So now that sometime has passed I can finally speak how I feel about my friend. You may think 'It's only been 3 days did I really resolve it that quickly?' like I said I've dealt with death before I lost my grandma, and my god brother already I've developed a tolerance to it. Not only that but his death was on the 4th I only posted it just recently so I've had time to think about this.

My friend was a guy like I said I grew up with, and both he and I shared similar beliefs, ideas, and emotions. For a long time he felt the world was not worth living in because of everything going on with the violence and people's general attitude. He felt that death was the only way out and was very suicidal as a result. He would call me about his feelings and we would talk and I would help him stay on the straight and narrow. It wasn't easy he was a very stubborn individual and often felt that violence was the answer to a problem and he was afraid of what he'd do based on his emotions. It didn't help that his family weren't the most supportive of folks either often he when he asked them for help they would tell him to deal with it himself or only helped with him having to do something for them. For him I was his true brother as I often helped him without asking for anything. I tried my best to keep him happy and healthy and unfortunately I can't say I exactly succeeded on that front. But that's enough about that what went on between him and me apart from what I've said here is private.

My feelings pretty much boil down to this, I'll miss him terribly, and I'm slightly mad at him because we both had plans to live with each other in the future. But I'm happy for him because he's finally free of this worlds problems which had often plagued him. It might seem strange to say this last part but this was how he genuinely felt about the world. I'll probably delete this and my other journal one day but for the most part I'm back. My writing is gonna come but it's gonna be slow as I slowly get back into my groove again till then stay safe folks and remember to keep those you love close to your heart.