It has been starting to be a problem with my dad with my WHOLE family. If you know my father he has been a short fused person and also dangerous. He totally does not understand things that are going on in American society and is SO obsessed with me- he just does not want to let me go, and is limiting my freedom. I know at one point, I was gambling, but I'm getting to the point that I'm going to noever go again for sure and to consider that anyone can get sick there. I was able to say that close to 1 and a half years, I did not gamble. Let's relate this over to what I have now-I am hired, and usually, I go do deliveries for https://www.goodeggs.com , a grocery company. At some points, I will have to stay after when there are shortages of personnel to deliver the goods to the customers. He has been angry at me for coming late-I can be out until 10 or 11, and I have called ahead, even! And just the night before I posted this journal, he practically came down to me when I arrived in my car and had me write the mileage down! (I feel he did not believe me at all!)

Also, he has been giving me stress- he puts me as a slave to to things when he could do things themselves-one time he did food for himself and my sister, but he did not do any for my mother and had me do it-he seems to have a huge grudge towards my mom-he has not given any gifts for either Mother's Day or her birthday. Also, he focuses SO much on the past, especially my negativities, and has had strange whims towards me. I had a degree in accounting, but he wants me to be a PLUMBER-he was mad that I used my own money to pay for my classes and take out a loan! Too, he downplays my bachelor's degree and does not consider my master's. Another time, it was difficult to get a job in the COVID age, and has shouted at me a couple of times not getting hired. He has fought with me many times, sometimes for no good reason, and it is disheartening. He even breaks etiquette-he humiliated me in taking dress shoes out of my packed luggage and I went to a funeral with sneakers. He even humiliated me in public in shouting at a mechanic and drove away with our car.

It is not just me that is affected- it is also my mom that is affected-she was punched in the eye one time, and also has made lies in front of public. He even pushed my mom out and slammed the door in front of her just to talk to me. Also, he has at one point when I wanted to have a family talk, he reluctantly left. My mom is being treated for an autoimmune disease, but at one point, he did spread the word falsely that she was faking. He does not even feel sympathy for her in times of trouble-he did say when my mom was on borderline in passing a test, when she was worried and crying, he did say, "Ah, you'll never pass!"

It is true, my mom was never happy in marriage with my dad, and I feel that my father has not raised me well. Also, he likes to criticise, and make people mad. It is not just my immediate family that is affected, it is also his siblings- recently, he fought with his brother at my grandfather's funeral (lucky I did not attend- I was in school.) Also he had problems when he was younger, sometimes his sisters would hide a fork in their shoes to defend themselves. Well, this has rubbed on to his siblings-one has criticized me for being in the FF'dom when I was vacationing in Montreal. Another was gambling uncontrollably, and many were spreading lies and stretching truths. To refer back to the funeral I attended, one saw me differently- I transferred a kiss from my hand to a gravestone, but that person saw me as putting my LIPS on the gravestone, like I were bending down to do it!

Really, if it is not reason enough to try to move out, I do not know what will. My mom was feeling so sad during marriage, that it was this week that it was the last straw-his erratic behavior in marriage and even in gatherings where at times, he gets drunk has led her to say that enough is enough. Even I feel that this is the last straw, and I feel that he is an abusive man in the family. Though he has not done so much towards my mentally handicapped sister, it is still significant enough to say that he has done some harm to her. I could not see him trying to improve as he is stubborn and would like to be deviant. I have seen that he doesn't trust me, but it would be vice versa if he would see me as a child in his eyes, and that he does things that are wrong in public, especially when my mom and I say to him that it is not right-he even does it anyway to get under our skin.

As it is that he does not have a sense of humor-he picks what would be humorous, it is he who is against me being Cory when I fursuit- twice, he has seen it and was mad and shocked to see me fursuiting. He even had a long talk with me on why I'm a white wolf and to even go as far to say stop. My mom did not say this. Evidently, if I do show Cory to any of my father's sibs, they would react negatively-I won't be surprised.

It is a feeling that I will go as far as saying that I don't want to have that last name anymore if he or his sibs make me really offended. My mom and I can't bear having to live with him another year, and it will be clear that we'd be happier separated. Divorce would be the last thing on my mom's mind, but it could happen. It would be the best time to say that I will have to be completely independent. I think me moving away would make me set myself for life by myself and to have a happier life. My mom will help, but I think that I will do it now, and despite that I have my handicapped sister to take care of, I will find a way to take care of her. I will take the lead and improve on myself so I can enjoy life better and embrace the FF'dom a whole ot more.

Enough is enough. If you ever want to know how my life has been a living hell, I have taped my dad shouting with me for 4 hours straight while I have been searching for a job in COVID-if you want to hear, you can request it. It was THAT terrible. You should be my sib and see his behavior.

In the upcoming months, I will see if I can find an apartment for my mother and perhaps me. For me, it could be that I can live alone, but if I can't find anything, I will ask any SF Bay furs for help and perhaps room with you to hopefully cut costs or even have that opportunity to temporarily be a mate in the house while I find affordable lodging for myself.

I will end here, but it is clear that you know how my mom and I feel about having my father in our lives. So to go ahead and give a parting shot, I will say no longer "dad, daddy, pa, papa," or even "papi." I will quite a bit from Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 from the character Yandu near the end, to Starlord "He is your father, but he ain't your daddy." That would apply to my dad right now. Hopefully by the end of the year, but no later than 2022, I will embark on a new experience, likely alone, but AWAY from my father, absolutely. I won't invite him to my wedding if I find my mate, and he won't see my offspring.