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Rambling thoughts...
4 years ago
General
I am bear.
Often, I wish I WAS a bear because, frankly, I'm terrified of the human race and its insanity. Humans seem so entirely bent on destroying not only themselves but the entire planet that I just feel powerless to do anything about it. I'm barely able to get the energy together to help my family and friends, let alone save the world. I feel that the furry fandom is a way for people to, like me, just escape from being human. But then I think, running away is not the solution--if there IS a solution. That is, really, why I started the Good Furry Award. It is to encourage the works of furries who are actually making the world a better place. We need more of that and less of furries who just see the fandom as a way to get high and have sex at furcons.
The longer I stay in the fandom, the more mixed my feelings become about it. I don't like what I see in a lot of the younger furs, but then I get hopeful when I see people like those who have been nominated for the award.
The older I get, though, the less hope I feel. I'm 55, and I already feel very very tired. I'm so sick of people fighting all the time, or trying to prove they are better than everyone else, or grabbing power, or hoarding money, or trying to be popular. I'm a misanthrope. I dislike my species, I really do. Funny how one can like some individuals of a species, though, but when one considers the entirety of it, one is appalled.
I want to help people, I do. But another side of me often thinks, why bother?
I already feel my body wearing out, and I think my hypertension is gonna catch up with me despite the meds. Jim died at 59. I thought that was too young, but I can now see his point.
The longer I stay in the fandom, the more mixed my feelings become about it. I don't like what I see in a lot of the younger furs, but then I get hopeful when I see people like those who have been nominated for the award.
The older I get, though, the less hope I feel. I'm 55, and I already feel very very tired. I'm so sick of people fighting all the time, or trying to prove they are better than everyone else, or grabbing power, or hoarding money, or trying to be popular. I'm a misanthrope. I dislike my species, I really do. Funny how one can like some individuals of a species, though, but when one considers the entirety of it, one is appalled.
I want to help people, I do. But another side of me often thinks, why bother?
I already feel my body wearing out, and I think my hypertension is gonna catch up with me despite the meds. Jim died at 59. I thought that was too young, but I can now see his point.
Tl;Dr just focus on yourself, empathy isn't your friend.
Let me give you a paw...
I am some kind of good and a bad furball at the same time, as in this place as in the fandom... sometimes I look for 'different stuffs' that I can't find in other places or fandoms; but at the same time I REALLY enjoy great artwork of such excellent artists like
It is true that things go very bad here in the fandom (Politics, very lewd comments and submissions, diapers and cubs (I REALLY HATE THAT STUFFS!) and other issues) however it is better and more conforting just trying to focus in the things that already are worth: new promisses that come, some weird furries that stop being furries and other things. as it is said in the Murphy law: "if anything can go bad, it will go bad" (well I'm spanish speaker I don't know how it is stated...), so, I think that you may just let the flow go and still be enjoying your time here, sometimes the things that you desire come by themselves.
As a politics weirdo of my country, in Mexico, I spent very much time trying to convince people in social media about the bad politics and warning about the incapacity of the man who is now president of my country, I won't talk about that person because it is not the place, but I felt even depresion because I couldn't "save the world" or my country, even I was practically ignored. (but I was right!)
the lesson is: I learnt that you have to stop expecting very much of people because people won't change magically, however you can make little changes and any progress is good, no matter its size. It is true that there are people who can produce big changes but we must work with what we can do.
music is very therapeutic:
- for now and look for "relaxing music" on Youtube
- or try Enya, Enigma,
- and when you can, take a walk in a park listening soft music
ok, its all... I hope I have been of help