I can't be called a furry.
A lot of the local furries in the past said I wasn't a furry.

I can't be called a friend.
I can't keep a conversation going and I take forever to answer my messages. I rather procrastinate and being toxic to strangers in online games.

I can't be called a human. I often rationalize too much and other humans gave quite the hell in my teen years and beyond. Deeply inside of me, I despise the society. And if the humanity ever cease to exist I might just laugh my ass off to oblivion.

Feel free to call me whatever you want. Remember that names and categories you apply to people are merely just tags helping you to regroup them into your definition of the said tag. I know who I am, I don't the society approval to define myself.

Not much of a journal, is it, eh? Talking to you guys is such a chore. I probably hate talking to people. It never really comes naturally to me. I always have to carefully weight my words so I don't hurt your feelings and mines afterward. I might just gave up on being social and embrace my sociopath side. You may say I an attention seeker. Whatever. I just wanted to at least explain to you..errr... I hate when people don't explain to me their train of thoughts, so it's probably the least I could do.

When I was kid, I had to see a speech tutor. Apparently, my words came out too fast and all wrong out of my mouth. Now, they come too slow and all wrong. It's probably one reason why I stopped chatting online. My mind keep looping the words and sentences in my mind indefinitely before writing them down, burning so much energy to explain such simple things to people that are not in my mind. It is frustrating. It is like this most of the time.

Sigh.

What now? Another YET break from "furry" social media for a couple of month. People tend to be SO polarized about so many topics these days. I like to stand on the fence. To play the devil's advocate once in a while.

I got my physical and mental health to focus on. Sedentarity and loneliness are slow but effective killers... and I have been living with these killers for quite too many years already. I want to die of old age in my sleep, in a car crash, in an explosion or with a bullet in my head, not sitting in a wheelchair, drooling, a full diaper and all senile.

Here are my beliefs:
- There is no magic
- There is no soul
- There is no karma
- There is no hell
- There is no heaven
- There is no god
- There is no life after death

Only humans, matter and void. Humans are the only gods, masters of their own destiny and end.

Bye. See you later when I can finally grow a spine and fully assume my position.