So I've been pretty damn radio silent for the past two years. Before it was mostly just a slowdown and burnout, but this year I had intended to change that and get back into regularly making art.

Obviously that hasn't happened.

The day I had chosen to sit down, and start working on something on Krita, was the same day a officer came to my house to inform me that my father had passed away.
He died by his own choosing, no longer wanting to constantly fight with his alcohol addiction. It's a common myth that people most of the time plan out their suicides long in advance, and while that's usually not true, this was one of those times where it was. He had long already gotten his arrangements in order, everything was left on a table for whoever found him and the cops.

This was months ago.

I would be outright lying if I said I was devastated. By no means was my father a bad man. Hell as far as drunks go, he was certainly never physical, a bit of a dickhead but one who thought he was being the class clown instead of the clown's ass. Off the sauce he was a genuinely decent guy. One who I already had known had dealt with lifelong depression, and had attempted suicide years prior. One who, years before I was even aware of the former and before the latter ever happened, I had already made myself come to terms with the fact all my family members will, in all likelihood, die before me simply from age differences alone.

That's how it usually goes, the offspring outlives the parents, after all.
So I wasn't devastated, I had already prepared for something. And I wasn't surprised.
But boy was I stunned. Because at the end of the day you still never expect to have something like that happen in the moments. "Oh maybe someday, but surely not today!"

I had basically forgotten I was ever even something of an artist in the following time, focusing more on college work, modding Zener into Spyro Reignited, going on an Elder Scrolls Online binge.

And not much else.

Well, besides major revisions to a setting no one on this site has really even seen yet. And that brings us to now.
This journal sure as hell isn't a message saying "I'm back" because I'm not. Soon sure, but right now? No. Not until I know how rusty I am. General drawing hasn't changed, and funny enough my anatomy seems to have improved slightly like the last time I took a hiatus. My painting skills have suffered hard though, especially with hair. The brush I used to use ain't cutting it, I can't remember how I applied it before in the past and most attempts with painting hairs looks hideous. So I'm likely just gonna go back to multiple brush strokes around edges again to create the same effect, less of a pain in my ass that way.
Definitely need to practice before I start working on anything postable again.

And yes, I am doing fine as far as my dad's death is concerned. I'm kinda surprised how well I took it, but like I said before I had already prepared before.
so yeah, ain't that a kick in the head.