I'm... Pulling the pieces back together.

I'm inspired to write this because of someone else's self serving, whining journal that I read with just a little bit of schadenfreude inspired pleasure.

So where to start... I unravelled with Kodey's passing. I won't even try to hide it. For a period of probably 3 months I just shut down. Nothing interested me and I cleaned out my friends list cause when you are in emotional agony over a loss and people are just unwilling to even spend some time playing a game to distract from that was just too much to ask apparently.

But it's been almost 8 months now.

I decided that me going out and constantly seeking others is a lost cause. All I seem to dredge up is the worst in people. I have idolized characters and creators that are seriously flawed human beings with unbelievably selfish attitudes and expectations that you cater to their every whim.

Worse yet are the droves of people who selfishly demand you indulge their pleasures and only want a quick thing and no long term relationship. I'm not asking for romantic involvement but goodness, it'd be nice to do more than a quick one and done RP and maybe hang out once in awhile. Play a game or watch a movie? XD

Work is going well though I can't go into very deep detail given the NDA's I've signed but I recently moved to a MUCH bigger place! I'm so happy with it and I'm working on converting the basement into a gaming room and it's going okay. Money is tight but that's normal of any move really. I can tell you the cats love all the room too and I've never seen them so happy. They're alternating between running around and playing with the toys I keep spoiling them with and being lazy and finding new sleeping spots!

I've done away with my drunk POS step father. I blew up on him when he decided to pick on one of my sister's and he told my mom 'he never wants to speak with me again' which hey, I'm totally fine with. The man destroyed two little girls futures because he's an alcoholic piece of shit. I have no sympathy for him.

The States makes me nervous at the moment. With Delta raging unchecked all it's going to take is one other firm disaster in the south and a lot of state governments are going to unravel and it's still hurricane season :/ I hope you guys get through it without another Katrina but I don't know, shouldn't even be a thing.

I am second vaxxed and I'm happy to say there seems to be some degree of normalcy returning here in my corner of the world which I am pleased with, but a little worried. I think caution is still the word of the... Well, year.

I'm trying to get writing again. I keep getting hit with flashes of inspiration write a couple sentences and lose interest. It's more than it was even a month ago but I have a long way to go before I am back in business I think.

So yeah. The future is looking bright! It's been a hard year. One of the absolute hardest. I'm coming out of the deep dark place I was in and I'm being generally more sociable, though I still have days where I just don't really talk to anyone.

I just keep pushing on as always. I come to appreciate Marcus Aurelius and his brand of stoicism just a bit more everyday, though I think the good emperor certainly has me beat in his unflinching dedication :P

The world is hard. There's no question about it but you gotta keep going. It's just gotta get better and it seems some of the dues I've paid are finally paying off.