Update:

I've been through a lot since I last posted, but my mom visited me for 6 weeks to help me get my place in order and help me cope with my depression and anxiety. In that time, I got a new psychiatrist and she cranked down the doses of my meds because they weren't doing anything good at those doses. Then she started me on a new medication called lamotrigine, and in just the few days I've been taking it, I've seen a lot of positive signs. Part of me is still cringing at every emotional upset, thinking "Oh God, am I going to spiral here? Is the medicine not working?", but so far, so good, and we aren't even at full strength yet. Things are good enough now I'm not even sure I will NEED the next upgrade in pill strength - this one might be enough, but we'll see.

Thanks again everyone for your support - I get a little misty-eyed thinking about all of you and the way you made me feel less alone when I needed it. Bless you all. I will continue to keep you posted as things develop, so stay tuned.

-BC out