i'm having a bit of a health scare, and it's really hard to get a proper diagnosis or treatment since it's not something super obvious from the outside, and actively life threatening, like my arm being cut off. REALLY HARD. i've done my research and have a pretty good idea of what it is... but that doesn't really help since doctors try so hard to get me out of their offices as fast as possible and won't listen to me when i describe symptoms. ('well it can't be THAT because you aren't whining like a little bitch!' i have a high pain tolerance so i don't tend to cry even when i break bones, which apparently means that nobody believes me when i tell them i am in agony and something is wrong)

it's pretty scary, especially since it seems to occur when i'm most deeply asleep, which also happens to currently be when i am home alone, and there isn't a hospital near enough that my anxiety-ridden-self can drive to on my own. basically it's either heart attacks (two so far) which, i do have a bit of a history with that (kroger brand icecream cookie sandwiches apparently trigger heart palpitations for me), or, if i'm lucky, just acid reflux, which i've had before and feels nothing like this.

i went to urgent care and they couldn't find anything, but their machines are kind of basic and like i mentioned, they were trying to rush me out asap and thus did not do an adequate job of telling me what they were doing or figuring out what was going on from me. i have an appointment with primary care for tuesday, but i'm not hopeful considering how i was treated there last time i was having heart trouble, and how inconsiderate about my pain and pushy about me undergoing a specific, completely unrelated physical test that i CANNOT have due to trauma they were.

so yeah. just venting a little and putting the situation out there in case i disappear. good thing i finished all those artfight revenges, at least! folks on my commission list should be able to get refunds through my husband if necessary.