Or at least it felt like it. Last night at work I kind of...fell out. Twice. And had a panic attack. And an emotional break down. So, yay me. All jokes aside, it is just a sign that it is time for me to leave the restaurant industry. Don't get me wrong, I still love cooking and make treats, but in this current climate, I can't do this anymore. I've been working at restaurants for nine years. nine years of my life spent getting burned, cut, broken, doused in chemicals, friggin abused by management. I've wasted so much of my life and potential just working these jobs. Last night hammered home that maybe I should stop. Honestly, I have never been more scared. Well, I have, but this was a new fear. I just felt and saw what my life was going to be if I stayed there any longer. I just saw myself, losing bits of who I am and who I want to be to the job. Not just at that location, but any restaurant for that matter. I know how I am and I know I'll get sucked into it. Trapped in that endless circle. Of hurting myself and not really stopping to care for my own wellbeing. Falling out last night at work proved that...I need a break. I need to leave the restaurant life for good, so I am. I don't know what or where I'll go from here. I have some jobs I can do, stuff to pay bills and survive, and I'm okay with that. I'm still working on trying to get my candy apple business off the ground as well as get back into writing. I just...I needed something to push me in this direction. I just wish it wasn't so painful. Then again, I'm a stubborn ass of a girl so...yeah probably needed this to happen. So...that's the update for what has been going on with me. Hopefully next time I'm on here I'll be posting up something a lot more positive.