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An Update (Personal)
4 years ago
Hey hey,
So I thought I'd do a little update here. I don't post journals that often I know, and I probably should've communicated more often back when I was more active.
Personal Stuff
So, bluntly put, even aside from the COVID-19 pandemic and my crappy job that makes me feel like shit. I've found it weirdly difficult within the fandom for the last... 3-ish years. Things sort of went south in 2018 while I was trying to do art and be productive, certain people did some things that still make me fume until this day... you can see my last journal over on what was my artist account just for ONE of those things.
I've never really been great at Social Media, and even worse still, at maintaining friendships and relations. Most of the people I talked to even just 2 years ago I don't ever hear from now, even when I make the effort to contact them myself. Which is totally fine, you've got your lives to attend to! I'm never gonna hold that sorta stuff against anyone! Some of it was definitely my fault given I kinda ghosted for most of 2019. Then tried to do a redesign of my sona which has only ended in well... me still not having any ideas on what to do with him. Kind of having a bit of an identity crisis within the fandom I guess, don't really think I identify by my dragon character anymore and am starting to consider perhaps rebranding and starting over entirely.
I guess the decline of this entire persona of mine really does stem from around about 2018/19. Unfortunately, I feel the fandom on a whole is kind of to blame for it. Or at least, the toxic part of the fandom.
I'm considering ceasing commissioning entirely unless it's with friends, and perhaps finally letting go of some characters I've just not given any love since 2019 when I last commissioned most of the works that exist of them. - May sell them to make back some of the... extensive amount of money I put into them - although believe me with the art some of them have, it'll be fucking expensive to buy them off of me, and... I'll also refuse to sell them to what I commonly refer to as "Character Hoarders" who just buy up designs, and just never post anything of them. This includes blank profiles. - obviously this isn't final or anything but... yeah, this is kinda where I've been at for a while. There's 2 that won't be leaving me, ever, but that's because they're mine, and mine alone.
Art
So yeah, I've not done art in over 2 years again, I'm... very painfully aware of that fact, not going to lie it even annoys me because I know I could've improved if I had put the time and/or effort into really improving, but... I don't get how some people do this for a living, and I really, really don't get people that don't do it for a living, but are still posting near daily, it's seriously got to be exhausting, I made the attempt.
Will I be back at art? Perhaps... but for one... almost certainly under a new name and DEFINITELY won't be trying to do regular posting, and absolutely won't be doing commissions for anyone other than friends. - I've more been doing graphic design, perhaps I could help and design some stuff for people, who knows?
So I thought I'd do a little update here. I don't post journals that often I know, and I probably should've communicated more often back when I was more active.
Personal Stuff
So, bluntly put, even aside from the COVID-19 pandemic and my crappy job that makes me feel like shit. I've found it weirdly difficult within the fandom for the last... 3-ish years. Things sort of went south in 2018 while I was trying to do art and be productive, certain people did some things that still make me fume until this day... you can see my last journal over on what was my artist account just for ONE of those things.
I've never really been great at Social Media, and even worse still, at maintaining friendships and relations. Most of the people I talked to even just 2 years ago I don't ever hear from now, even when I make the effort to contact them myself. Which is totally fine, you've got your lives to attend to! I'm never gonna hold that sorta stuff against anyone! Some of it was definitely my fault given I kinda ghosted for most of 2019. Then tried to do a redesign of my sona which has only ended in well... me still not having any ideas on what to do with him. Kind of having a bit of an identity crisis within the fandom I guess, don't really think I identify by my dragon character anymore and am starting to consider perhaps rebranding and starting over entirely.
I guess the decline of this entire persona of mine really does stem from around about 2018/19. Unfortunately, I feel the fandom on a whole is kind of to blame for it. Or at least, the toxic part of the fandom.
I'm considering ceasing commissioning entirely unless it's with friends, and perhaps finally letting go of some characters I've just not given any love since 2019 when I last commissioned most of the works that exist of them. - May sell them to make back some of the... extensive amount of money I put into them - although believe me with the art some of them have, it'll be fucking expensive to buy them off of me, and... I'll also refuse to sell them to what I commonly refer to as "Character Hoarders" who just buy up designs, and just never post anything of them. This includes blank profiles. - obviously this isn't final or anything but... yeah, this is kinda where I've been at for a while. There's 2 that won't be leaving me, ever, but that's because they're mine, and mine alone.
Art
So yeah, I've not done art in over 2 years again, I'm... very painfully aware of that fact, not going to lie it even annoys me because I know I could've improved if I had put the time and/or effort into really improving, but... I don't get how some people do this for a living, and I really, really don't get people that don't do it for a living, but are still posting near daily, it's seriously got to be exhausting, I made the attempt.
Will I be back at art? Perhaps... but for one... almost certainly under a new name and DEFINITELY won't be trying to do regular posting, and absolutely won't be doing commissions for anyone other than friends. - I've more been doing graphic design, perhaps I could help and design some stuff for people, who knows?
You do what you feel is right, though.