I'm really sorry that you are feeling this way. You shouldn't believe something that big without having strong evidence that backs it. I don't know your family but it would be strange to throw you out for that. You will not put them in danger if you take the shot if she is right or if she is wrong but the reverse isn't true. Covid spread and effect on the world are even harder to disclaim than climate change at that point. You can also ask your friends to see if it would be possible to live with them for a while. Mostly to ease your mind and also because, from that statement that you made, it really feels like you are living in a toxic family but I might be wrong. Maybe that's just an isolated case as I don't know you and your family well enough to say. If you want to talk about it more or want more support you can reach me on telegram or Discord. Don't isolate yourself. Reach for people that you know care about you. You won't bother them. They want you to feel safe and to be happy.

I will probably, hopefully not be thrown out just for that

But it's difficult to co-exist with my mom at times
Just because she seems to latch onto all the internet memes, but believe that they are true ..... Without fact checking because they have provided some vague proof and apparently that's enough for her 🙄

I could provide you a list of all the shit I have to hear from her lol

Definitely get tiresome and sometimes toxic from the interaction I get with my mom
Thankfully because of my close friend, I installed a lock on my room door for some privacy time.
Can't stay with friends as I only have one or two closest friends who live in the same country.
The rest of my friendships are online...

Well as for telegram, discord and other places
Just because if this shit, I've found that I just lock myself in room to socialize with my friends more
I am glad my closest best friend is there to keep me sane from my mom's bizzare weird meme beliefs
But sometimes it just gets to me and I keep overthinking things over and over and over again and it gets me so anxious, that's just awful.

In a way, I made this journal to hopefully see that I am not the special snowflake with problems and that people can back me up on my beliefs as well
Because otherwise I feel like I am very different in my family

The amount of life insurance payouts would bankrupt the world, and if they didn't get their payments they'd start riots and overthrow the government. I don't think that's anything to worry about. Antivaxxers will literally say anything... Even that you get Magneto powers from your shot, lmfao.

I myself have a severe anxiety disorder so I know your pain but I'm at the point where I just stopped caring. Just keep living the best you can and take each day one at a time. We all gotta go eventually, it is something that is always on the back of my mind but I try not to let that fear get to me.

I'm a virologist who researches Covid-19. That rumor is false.

First of all, the rumor is attributed to virologist Luc Montagnier who is already under fire for a lot of controversial statements that he has made regarding SARS-CoV2 as well as his promotion of homeotherapy and ideas about radio waves in bacteria. Many scinetists think that he has been losing his touch for decades. Even so, Montagnier has not gone as far as to say people will die from the vaccine, much less billions of people. 2 years is a completely random timeline in immunity, as it takes only a few months to develop all the memory B- and T- cells that last decades. There is no reason why death would occur in 2 years and not 5 months (which is how long I've had the vaccination).

Secondly, it is nearly impossible for 2 billion people to die from a disease. That is about 1/3 of the world population, and that ratio has never been reached by a disease on a pandemic scale, even the bubonic plague in Europe during the Medieval Period when people had far worse available treatments. The same goes for vaccinations. That is how populations work in public health.

Finally, there is no reason why the governments of all the world, including ones that all hate each other, would team up together and jointly decide to kill off a large portion of their population, and not only that, decide to kill themselves first with the shots. Furthermore, this false scenario will kill even people who haven't been vaccinated, because it will crash the world economy and infrastructural system.

The real question is, WHY are these rumors coming up? Someone benefits from these stories, and I think it is some false prophets who have their own agendas to spread. Snakeoil salesman, cultists, homeopaths, all like to get people to distrust others, but trust them. As someone who is ethinically Chinese, there is already documentation that the communist government of the People's Republic of China is spreading rumors like this in other countries WHILE trying to get people to vaccinate in their own (and additionally the party is stockpiling Western vaccines while leaving the homemade vaccine to the general population).

This pandemic has revealed a lot of ugly things about people throughout the world, and you need to be careful who to believe. The government? Social media? Family members? Scientists?

Get the vaccine. Your mother would be foolish to kick you out if you get it, because then it means her belief in being correct is stronger than her love of you, which would be a very dangerous scenario regardless of this specific case.

Hon, PLEASE find a way to get away from your mother. That kind of talk is borderline insanity and it's clearly having a super negative effect on your mental health. :<

I know I should get away, get my own place and such
But I'm stuck
Sadly the job I like doesn't comfortably cover all the expenses if I were to get a place of my own ...

Yeah sure, one if my friends said "just open a patron, or do commissions to reach your goal to live alone"
Yes that's a nice idea but .... unfair, don't you think?
Idk it feels like begging, and I am definitely not the greatest artist out there to even try something like that to have an extra monthly income

Another suggestion to live alone would be to get a roommate, yes that would work
But I feel like that might not work for me
Just because I need sleep during the day, I work at nights, and on my days off I'd be laughing and having fun with friends online during night hours
Not to mention, I own a parrot and that boy is loud.

Yes I'm making excuses .... maybe
But I have been thinking about this myself over the years either way
Things might not be able to change for a few more years, but hopefully I find a way to have my own place.

Thankfully my closest friend is who keeps me sane
I don't know what I would have done if it wasn't for him to be online when I need him.
Hopefully one day I get to meet him face to face.

In my friends words "don't listen to your mother, she's batshit crazy and lost her marbles"

My mom has become a joke amongst my friends

But at times it just gets to me, which makes me overthink things over and over again and that makes me anxious.
Thanks for your concern though
I really appreciate you taking the time to read my journal and still keeping in touch~

you say you don't think you're the greatest artist to be able to do something like patreon, but do it anyway?
like, people are afraid to write because they think their writing sucks, but you have books published like the "galloping abs" and there really poorly written garbage out there.
put yourself out there, if that's something you WANT to do.

Sorry to hear you're dealing with toxic family, hope you can figure a way o ut soon.

I understand it's easier said than done, and I know making that leap is terrifying but it's less horrible than you think. Focus on what you'll be getting out of going through a tough situation like moving out.

As far as roomates go as long as you're up front about your work schedule and the bird I don't think you'd have THAT much of an issue getting a roommate that would be okay with all of that.

Of course! Just worried about you, friend.

I'd say what Clostridium said makes more sense. While getting the shot is your choice, for you, it will help protect your family. You needn't tell them you got it, necessarily. Where I live there's a population that's adamant about not getting it, but many people still got the shot.

You know her best, what her reaction would be, and what travel restrictions exist where you are. Maybe you need a reason to stay elsewhere for awhile, with friends, or a small group thing you could all do, to get you out for a bit...and so you can get the vaccination and not show a sore arm when back. Vaccine or not, it sounds like you need some time away from her, regardless.

Wishing you the best, Bonkers!

Yeah definitely the claims she has been throwing around have been reposted a lot and it almost seems like she believes in any memes that internet throws at her.
When I asked her ... would you get a vaccine yourself, she said "no, absolutely not! No one will get me to get my vaccine shot, I might take it if I'll be held at a gunpoint"
uhhh ... okay mom...

The issue here is that her weird spread of lies is always believable because first of all, it's my mother, second of all, it's someone you know, third of all she works in ambulance and lastly, she is stubborn and sounds confident which is harder to argue with her in that way.

I probably, hopefully won't get thrown out, but I am glad my close friend told me to install a lock on my door, so I can have some privacy.

Thank you for your reply though!!

Honestly I would probably just sneak the vaccine and not tell anyone if it'd bring bad attention to me, got a small fever? must be bad nights sleep. Bicep hurts? Probably just pulled a muscle. Crazies theories shouldn't have the power to control your health. Also Im personally convinced it's partly thanks to west-unfriendy powers that these rumors are spreading, more disorganized and conflicted EU surely would please Putin for one.

Put your trust in God and you won't have to worry, no matter what happens.