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Just Venting.
4 years ago
*WARNING*
** If you don't want to read a journal with me venting just stop reading now. **
I have lost motivation to pretty much do anything. I've gotten to a point where I feel I'll be better off just being dead.
My art isn't really taking me places and it's nowhere near what I think it should. Even if I took commissions, that wouldn't help. All I'll be thinking is someone just paid actual money to receive my disappointing art.
I still don't have a job. Last time I had a job was 2015. I wasted my life going to college without a clue on what I really wanted to do. That and I'm just dumb. Incredibly stupid. I can't remember even the most basic formulas and information.
Life has just been on a downward spirl and last year and even this year haven't helped.
Keep telling doctors about pain and it's been happening for years. Test don't find anything and if a test does find something it seems not to be a big deal.(rib/right side pain) I'm literally afraid to open my mouth to much. The pain it triggers if I do is intense. Like drop whatever I had.
I am 31 (something I keep forgetting) and never been on a date.
People dream of owning a fursuit and I'm here wishing I could see on in real life.
Whoever read this far, thanks.
I'm not going to do anything crazy but yea I'm tired of life. Nothing I do matters. No one really wouldn't notice if I never came back.
** If you don't want to read a journal with me venting just stop reading now. **
I have lost motivation to pretty much do anything. I've gotten to a point where I feel I'll be better off just being dead.
My art isn't really taking me places and it's nowhere near what I think it should. Even if I took commissions, that wouldn't help. All I'll be thinking is someone just paid actual money to receive my disappointing art.
I still don't have a job. Last time I had a job was 2015. I wasted my life going to college without a clue on what I really wanted to do. That and I'm just dumb. Incredibly stupid. I can't remember even the most basic formulas and information.
Life has just been on a downward spirl and last year and even this year haven't helped.
Keep telling doctors about pain and it's been happening for years. Test don't find anything and if a test does find something it seems not to be a big deal.(rib/right side pain) I'm literally afraid to open my mouth to much. The pain it triggers if I do is intense. Like drop whatever I had.
I am 31 (something I keep forgetting) and never been on a date.
People dream of owning a fursuit and I'm here wishing I could see on in real life.
Whoever read this far, thanks.
I'm not going to do anything crazy but yea I'm tired of life. Nothing I do matters. No one really wouldn't notice if I never came back.
Just because it doesn't seem like you'll get there all that soon doesn't mean you'll never get there at all. Just keep going and improving!
Easier said than done, maybe, but still!
Call me 773-606-5408 since actual advice is blacklisted here
"Release... Let me take on eternity. Taking one more step, and let it rip through me!" - Cryoshell, "Bye, Bye, Babylon"