions AND your living situation! Whoever said that the road to the Promise Land was paved is lying! It’s always rough trying to get where you want to be, and it might seem like your entire world is crashing down, but keep going! It’ll be worth it! You’ll see!

Thank you for your kind words

To say 2020 was a bad year is an under statement. Everyone around the globe has lost so much and life has been altered in ways that we didn't think possible. The mark of frustration, tension and stress only get worse and worse.

Everyone has pent-up stress and frustration that will make or break people (Mostly, it has been the latter) What Robert's actions and what he said are not just nor are they truly fair on both your part and his. Everyone, everyone around the world and the next have loads of things they have to deal with, albeit some worse that others. It's how they handle it is the thing that shows their character.

You are not worthless, nor a waste of space or even a burden. What he said may had been out of frustration but he needs to realize that everyone does their best in these times in the ways that they can. Working and being on your feet 12-13 hours a day making minimum wage (As an example) isn't something much people can do, even worse now with that damned virus running the whole world a muck with no end in sight. Everyone contributes in someway shape or form. EVERYONE. Whether it be working like a slave in retail, taking notes for executives or even as much as existing and being an ear to listen, they too all share the form of contribution in some shape or form. None are useless, worthless or even burdens to have.

You are a strong human being, what you have went through, the heart condition, PTSD, depression and anxiety, all those things do a real number to people, so much so that the damage is far worse in the inside than it is on their physical body. With the fever dream that was 2020 and all the scars still fresh in us this fact of survival is only driven more deeper in us. You are a warrior. Where others have cracked and fallen apart, cave to the pressure and stress and even go as far as to lash out (Robert in this case) You were strong and keep pushing. The cards that you were dealt are not the most ideal, nor the best, but like anyone, you can turn it around. Even if, the walls are closing in, the door slightly ajar, it can be changed. You have that power. Don't you dare let or even think on Robert's words. If you believe that all that shit he said is true, you'll only fall into that trap of permanent torment.

Thank you for that. I think he forgets sometimes that everyone else is going through all of this crap too. He forgets that other people are facing the same things we are every day.

2020 was rough for almost every single person on this planet but he is acting as if only he was effected. Yes, there were a lot of things that have happened to us since 2019, but I've been there with him too. They've caused stress on me too. I just think the pressure has gotten too much for him over the past year and he doesn't know how to cope with it well.

For you to have so much going on and still be fighting so hard to stay strong - you're far from worthless, and he needs to realize that you're doing your absolute best.

Commissions are hard to get if you're a smaller artist and that's the hardest part when you're trying to live off you're art.

I would suggest, if it's stable income he's wanting, maybe a Patreon or a subscribestar - given your talent, you'd take off in no time ^^

I'll also poke around to a couple of my artist friends and see if they can help get the word out a little farther and hopefully send some more commissions and maybe some donations your way :3

But I repeat - you're doing your absolute best and have no reason to feel worthless. You're super strong to be able to take everything going on and work through it ♡

I appreciate every single thing you've done for me so far. You are a wonderful person and I appreciate your existence.

I actually have a Patreon https://www.patreon.com/MingLi

Thank you so much for the sweet things you've said

You'll never be worthless. People may try to put you down, but it's you who decides who you are. You're in charge of your own future, never the naysayers. V_V

I appreciate your kind words and your icon

Im feeling the same way about myself youre not alone. You're not worthless. I'm going to tell you while we've never spoken you can reach out to me I've been diagnosed with ADD OCD and Anxiety. Youre not worthless and you're not alone. <3

Do whats best for you rather than making someone else happy. Believe me im guilty of it too so you're not alone <3

That means so much to me

Mental illness is rough af and I know in some part of my brain that it is just lying to me and talking me down, but it is hard to ignore those thoughts.

I hope you can keep your head up yourself and keep the good feelings flowing

Im only a message away if you ever need anything you can get through this and thank you <3 I know those thoughts are hard to ignore but just know they're only thoughts and your actions speak louder. You're a kind person I can see it and you're stronger than any negative word possible!

;w; you are so kind, thank you so much

Of course not a problem <3

You are absolutely worthwhile and I'm so sorry you had to hear that during a fight. My husband and I have had some talks over money being tight a few times as well and it's never fun when it gets heated and insecurities get touched on.

One major thing that helped me was raising prices to something more sustainable for the time spent so that I don't have to rely on getting as many at one time to cover our bills. It was scary to do and I was fully prepared to go back to my old prices if I needed to but luckily I didn't need to and a lot of stress has been lifted off of my shoulders because of that, which has helped with my anxiety quite a bit. As artists it is very easy to undervalue our time and energy and you never know unless you try for more in some cases.

It looks like you're feeling better now than when you wrote this, but I hope your situation gets better soon. To help out I was thinking of making a little signal boost journal with a link to your page and your ko-fi to see if some of my followers can help since they've definitely helped me out of some tight spots. I did want to check with you if that's okay first and if you wanted any other specific links added in for them to help out ♥

I appreciate that greatly, and yeah finance fights are no fun.

I have recently raised my prices in my 2020 commissions sheet, and surprisingly people have accepted those prices. The cheaper art I offer is fairly simple art that is quick to do.

I appreciate you sharing my situation! Those links sound perfectly fine to me, thank you!

you aren't worthless, only a monster would ever call you like that

He has apologized since I posted this, money is tight and it causes major fights sometimes.

nice to heard that
also it's nice for you to be capable of forgiving others
once a vegan called me "asshole that eat animals" in front of his daughter
i still haven't forgived him

I don't know the whole situation, but from what I've read, maybe he has more inside that he's not letting out. People lash out when they've let things build up inside them. I may just have met you, but I want to help however I can. I'm here for you. I too have ptsd, depression, and anxiety, so I can kinda understand where you're coming from here. I know when my husband and I fight, we go our separate ways for a few hours and then talk things over. Maybe spend the night at a friend's place?

We don't have friends or family out here unfortunately.

We have since talked about it and the tension has calmed down for a while.

He had a botched hernia surgery coming up on a full year ago, and it's been over a year since he got the hernia itself.

He thought I'd be back to work by now, but life hasn't worked out that way.

He stressed and I just happened to be the closest target when he blew up.

Ah. Well I'm glad things are calmer now, and I really hope things get better fast for you guys.

I appreciate the kind thoughts

We are currently at a dr appointment for Robert's workers comp. They are checking for any tearing in other parts of his abdominal wall because he has been complaining about pain in other spots. Hopefully they find something that can help him get fixed soon.

sorry for the belated reply. Did they find anything?

Actually found nothing at all.

Interesting. Well, I hope things get better soon, in every way. And I guarantee I'm commissioning you again some time, just depends on when I can get a job again. XD