The currently trending socially acceptable term is "intersex". Ask again in a month for the next code word.

I think folks are usually more upset about sexual or derogatory connotations on terms than the words themselves.

whats up with these "name" bans? i never understood it cause to me its starting to feel like we nitpicking things again (and honestly its not too far from the truth when we you know look at alot of things)

A lot of people latch onto special keywords as the 'problem' instead of actually facing the problems themselves, it allows them to feel superior without actually having to expend any effort or take any personal risk, in a similar fashion to how people do the 'thoughts and prayers' thing after a mass shooting or tragic accident. Positive personal reinforcement without the accompanying responsibility of actually tackling the sources of the problems. Sort of assuaging the "I'm doing my part" but without any of the effort required to actually do anything.

sounds about right with how things are going and its kind of tiring

Fuck 'em. First and foremost, 'Herm' isn't a slur, it's a shortening of an actual scientific term. If they don't like that then they're objectively wrong because that isn't an opinion, it's a fact.

As for the rest of them, if someone is *Self-Identifying* as something, it's inherently not a slur because it's positive to that person, which by denying them that identification, is marginalizing them and demonizing them just the same as any other group that might care to do the same thing for more malicious reasons. By focusing on the wording instead of the actual people, on the terminology that offends them instead of the very lives they are supposedly supporting, it shows a deep and saddening kind of hypocrisy.

The other problem is that the keywords constantly change because those selfsame people will see 'bad' people using the new word derogatorily and just abandon it, give it over to the ones they're supposedly trying to protect the marginalized group from without even trying to stop it or reclaim it, and gradually every word belongs to the chuds and hecklers and there is less and less left for the actual people who might be comfortable using whatever term or another to identify themselves.

Edit: An apology for how long that got, I've always been frustrated because when 'Trap' got removed and 'femboi' seems to suddenly not apply if you have more curves than a wooden plank, the only way to describe the kind of person my 'sona is became "A cisgendered but especially feminine individual who is comfortable presenting as female at times for reasons of sexual attractiveness or just because traditionally female garments are cuter" because genderfluid doesn't work when your gender itself is solid and stable despite the back and forth of other elements of the self and presentation.

when i saw that herm was a "slur" i was like isnt this like a scientific word and havent it also been used in the bible too since when did it became a slur? right there i knew people are being too picky again and its going to lead us down a dark DARK path, we say we dont want censorship yet here we are creating it, creating the EXACT thing we said we didnt want to have in the first place.

Yeah, I noticed a bit of this problem in the past myself, especially in regards to "shi/hir". Why not just say "I prefer the term [Insert Phrase Here]?" If you ask politely instead of attack me for using the wrong assigned gender-identifiers and associated pronouns, I'll make a conscious effort to do so. Just attacking me for no reason only serves to make you a part of the problem that you're hellbent on trying to correct.

I personally think that some of these um... trigger warnings, I suppose? They're predicated on people using the words against them maliciously, and in the moment of reaction, they forget that the people they're talking to are not said people. I want to give the benefit of the doubt, but I need said same benefit given to me as well.

And I say this as someone who has been corrected rather sharply in the past about this sort of thing myself. It's not fun, but I do my best. >O<;

Its a tricky issue. I've enjoyed playing with myself as a 'c-boy' a lot lately - a guy overall but with female junk, and a lot of people don't like that term, for very justifiable reasons. Its a slur against trans men and like, not something I'd ever project onto someone else, and if someone had an issue with it I'd be fine not using it around them... however its the main way I can think of to describe myself when I'm feeling more gender-fluid.

The thing I enjoy about playing myself like this is the juxtaposition of being pretty solidly a boy and yet doing the very non-boy thing of... getting knocked up. Calling myself intersex or trans in those scenarios acknowledges that gender is a spectrum (which, obviously, it is) wheras I more like propping up this imaginary gender binary and then feeling it get smashed.

But I can't rightfully say that the term is blanket OKAY to use - especially considering I myself am a guy whos pretty comfortable being cisgender, and am in a way fetishizing an aspect of what is for some people, a foundational part of who they are. I'm kinda coming from a pretty huge place of privilege. I'm not gonna begrudge anybody who takes issue with the term - I'll explain why I particularly use it in a self-identifying way, and if I ever do find a term I think fits better I'd probably shift to using it - but at the end of the day I think the best thing you can do is just explain why you identify that way to anyone who might have an issue with it, acknowledge that their reasons are valid, and obviously don't apply labels to people they aren't already using themselves. You can't please everyone, but as long as you're comfortable with how you self identify and you're not advocating putting others down, I think you're fine.

The terms I see used most often in progressive spaces are "Altersex" and "dualsex". I tend to default to "Altersex" when I use it in my own work but I have also used "Dualsex"

to my knowledge "Altersex" was created from within the trans community.

"Intersex" is a different thing, having anatomical features of biological male and female but not -complete- of either.

Trans and intersex people find "hermaphrodite" to be dehumanizing as it is a term usually used for invertebrate anatomy and it has been historically used with derision when referring to people.

I don't really want to touch the others x.x

Dualsex sounds the least clunky and most self-explanatory of all the various alternatives I've seen suggested. And yeah, that's why I don't use the others they commonly list and why I found it frustrating that herm was being compared to them because it's both the most accurate and furthest stretch to try and pull that into an insulting use, by which point, someone just calling you "a transexual" feels equally derogatory because it's just 100% the intent behind the way they're addressing you.

Honestly, my stance is if someone tells you that something hurts them and to stop... stop.