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Update 8-13-21
4 years ago
Hello, everypony!
Well, I figured the few of you that read these things might be curious as to why I haven't been talking at all recently here, posting anything, commenting, etc. Long story short, I've got a lot of work to do on myself before I can really do much.
I have tried to get work in the city I live in now, and the one place that I could work here is one I can't work at, as I just turned 20, and the minimum age is 21, as the company is based in Maine, and Maine says you can't sell alcohol until you may drink it. It's a dumb rule, but I have to wait, and on top of that, my mental status has been... well, let's just say my father has requested that, once I am on his insurance, I go to the hospital for a while to finally get the help I've been trying to get for the past few years. I'm pretty sure it'll help, and my dearest love also is urging me to get the help I need on top of it. The biggest issue now is getting my medicaid ended in other states, as the pandemic made it incredibly hard to terminate medicaid, for obvious reasons.
I also have been back to sketching here and there, and am hoping to write a story or two for myself about Koroti, my new primary OC. (The balloon protogen, but the lore takes place well before she gets balloonified)
I now also have a chromebook, and tried to fix the laptop again to no avail. I tried a new SSD, tried new RAM, tried jiggling things about, but it really is the CPU that's dead on it, so until I get my old stuff back, I can't touch it.
I also found out yesterday that my mother has been stalking me for the past two years. She has continuously paid for my SIM card as to have the power to check call, text, and data search records. She has been checking my banking logs, and reading all of my mail she has going there, she even went to the extent of having my stepfather (whom is dead to me) go to the bank and take primary ownership over my bank, as he was a co-signer since I was 16 when the account was opened, so he had the power.
Needless to say, finding out that I've had her stalking me, using cell towers to check where I have been, etc. has been terrible for my already terrible paranoia. Not to mention, she's not the only one keeping tabs on me. I know another person who knows about this profile who is more than likely reading it to ensure I don't tell people what he did to me, too. Seriously, this stuff is driving me insane. I kind of want to take that SIM card, light it on fire, grind it to dust, and then burn that dust, then delete all of my social media platforms and start over under a new name just to get the creeps away, but I know that they'll find me again.
It's funny how the ones on the internet worthy of trust are the ones I've never lived with, and the ones I've lived with are basically what happens when you take evil and put it in a body.
Anyway, sorry to go on a rant there, I've not been able to write in my diary lately, as my father has completely covered the only table in his apartment with car parts and power tools, and I don't want to make him mad by moving it all around, and writing on the floor hurts my chest. Bad.
I'm planning on getting my first reel of photos developed soonish, as soon as I have money for it, and I'm halfway through my second reel, so when I get them developed, if they turn out good, expect to see a few. I am thinking about posting a photo or two from my trip to the ocean yesterday, but I probably won't since it's within a few miles of where I live, and I'm rather paranoid for no reason.
I think that's where I'm stopping myself today. Not too sure if anyone will read it, and sorry if it's not great to read. Have a great day.
I have tried to get work in the city I live in now, and the one place that I could work here is one I can't work at, as I just turned 20, and the minimum age is 21, as the company is based in Maine, and Maine says you can't sell alcohol until you may drink it. It's a dumb rule, but I have to wait, and on top of that, my mental status has been... well, let's just say my father has requested that, once I am on his insurance, I go to the hospital for a while to finally get the help I've been trying to get for the past few years. I'm pretty sure it'll help, and my dearest love also is urging me to get the help I need on top of it. The biggest issue now is getting my medicaid ended in other states, as the pandemic made it incredibly hard to terminate medicaid, for obvious reasons.
I also have been back to sketching here and there, and am hoping to write a story or two for myself about Koroti, my new primary OC. (The balloon protogen, but the lore takes place well before she gets balloonified)
I now also have a chromebook, and tried to fix the laptop again to no avail. I tried a new SSD, tried new RAM, tried jiggling things about, but it really is the CPU that's dead on it, so until I get my old stuff back, I can't touch it.
I also found out yesterday that my mother has been stalking me for the past two years. She has continuously paid for my SIM card as to have the power to check call, text, and data search records. She has been checking my banking logs, and reading all of my mail she has going there, she even went to the extent of having my stepfather (whom is dead to me) go to the bank and take primary ownership over my bank, as he was a co-signer since I was 16 when the account was opened, so he had the power.
Needless to say, finding out that I've had her stalking me, using cell towers to check where I have been, etc. has been terrible for my already terrible paranoia. Not to mention, she's not the only one keeping tabs on me. I know another person who knows about this profile who is more than likely reading it to ensure I don't tell people what he did to me, too. Seriously, this stuff is driving me insane. I kind of want to take that SIM card, light it on fire, grind it to dust, and then burn that dust, then delete all of my social media platforms and start over under a new name just to get the creeps away, but I know that they'll find me again.
It's funny how the ones on the internet worthy of trust are the ones I've never lived with, and the ones I've lived with are basically what happens when you take evil and put it in a body.
Anyway, sorry to go on a rant there, I've not been able to write in my diary lately, as my father has completely covered the only table in his apartment with car parts and power tools, and I don't want to make him mad by moving it all around, and writing on the floor hurts my chest. Bad.
I'm planning on getting my first reel of photos developed soonish, as soon as I have money for it, and I'm halfway through my second reel, so when I get them developed, if they turn out good, expect to see a few. I am thinking about posting a photo or two from my trip to the ocean yesterday, but I probably won't since it's within a few miles of where I live, and I'm rather paranoid for no reason.
I think that's where I'm stopping myself today. Not too sure if anyone will read it, and sorry if it's not great to read. Have a great day.
Also, have you tried sitting against something soft with your knees up to use as a platform to write in your diary? You won't be able to do it long, I suppose, and it'll get uncomfortable a bit quickly, but it might work for something.
I just realised I went on a tangent but yeah, there is no place I could do that here. I am working on cleaning the table, he's building the parts into the car soon, and he's having me move all of them into the closet since he has a bad hip, and doesn't really care that I'm weak AF.