I'm going to try and be more positive and less cynical now. Just had a legit stroke after doing a few months of self HRT and untreated high BP because I couldn't stand to be stuck in this gender any longer. Hopefully I'll be able to find an endo soon. Need to let go of this anger and bitterness. Trying to use the conception of Butterfluff to accept this non-ideal body has been a goal for awhile, maybe that'll alleviate some of the dysphoria and dysmorphia.