I
Don’t even know what to put here
Skip if you don’t like anxiety, mental health, or yk life stuff.

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Ok so like


I wrote a poem that encapsulates how I’ve been lately.

I
feel like the stress is so much
but then it all just
goes nowhere.
like a tsunami
the impending doom is there
as my soul bleeds ice
a slurry of anxiety
and pain
and stress
and it just is
that is how things are
they stagnate
the wave,
frozen and quivering above me
held back by some power greater than I
by the universe itself
not letting me collapse
not letting me crumple
like a sad plastic bag
that’s been carried too far and too long
by a force it cannot control
abused and whipped every which way
and it gives its last
in a moment
and then folds in
and is no more


And I would like to add that no, I am not doing anything to let it out. Why? I honestly don’t know. That’s no I don’t really care. It seems like I just live in a constant state of anxiety and stress and just- I don’t even know how to explain it. It’s kind of like right after midnight. You feel this stillness and the order in the chaos that is the universe and life and it is still. Everything hangs there, frozen in time, as you walk past everybody unmoving in the still cold, the only one awake now. Your breath is like ice but it doesn’t stop, a clock ticking by as all the others have ceased. You feel the aloneness, and yet the privacy to scream and yell and dance and be you is freeing. It is your hour, your time to be alive without worrying about what they think. It’s all you. No facade, no false mask hiding the decaying pain, just you as you were meant to be, unmolded by expectations and stress and life and the freedom in it is just so refreshing. My time. Time to live.


And I don’t often get that.
That freedom.
That stillness,
though I long for it.


This has been pretty long, but thanks for reading, thanks for being, and sorry it’s so chaotic.


Thanks,
~Blackberry <3