really not a lot to say, i jst updated it and changed some info a tiny bit.

hopefully i will get around to redoing my folders so that things are nicer later

So, the last like..... maybe 4 days? I have been working on a HUGE art project.

I am half done as of now, and I will tell you. The size for that file is like 260mb.

It's stupid. But my first time trying something of this caliber, so I might have to find some ways to make it.... more digestible?

Anyways, I hope it'll be liked as much as I am kind of having fun working on.

i will be making a new foulder that will have all my charcter i own, one's i've created, adopted, or were given. hopefully this will not only help me showing my charcters to others, but give you guys something fun to browse through as well.

i will also be uploading a lot of pictures, so hopefully it won't be too bad to see them come

so, i have had a picture and story together for a while, but i had been to nervous to show it off. i feel the idea behind it is too much?

this is the picture in question
https://twitter.com/Toodumb2die/sta.....70491067125761

here is where you can decide, based on the picture, if i should post it.
https://twitter.com/Toodumb2die/sta.....70636500492290

if people do want to see it, i will be sure to post both things here. if not, i will just put up the picture.

https://twitter.com/Toodumb2die/sta.....290850304?s=19

I am trying to be more interactive with people, artwise, so every thousand tweets, I am trying a raffle.

I don't have high standards, so do as you like, all I ask is that, you comment on there to enter.

Feel free if you want to show it to friends or whatever. It's fun to get a chance to draw something for a random winner

I guess, I don't know. I'm open for commissions. I know it's not top tier stuff, but I am always grateful to those who think my art is worth paying for.

https://www.furaffinity.net/commissions/2dumb2die/

So, I'm out of town, and of course absolutely forgot my charging cable for my drawing tablet, so I failed this and will never be able to make up for it.

Don't worry though, atleast I brought the charging cable for my Nintendo switch.

If you are ever curious. Feel free to let me know, or ask. I think it's super cool when someone wants to buy something from me.

To make it easy as well, if you're ever curious, you can check my commission tab, or just click here. https://www.furaffinity.net/commissions/2dumb2die/

so, i talked with a friend a while ago about if i should do something to organize my crap. we came to the conclusion that i should, so i got around to making them.

i only went alittle bit through my gallery, to start the stuff off atleast, but now it should be alittle easier for those who want to look for something specific?

so, i had been thinking for along while, my art isn't worth what i think it is, so i've decided to change things up. especially since i am only really doing digital art, it might be time to not only update the examples, but remove the traditional part i won't be doing.

https://www.furaffinity.net/commissions/2dumb2die/
here are the prices and what there is now.

So I am slow when it comes to procrastination and posting.

I have also tried to challenge myself to get better and learn digital art as well by drawing atleast one picture a week. I always show this on Saturday on twitter.

So yeah, if you guys like my shit, I am trying to be more.... productive? Proactive? With art.

so hey guys, i don't feel like i am on here much. i am on my phone, but i don't seem to be too active. i check things out alot, but not on my pc so i don't post a ton of art on here.

on twitter i post more art since i can take a picture of it and say a little thing and post it in seconds. so i might upload things that aren't commissions or finished ieces normally or often, like my sketch dump.


so, yeah... eh, stuff and words and other things that might be interesting.

you guys be sure to keep well while you can atleast.

i felt like i had gotten a bit better so i replaced more of the pictures with examples i have.

i did also change prices based on how i feel my stuff is worth and how much effort i put into my work now.

so hey guys i want to lighten things up now that i am feeling better?

what are weird habits you have when you eat? for me, one thing i do is, if i eat tacobell, i unwrap my things(not weird shaped things) and i spray the sauce into it before wrapping it back up. it's kind of weird to think about, or probably to see, but i do it because it is the easiest way to get sauce into every bite.
i'm a person who likes clean hands, so regardless of what i eat, i always wash my hands when i am done, so it's probably less weird for me to get messy hands when i eat.

how about another things? what weird things do you find attractive in a chacrter?

for me, i sort of super dig a charcter with a prostetic leg. i guess because you look cool, have tons of leg options, and can still do everything eeryone else can.
well, with acceptions to like needing to have your one leg positioned different ways compared to a whole leg.

so for the longest time, since i declared one of my top favorite artists dead to me i've lost my motivation and drawing was har. i couldn't think of ideas, couldn't draw them and damn well could get myself to even start them.

a few months ago i got back in touch with an old friend and i couldn't stop myself from darwing. i was doing like 2 pictures a day. but then that only lasted like a few weeks before i went and ruined that friendship like i have so many others i cared about. guess i didn't care enough if i did what i knew i would always do and ruin everything i work for.

that was like a few months ago, but since then i think i've drawn one picture and one sketch. other than that i just sit here with a sketchbook in front of me and i just sigh at it.

i didn't just lose the motivation i had gotten, but i lost more than i had gained. so i feel like i should just give up on art. which is sad because of how much money i spent on all the supplies i have.

so, you know? i never thought i would ever be like the peoploe that post a ton o their crap on twitter, but i actually do that myself now.

it's... easy to do it, i crap out what i wanted, then i take a picture and post it with my phone. after a long while i might decide to put something on here. so i guess if people wantd to see more of my art, it's probably a good idea to check thre every no and again, especially if i haven't postd anything here in a while.

i've been thinking about some people that are doing sort of self destructive things just so they can avoid being sad or maybe dealing with their problem. and i want to tell them that they shouldn't so bad. but people now a days really don't want to hear that they have a problem, they just want you to embrace and accept it, like that'll make all your problems go away.

then i sort of thought, i guess i care too much about people, and taht that thought might be one of the factors why i ruin most of my friendships, aside from not seeing any worth in myself and wondering why anyone even likes me at all. i don't honestly know how i have friends when i can't even compare to any of them.

so, it sort of makes me cry so hard whenever i think about the friends i did have, before i ruined the friendship. i guess i bond with people way too easily, so i guess when i think someone is such an important, special person to me, they might not even consider me a friend. i know i'm a horrible person because the same thing happens everytime i do something, so i can i have an positive thoughts about ymself when i am never proven wrong? but it hurts when i lose a friend that i cared so much about, or when just one day i find out that, my friend has started ghosting me (never responding to anything i ever say regarless of wether they are online or not) or just quietly removing me from their friends list. i nkow that might sound creep but i like to look around, see things people favorite or just look for interesting names to see if they have really cool art or something. or if it's on a list with icons, that is way too hard to miss.

it really demoralizes me knowing that i guess people don't think i'm even worth the time to just tell me straight up that they hated me and that they never want to see me again. they never would then. if people just told me to my face that they don't want to be friends with me, then i'd be gone that moment and they'd never have to put up with me ever again.just think how simple life would be if you approached your problems head on.

there are a few people i miss so horribly. one had gotten rid of me everywhere, and another i personally reuind that friendship where i was told never to show my face again. and i cry about them whenever i think about them, because they were soime of the most important people i could say i know. i may call people friends, but i don't feel like i should do anything more with them until i meet them in person, because then i feel like i am allowed to use their real name or something. it's like... i don't know. me trying to respect them or something i guess.

i would love to know what other people are afraid of, why it scares them as well. i love to learn things it helps me... be smarter?

but here are a few examples.

one thing that scares me is spiders, i got the fear from my sister, and i have no idea why, but they just make me tense up so hard. i want to sort of scream but i can make any noise.
that aside, ther was a huge wolf spider one time and i was somehow not over come with fear as i scooped him gently onto a plate with a fish net, i walked him peacefully outside and left him on the fence, i was surprised that it never freaked out with being pushed into a cage as i walked it outside.

another thing that scares me is losing friends or making them angry. if i get to a point where i consider someone a friend, wether they think of me as one or not, i really super carea bout you. it makes me sorry that you have to put up with me, and i get scared to want to show them anything since i feel like i'm just showing off, being an ass, or just making them have to deal with stuff they don't want to. i'm afraid that things i do or think make people angry and want to just ditch me as a friend. i've lost friends before from things i've done and i've made people angry as well, and it's some of the reason why i am so sorry for everything i ever do, even just talking to someone for more than one day in a row. i can't stop being sorry because i've always been told that what i've been doing just amkes everyone unhappy, so how can i see any worth in myself compared to the amazing, important people i know and care about?

one last thing i can think of that scared the literal shit out of me comes sort of with transformation. i'm cool with werewolves or changing race/species to something else. but i rememebr reading a comic where charcters turned werewolf and then started to turn into just animals, i never read to the end, but it really freaks me out when a charcter loses what they were. not like i guess hypnosis so they act like the thing, but they literally become it. like i love situations where it is inevitable and grim in the end, like dark souls, no matter how hard you fight you will never be able to escape becoming the things you fight. but what terrifies me is losing yourself, you turn into an animal and become the animal, you are not you anymore and never will be. that is way worse to me than dying, or turning into a zombie or something. because it's like you died and stoped existing. becoming something and losing everything you were is one of the most terrifying things i've run into. it bring me to tears just thinking about how horrible a fate that is. you didn't physically die and come back as a soulless body, but you just stopped existing all together.

cool, hey, guess what? i'm gonna bitch about old wounds becuase it just pisses me off the way that person acted.

i'd brought it up several times but i've always deleted the journal when i felt better because i didn't wan tto just be a whiny baby all the time, or when people came by to this crap hole.

but basically, you know how during the election people lost their shit and some people went into hiding for days, crying constantly becuase they thought the world was over?
well, i cried that day too, not becuase of the results but because of the way i was treated that day. i was so out of it, that the ground was breathing wherever i went and i stuck it out because it wasn't making it hard for me to do anything.

but the basis of the story is, this person i thouht i was.... 'friends' with, i was on good terms with them, but i never honestly considered thema friend. they were just a friend of a friend. i've ruined friendships with people i really cared about, and most people i consider a friend i care a lot about, maybe more than i should. but that person was friends with someone that made me something special, and i lost their friendship at some point, i don't know why or how, but it was one of those things where they just delete you and you are left wondering what happened to them on your friend's list.

but their friend basically the day of the elecetion thrashed my ass, they talked scircles around me, fuck, they even made me wish i would just kill myself that day. i'm not a good talker and i'm not very social so i'm not able to come up with on the spot things sometimes. so they just beat me and kept going.

the next day while i was still realing from all that emotional shit, where i said the ground was moving, i went back to them and offered to make up for what happened. i don't know, maybe i'm fooling myself, but if i WAS insensitive, don't you think i wouldn't be the one to try to make up after a fight and keep on good terms with someoen i thought was kind of a good person?

that aside, they were the worst, most toxic piece of trash i'd ever run into. you get good people and you get bad people, but they were toxic. every time i tried something that might have been rique? they always were on the dot when it came to telling me i was insensitive, i was a supremycist or however you spell that, that i was just a bastard. really it was just abuse thinking about it. but they always kept going on and on about how i'm a horrible person, and i wouldn't be surprised if they had given me a label at one point just so they CAN treat me as bad as they wanted and feel justified in doing it, because they turned me into an object of agression, they were able to avoid thinking of me as a fellow human being with feeling and ideas different frgom their own. and if i could strangle them, i would fucking love it, because with them out of this world, it would be a better place for people who want to enjoy it and what they have.

at one point they had told me that "just because i'm on a list called 'friends' doesn't mean i AM your friend" and honestly, i wouldn't want a toxic cunt like them to be my firiend. i don't stand for abuse against people who might be different in any way to me. it's funny i guess how they got so full of themself that they thought, that i had considered thema friend. i herdly talked to them, they were a friend of my friend. they were never my friend, i never even told anyone about them o theit art, and i sure never used the word friend when i described them. it just pisses me off thinking that, this person thought they were so important to me that i thought they were a friend. they probably wen tto bed that night smiling, thinking they have done a 'great justice' in this world. the only thing they managed to do was hurt another human being, something that i thought was what they bitched at me about? respect rirght? so how come they diod everything in their power to make me the enemy that deserved to be hurt?

guys, sorry for this, but thanks for getting here. friend or not, you are really REALLY nice people and i hope you can get some nice karma in your lives soon.
but the moral of my story is, regardless of what someone thinks, wether it is with against, or just different from your own, respect them as a person. if they aren't hurting you and have no intention of doing so with their comment, converstaion, or arguement with you, don't flip your shit and have a mental breakdown. talk to them like a person, and while you may not understand or agree with them, just thank them for givine YOU something new to thnk about. a new angle, a different mind, some other way to think about something. just ebcause you two may not agree 100% of the time does NOT make you enemies. and some people are just too shallow to be able to respect each other as a human being, and not all these stupid labels that do nothing more than seperate one another.

so for the rest of the month i'm gonna have my sketchy colors $10! if you want a second charcter it'll only be another $5.

i would love to try to make art something that i can do more, soi would love to do soemthing i feel has nice style to it, can be done fairly easy but can be finished to look fairly nice!

if you guys think my stuff is worth it and that it'll be a fun idea, i'd LOVE to get to do more art for people!

here is some of what it can look like!
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/24520306/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/24204808/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18885442

i don't know. i'm a huge cry baby, i like to complain about things? when something is bothering me i have to get it off my chest.

what's kind of been bothering me lately is i guess the mood killer i've had happen often?

basically, i guess i should start, every one is busy, everyone has their own life, i can't always expect people to talk all the time, i get that. bunt it kind of hurts when i try to do something, like draw art or talk about things in a conversation that sort of lasts like 10 minutes at most? a month maybe?

it realy kind of hurts my mood when i had motivation to do something for someone, or talk about something that is giving me inspiration to want to work, and then i get dropped? like... this isn't about a single person, hell. if it WAS one person, it wouldn't bother me so much. but it sort of makes me wonder if i'm the reason for when they sort of just stop talking halfway through a conversation and then never get back to me until i just have some other idea months later or something.

i don't like to bother people, and i feel when i talk to them i am bothering them more than enough. so when i guess i get ignored after a while, i kind of....don't want to talk? i don't try to talk, i lose confidence in talking, i sor of get afraid to bother trying to talk anymore because, it's sort of like just out of nowhere without any warning that they have left, wether they are still online or not.

i don't know how much rambling i am doing to try to get this off of my chest so i can feel better. but i guess the short versions is that i sort of lose interest in trying to do things with someone, or for them, if i sort of just can't ever get through a full thought/phase/idea with someone? i mean, why should i keep trying to do something if i'm just left hanging on an idea that never gets and sort of feedback for me.

well, how about anyone who is unfortunate enough to read this journal? are there things that discourage you from trying when it happens?

just need to keep track of what i've promised for a while right now.

first is  deermary - bones doing something nice
and finally i need to draw elysium for nightmareeclipse on Da

then i need to draw many of my characters to give them an updated picture for my foulder of charcters.
i need to update/change/add any info to charcters that are older/out of date/don't have any bio
finally i need to draw charcters taht don't have a fave but have a bio

i think other than this i'm pretty much open for commissions if my art interests anyone, or whatnot.
any info can be found on the commissions tab since i have no way to make a sheet to link people to.

so i had this stuck in my head because i've been playing a game.

so if anyone cares, i wouldLOVe to know your charcter, their race, class, how the are speced and all that fun jazz!
then we can make fun of each other because of how they are made or whatever.

MINE is a female charr warrior who i speced for damage with buffs to increase my attack as well as having runes that increase the duration of my damage buffs as well as some to recover health on crits.
she has amazingly worn sandy/gold armor with soft, wooly looking underarmor with a peg leg wielding my favorite khrysoar! and a lovely little fervid censor that i've left unmodded since i got it way back when the stalwart event was going on. i'm so proud of it because i had gotten it at like... lv 75 or something?

let me know all about your charcters!

so, i feel like i should do something ncie. and i want to hear what other people think. i'm intersted in hearing who you like, look up to, or who inspires you. any reason that makes you smile when you think about them. or see when they are doing well.

for me i think the biggest thing i could ever say is  outputt being one of the most important people i know of. not only are they an amazing artist, a super nice person, and fun to talk to, but they also made one the the most important things to me. what they had done was give me something i can connect with i guess. before i met them i honestly really had nothing going for me. but i ran into their art and fell in love with it. i think it was the very first thing i bought from them was when it actually started where they had offered to make me a chacrer of my own.

so scribble came from them. they are like something so precious to me after the time i had gotten to have her. which is funny because i gave them almost any freedom they wanted to make a creature. all i really did was refer them to the thing i had bought for a friend and given a few colors. i don't honestly know where i'd be if i never ran into them. and i know for a fact i wouldn't have something that i can use for people to recognize me since when i started online i knew i shouldn't ever just tell someone i don't know everything about myself. i kind of do that though now... i don't give my name though. i only do that for people i really feel like they deserve to know. someone special.



:another one i can think of off the top of my head is  innermostenergon i knew them before they changed accounts. but the name red always ressonates with me. and god damn is red one of those special people. they are so cool and fun, and i wish i could talk to them more instead of being the socially invisible person i am. it makes me feel bad when i have people i care so much about. but then am to anxious to talk with them more. so then i go on sort of feeling like i'm ignoring them because i just can't think of something worth talking to them about.

others i can think of are  ajna and  chandraken the first is an artist who's stuff i've always loved. and back when i was an awkwarder creeper, i think i also fell in love with my first charcter, bisa. from then, i've run intpo more charcters that i am obssessed over just ebcause they are amazing, or beautiful, or just something clicks and i fall in love with them.

the second person is one i've known for a long time. i think before i came onto this site i watched their art. i still feel guilty about what i'd done long ago. i, at one point, sort of tried to cut off contact with them after making them so angry and i could never say i'm sorry enough for that day. but what made me sort of cry a little more than i did was when they accepted my apology. it might not have been a big thing then. but it was so important to me to know that someone i had cared about said it was cool, or okay again.

so. of so many people, these are just a small few that really get my label as a friend. tehy are people i care about and wish i could support them as much as i say i would liek to. they come first before i do. and getting to know them as little or much as i have is the best thing i could ever hope to have. you guys tell me what amkes your world spin. i want to know what's important to you.

recently things have gotten to me and i haven't been able to gfet it off my chest. first, i feel like i ruin every friendship no matter how close i feel to that person, i know this because everyone i cared about ditched me or i did something to ruin the friendship. so i know that sooner or later i will lose every friend i will ever make.
second is that i feel like i guess i'm just the enemy of everyone. like since i graduated literally everthing has gotten worse. people hate eachother for what they are and people don't even want to get to know someone unless they fit an extremely thin and specific quota. if you don't agree with them, than you are the enemy and you don't deserve to live and all that stupid shit people with no tolerance acn deal with.

a while ago i'd had someone that got me into joining some place, and i don't know how long it had been like that, but when i signed on one day i noticed they were there, so i tried looking for them and foudn out that i guess we aren't freinds anymore. i avoided sending them another request, i already know the answer. same thing happened with aonther nice person on there a while before that. i'd asked a friend who also knew them and they just said i should ask them. i'm not going to prusue or push into somewhere when i already know what the real answer is. i doubt it could have been a glitch because noone other than those two have dropped off my list, so i guess i'd done something horribly wrong in every way.

anyways, that crap aside, how about you guys? anyone feel like they are sort of in the wrong place based on what goes on around them?

also if you guys want free art be sure to tag the end of your sentence with " ,ya know!"
leave the ref for your charcter and an idea about them, and i'll get to do whatever i want whenever i feel like i'm good enough to draw.