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Moving Plans, Game Jams and Nonbinary-ness
4 years ago
So, big plans this summer:
In like two weeks from now, I will be on my way to live in California. The change on scenery and living back with my old roommate (and boyfriend x3 ) will be amazing for my mental well-being. I hate the pain of leaving my friends and family near me to move cross-country, but like what some of them said, "It's time for me to do something for myself for a change." And with how works been remote for the past... year and a half, employment is still a thing until either I find something better in Cali, or quick the capitalist game. The move is gonna be nice though, no matter how anxious (the top of a roller coaster time of anxiety, not the dread type) I am about it
Other things from the past few months, I participated in two game jams. Ludum Dare 48 and this past GMTK Jam. Happy to report that both games were a success, the first I was the artist in a team and the other was solo development. Both games resulted in around the top 7-ish percent of overall rating. Both making me content with the idea of exploring a more in-depth game project in my spare time. If curious about the games, find them here: Dwammings (LD48 entry) and Get Together (GMTK entry).
And lastly, about my nonbinary-ness. Been thinking on it for a few years now about how I feel about my gender. (Possible one reason I would be comfortable with a robot body.) Often I end with the thought of 'I'm a male but not a man'. Like, biologically I have a penis but I never felt like I needed that "man" identity. It's a reason why I keep my hair long, and possible why I was a mental mess the last time I had my hair short. The last time I was force to cut my hair, I cry in a bathroom for a good bit. It just been a part of me I suppose, just never sure about it. But, something more recent that bothered me the most about gender was when I played Star Citizen and was creating my avatar... and there was no middle option. I never felt so upset at a character creator when seeing it so limited to have someone in-between... I couldn't make myself and that was sad. And that just made it clicked in me.
But after all that, doing well and hope to provide an update after the move. :3
In like two weeks from now, I will be on my way to live in California. The change on scenery and living back with my old roommate (and boyfriend x3 ) will be amazing for my mental well-being. I hate the pain of leaving my friends and family near me to move cross-country, but like what some of them said, "It's time for me to do something for myself for a change." And with how works been remote for the past... year and a half, employment is still a thing until either I find something better in Cali, or quick the capitalist game. The move is gonna be nice though, no matter how anxious (the top of a roller coaster time of anxiety, not the dread type) I am about it
Other things from the past few months, I participated in two game jams. Ludum Dare 48 and this past GMTK Jam. Happy to report that both games were a success, the first I was the artist in a team and the other was solo development. Both games resulted in around the top 7-ish percent of overall rating. Both making me content with the idea of exploring a more in-depth game project in my spare time. If curious about the games, find them here: Dwammings (LD48 entry) and Get Together (GMTK entry).
And lastly, about my nonbinary-ness. Been thinking on it for a few years now about how I feel about my gender. (Possible one reason I would be comfortable with a robot body.) Often I end with the thought of 'I'm a male but not a man'. Like, biologically I have a penis but I never felt like I needed that "man" identity. It's a reason why I keep my hair long, and possible why I was a mental mess the last time I had my hair short. The last time I was force to cut my hair, I cry in a bathroom for a good bit. It just been a part of me I suppose, just never sure about it. But, something more recent that bothered me the most about gender was when I played Star Citizen and was creating my avatar... and there was no middle option. I never felt so upset at a character creator when seeing it so limited to have someone in-between... I couldn't make myself and that was sad. And that just made it clicked in me.
But after all that, doing well and hope to provide an update after the move. :3
I'm happy to hear you're doing well. As a resident of California, I want to welcome you to our state and wish you the best of luck settling in and getting started! You've got my support!
Good luck with the move! Something like a change of scenery can do wonders for mental health.
We'll still love you, even if it's from a distance.