I've been fighting against a very debilitating clinical depression for a while now...these past few weeks affected me particularly hard and i felt so terribly sad...i didn't think i could do anything--it's like my energy was zapped out of me, and nothing i derived joy from before seemed to get me back up again. I feel specially bad about commissions because you are always ultra nice and patient, and deserve better...i deserve all the blame. Back in the late 00's/early 10's, i was able to do commissions, ychs, with a faster turnout...this is my only source of income, and i felt i could still do it back at the time i accepted your commissions, but then i started having different medical problems. If i could give back the money, i would, but out of respect, because i would still do the commissions, i don't want anybody to be mad or feel disrespected. I took up more than i thought i could chew, because i used to be able to do it, and it frustrates me that i can't seem to do it anymore. It is also my only source of income, i do not have a proper job because the economy here is terrible, and the welfarre that i received i am giving it 100% to my mom (it is not much because it has devaluated greatly and my country, argentina, has a huge inflation problem), we're several people living in the household, 3 of us are on medications for different conditions, so money is a problem and i get sad when i think about it, and about how helpless i am being towards it (10 to 14 years ago my plan was to get psych help, get a standard job, any job, i had signed up for school janitor, but the demand was very high and i never qualified) and help somewhat (i thought i could save, and maybe that way i could have a retirement...the *insane* amount of inflation and devaluation, would have made it that my money is worth peanuts 10 to 15 years down the road, of course, i never expected that back in the day...1 dollar was like what, 3,50 pesos in 2011?Now it is nearing 200 pesos per dolar...and salary is generally, i am guessing for low end jobs, $15,000 pesos?If you account for medications (and that's with my mom's union medical insurance, i shudder to think what full non-discount price is...possibly half the salary?) 1 kg of meat is $700 pesos, vegetables are fruit are, crazily enough, often more expensive than meat (?!) so good nutrition becomes impossible.

I just wanted to explain, why i am so disheartened and lost so much hope in life, and quality of life in general...i never for a minute did not want to continue with commissions or anything even close ike that. You helped me and are on my mind often.

I used commission money to buy a lot of peanuts and seeds which they say cotain a lot of vitamins and nutrients, soup, noodles, rice (which are cheap, one of my neighbours was selling me 3 packages of noodles (1,5 kg total) for $100 pesos (is it like, 60 cents of a dollar or so?), i also managed to replace my broken monitor and tablet, it was all thanks to you.

I am very grateful.

I don't know when i will be able to do all the commissions...i do not have an estimate time for finishing anything...i am incredibly sorry, i am very unstable, this is all my fault and responsability. I am very ashamed and not proud at all. But please know that my intent is to do so...

I wished to start a like service, like patreon, because employment is at an all time low, i have not support from the state/government other than my dissability welfarre which has devaluated to the point it is not significantly helpful, but that didn't work out...I was thinking of putting my email here or asking if anybody was interested in donating to me (you absolutely don't HAVE to tho, please)...but would that be ok?I feel embarrassed about it, it is a desperate and tricky situation for me.