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Stop guilting me already (Vent)
5 years ago
General
I need to make it clear. I've been in this fandom for about 21 years of my life, and 17 of those years it was as a legal adult. When I made "adult" characters, a large majority of my "friends" would treat me as a pinup. When I announced I was switching to female, 10 of my gay friends dropped me on my ass because they were misogynists who were angry that they no longer got to have sexual thoughts about me. The sexual interest still happened, but I enjoyed it... for a time... but eventually it got empty, and I felt like I fell into the same trap as I did before, where a lot of the friendships felt very fetishy and hollow. So I decided I was done last year and made Flower to transition to being a kidfur. The fallout was not as bad as me coming out as trans, but it basically resulted in people stopping the sexual advances at best and going radio silent on me at worst (which I could live with), and a lot of friends I now have are some of the best I've had in a long time, and I am grateful for them. And I am thankful that there are more than enough artists who do not judge me for my decision based on the specific age of my character and what she wears.
However, despite the massive weight off my shoulders and generally being happier, there is a potential storm on the horizon. There are artists who are "uncomfortable" doing underage characters (which is fine, but the issue is how easily the mentality can switch to being more judgmental) Just the other day, I had someone call me an "underage diaper pedo" in a message left on someone else's submission. (which not only did the person who made that submission block me, but allowed the slander to stand with no contest). And I get this feeling that there are going to be people "shaming" me to go back to being an adult character. That I should be 18+ because "it's the right thing to do", and that if I don't they'll see me as a pedo or a creep, or that it'll make people hate me because I refuse to "be normal".
I think it shows the direction this fandom is going. It used to be much more open, we used to accommodate kids. We used to make the attempt to actually be a big tent and we were closer despite the drama. Nowadays, we're a shell of our former selves, constantly looking for someone or something to tear down, constantly making new rules to make us this sort of heavily sexual/political group that shames anyone who doesn't play along with their exact plans, and I"m quite frankly disgusted and exhausted.
No, I am not a pedo.
No, I do not have any sexual fantasies involving children, ever.
No, being a child character does not implicate me of some wrongdoing.
Yes, I would gladly beat a real offending pedo's face in until there was no face left if I ever found such a person.
And no, I will not make Flower an adult character because of YOUR personal feelings. There will always be people who will draw her at the age she is meant to be, that i am comfortable with, because it is therapeutic for me and makes me feel comfortable. I went through the "sexual" shit for far too long, it's worn out its welcome, I don't want it, I don't need it, I am happy where I am. I will NOT tolerate anyone who tries to bully me to "adapt" to some new paradigm because they can't mind their own fucking business. Don't like that I'm not what you think I should be? Get the fuck off my page. Noone is making you look at my work, or read my journal, or forcing you to like me. I am not someone's puppet or clay doll.
To those who have supported me through these changes and understand where I'm coming from, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for being here for me, I love you so much, and I hope we continue having strong solid friendships that'll last. Hugs and smooches <3
However, despite the massive weight off my shoulders and generally being happier, there is a potential storm on the horizon. There are artists who are "uncomfortable" doing underage characters (which is fine, but the issue is how easily the mentality can switch to being more judgmental) Just the other day, I had someone call me an "underage diaper pedo" in a message left on someone else's submission. (which not only did the person who made that submission block me, but allowed the slander to stand with no contest). And I get this feeling that there are going to be people "shaming" me to go back to being an adult character. That I should be 18+ because "it's the right thing to do", and that if I don't they'll see me as a pedo or a creep, or that it'll make people hate me because I refuse to "be normal".
I think it shows the direction this fandom is going. It used to be much more open, we used to accommodate kids. We used to make the attempt to actually be a big tent and we were closer despite the drama. Nowadays, we're a shell of our former selves, constantly looking for someone or something to tear down, constantly making new rules to make us this sort of heavily sexual/political group that shames anyone who doesn't play along with their exact plans, and I"m quite frankly disgusted and exhausted.
No, I am not a pedo.
No, I do not have any sexual fantasies involving children, ever.
No, being a child character does not implicate me of some wrongdoing.
Yes, I would gladly beat a real offending pedo's face in until there was no face left if I ever found such a person.
And no, I will not make Flower an adult character because of YOUR personal feelings. There will always be people who will draw her at the age she is meant to be, that i am comfortable with, because it is therapeutic for me and makes me feel comfortable. I went through the "sexual" shit for far too long, it's worn out its welcome, I don't want it, I don't need it, I am happy where I am. I will NOT tolerate anyone who tries to bully me to "adapt" to some new paradigm because they can't mind their own fucking business. Don't like that I'm not what you think I should be? Get the fuck off my page. Noone is making you look at my work, or read my journal, or forcing you to like me. I am not someone's puppet or clay doll.
To those who have supported me through these changes and understand where I'm coming from, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for being here for me, I love you so much, and I hope we continue having strong solid friendships that'll last. Hugs and smooches <3
Most babyfurs I have met use their little characters from their day to day life to relax and try and relieve stress.
As for the direction of the fandom I hate the political red team V.S. blue team nonsense too. I don't care if someone is left or right leaning IF THEY ARE A DECENT PERSON. I have known left leaning and right leaning assholes so to make everything based on politics is beyond stupid in my opinion.
I just hate one thing in the fandom that all furries in my day came here to avoid judgmental assholes, but now a days there are way to many judgmental people in the fandom saying this and that is wrong. I agree with you that they need to mind their own business.
I also wanted to add in closing that I hate when people are too controlling or overly sex crazed it drives me nuts. Mostly the latter where everything has to be NSFW. not saying NSFW is bad, but I hate that mentality that they just wanna see your characters in those settings. Yes I have a few NSFW pics of 18+ characters (-18 is not ok) but my NSFW art is rare because I don't spend all day fixating on that kind of stuff.
I'm just very sorry you had to deal with close minded judgmental idiots.
And what baffles me extra is the fact that we went from being a fandom that while porn was always popular (running joke and all), normal art was still seen as beautiful and could be appreciated. But now we've gotten to the point where, like you said, NSFW is utterly obsessed over to the point where if you're not part of that culture, you must be repressing yourself or have something else wrong with you, like it's shameful. And I don't think we should ever encourage that sort of mindset. Part of removing elements of children in the fandom is to basically turn it into a sort of adult echo chamber, so it's like the worst of both worlds where kids are no longer allowed to find themselves in the fandom because they're seen as a liability, and not only that, but you're expected to have one specific set of opinions or be shunned by a vocal base. It's utterly absurd.
Anyway, I thank you for sharing your thoughts, and I'd be more than happy to talk more with you sometime :3 *hugs*
didn't draw it https://www.furaffinity.net/view/39380818/
now how some might find that offensive is beyond me but meh who needs those kind of people around any how. It is hard at times though to "just move on" but it is for the best a lot of times.
As for FA compared to other social battle grounds. Wait social medias I prefer FA hands down, and have gotten off pretty lucky. I will agree with you too that unlike a ot of other people here I won't block a -18 user unless they 1. Are trying to talk about 18+ topics, or 2. are faveing NSFW stuff from me. but if they fave my SFW stuff or comment something it doesn't bother me. Oh and I don't do notes from -18 users just for my safety. but yea kids aren't evil or should be shunned, and like you said they keep the fandom alive and well and like anyone should only be banned/blocked if they break the rules.
Oh yea for sure^^ I'm willow333#0052 on discord if you ever wanna chat there or here *hugs you back*
In the end you are who you are and no one has the right to say otherwise or have the right to try and shape you the way they desire.
Screw em, be happy with who you are.
Fuck right off with that.