I think you can already guess where this is going.... if not.... stick around for the ride.... or don't... I don't care.... it's all the same to me anyway....

I'm driven insane by the events that have happened in my life.... People continuously destroying me in whatever manner possible.... primarily by abandonment, neglect, ignorance, and abuse.... just to mention a few.... people act in these toxic manners and make excuse, even make bogus claims like I'm demanding them to do anything or whatever you can think of.... and yet they have the audacity to do so, let alone to claim themselves as my "friends"...? People are happy without me, getting mates, getting full fledged families, yes, I'm being narcissistic about this, but this does still bother me, and I'll explain why right now; I'm no less a living and breathing being like yourself, and the rest of your wretched race, yeah, I'm talking about all you "humans" behind your screens! I'm no less a "human" like yourself, so I deserve to be treated as such! If you think you're all entitled to what you want, then that makes ME entitled, too! If moral failings disqualifies me of what I'm "entitled" to, then NOBODY gets to be entitled, simple as that! But back to the matter I was discussing prior to this short rant; Everyone's getting mated and loved and is happy without me, and that bothers me! It makes me feel left out, and that's not okay! This should give you an idea on how bad this is, if people won't RESPECT me, THEN THEY SHOULD FEAR ME!!!

Maybe I deserve to be happy every now and then! Maybe I should be allowed to be petted like a good boy every once in a while! Maybe I wanna get hugs and kisses every so often! Maybe I should have the ability to have mates and support from friends! Maybe I deserve some special "rewards" for doing certain things (You know who you are! Yeah, I'm looking at YOU! Maybe not looking, but more rather GLARING at you!)! Maybe, JUST MAYBE, I wanna be spoiled rotten for once, see and learn what it's like! This maybe a foreign concept to you retarded fuck shits, and you know who you are, but I actually had it ROUGH growing up! You may not understand, because you actually had it pretty nice! You had proper parents who loved you and cared for you the way you needed them, so you don't know what it's like for your needs to develop into something much deeper! You don't know what it's like to crave a DEEP kind of love!

For the rest of you damned asswipes out there who don't understand the level of bullshit the US has in store, healthcare ain't free! Nor is therapy! And to give you an idea on how BAD it can be, my dental appointment to get my wisdom teeth pulled, if I went by myself and if my parents didn't cover my ass with the healthcare THEY hold, would have costed me... wait for it.... FOUR THOUSAND US DOLLARS!!! Yeah, I ain't making that up! FOUR! THOUSAND! That would GUARANTEED put me in crippling debt! So imagine what a therapy session would cost me! I'll give you a hint, it's in the same range! So not only would therapy be too expensive, but I've taken some time to learn more about myself, and have come to the conclusion that I don't need it! There's nothing I can do on my own without having had proper time to recover with friends!

Which sadly means I have to make a new family, but oh! That would be just too easy for me, wouldn't it? You all just HAVE to push me away, believe LIES, attack me, abandon me, neglect me, and treat me in as inhumane a manner as possible! But when I defend my good name from the likes of YOU fools, that's just me being a monster, innit? Me being a monster is me gaining VOID MAGIC AND THEN KILLING EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU AND MAKING THE WORLD BURN IN THE PURPLE GLOW OF ALL THE VOID FIRES THAT WOULD MEAN THE END OF ALL OF YOU!!! THAT!!! Would be me being a monster.... That doesn't go without saying that I genuinely would take GREAT pleasure in killing some of you... And you know who you are.... if not, you BEST hope that A), you're not on my enemy list... and B), that I don't get void magic.... because when I do.... pray to whatever god you worship that you get some form of mercy from me... but alas.... I've run out....

I know what you're thinking.... What happened to me being suicidal? Oh I still am... I'm too insane to think about killing myself.... Ridding the world of the entire populace seems more appealing to the insane majority of me.... which is pretty much 100% of me... Littering every street with bodies... bones... blood.... you name it.... seems pretty nice to me right now.... of course having that in the form of vent art would be nice too... but guess what? I can't draw! I don't know anyone who likes me that would be willing to draw it! I suck at 3D rendering! So whoopdee fucking doo! Having it in practice is fine too!

I'm sick of this world... The wretched race that inhabits this place doesn't deserve the privilege of being here... The scum of all that is the life here should be reversed... and no amount of therapy will ever bring me to recover.... I have every doubt that anyone will change.... even if everyone changes for the better.... I doubt it'll work anymore.... I came into this world a welp.... I'm gonna go out either the same.... or a monster.... either by suicide.... or having been killed by someone... probably the police in that manner after I've had a small filling of blood and death.... only by sating my hunger for blood and death.... only by having rid this world of this wretched breed of toxicity.... will I come out of this... or who knows.... maybe if I'm plenty convinced... or if things do start to turn around well enough and quickly enough.... maybe my brakes can be reached.... and then I can be brought out of this insanity episode....

Bah.... Like that's ever gonna happen.... the admins are probably gonna demand I delete this journal.... which... I can promise is NOT gonna happen.... I'll probably just edit it to get them to shut up and stay a few thousand squared miles away from me... but if things turn around.... I'll delete this journal for certain... until then....

See you around...