The reason I wasn't really uploading anything here for the past few weeks was due to the fact I was working on a story trade, and discovered that my writing skills have in fact stagnated as it was very difficult to accomplish. Regardless, I still managed to finish it and hopefully I'll fall back into creating more babyfur pieces.

I've been thinking more about my life. I've concluded is what I've really wanted is to create something that I can publish and be remembered for, that was why I became a writer, to leave something behind. Of course, with my declining interest in my novel, I'm not sure if I should continue on making it my magnum opus. Yet, with all the time and soul I put into it, I cannot simply abandon it either. Deciding what to do with it will be one of my challenges.

I feel as if I've been goofing off more than making progress in most of my creative properties. As mentioned, I used to take a higher dosage of a medication that helped me focus, then went to a lower dose and it hasn't been the same. I see my mental doctor next month, so I do have an opportunity to switch back to the higher dose, but many of my friends claim that I should simply try to improve my focus myself, something much easier said than done.

I think it's because the brain stops developing after age 25, and since I've past that age, my skills have degraded. I know several friends who are over 25 and they still make fantastic creations, I just wish I was one of them.

Anyway, I feel as if I've wasted so much time goofing off rather than creating a piece that will leave my mark for people to see. I feel like a failure sometimes, but when I try to get back on track, I still lack focus or enthusiasm.