I will be closing this account soon, after I've backed up all the stuff that I've posted here. Due to IDIOTS being IDIOTS, I can't log in to FA without IDIOTS being IDIOTS, and it's getting rather frustrating, so I'm just going to go elsewhere, where I'll have more control over who says and views what.

I know you cocks are watching me. I feel special now ;3

Cock is nice. Very nice. Almost too nice.

It's just a bit intriguing how something can be so damn hard, yet so soft to the touch. It's a sexual contradiction, with a
sweet scent, the aroma of arousal and lust.

(Have a look)
(Go ahead and touch it)

In the heat of the night it hangs tenderly,.. always in wait of the wandering touch of a hand or a tongue, and when 'he' sleeps, it points to the night sky.

(You know you want to taste the fruit)
(Have a taste, would you?)

I doubt I'll ever find a normal relationship or friendship in today's generation but the more I try to reach out to the people around me, the more I'm disheartened by the idiots and cruelty of the society that I seem to have been born into, since everyone just seems to want to use me for the moment, and then when they have gotten what they wanted, they want nothing to do with me, despite the fact that they say I am 'hot' or 'amazing' or the fact that I just had my skills in action, rendering them into a moaning mess at my mercy, but then again that's probably my fault for moving that fast with them.

This has happened too much and as it is, I don't know if I can bring myself to say 'no more', since it's hard to say no to something that can't bring harm to me, well.. nevermind.... it can bring harm.. harm to my heart, harm to my mental being, but until someone comes along that will put forth the effort without expecting me to do what they want, when someone bothers to accept me for who I am instead of what I am physically, I'm just going to have to ride this out. I'm alive, but I feel 'frozen'.

Maybe my life will be much better when the sun rises again..

I just spent two fucking hours working on my myspace.

http://www.myspace.com/_fearthetiger

It's all like.. ME and stuff.


I'd also like to inform my 'watchers' here in Fur Affinity that I could almost classify myself under the 'burned fur' category, but I can't on the basis that I still post nude photos of myself to Xtube.

If you don't already know what the term means, then I will explain it in short. Basically, "burned fur" roughly means that an individual among the furry community got tired of the over sexualized ideas and members of the community and decided to stand against it.

I, myself, am all for sex but not in the sense that I have to make it part of every aspect of my hobbies and/or life. I don't understand cyber-sex, and the art is sometimes nice to look at but I don't worship it. What drew me to be part of the 'furry fandom' was the idea of fantasy and characterization to a real life animal. As time went on, I realized every day more and more just how ridiculous people were, even in this kind of fandom.

I've got a long detailed version of just about every incident I had during my interactions with online and physical furries, and each situation was substantially more inconvenient than the next. If you would like to read that, you'll have to email me, but let me remind you that it's a range of emotion, from pent up frustration to general anger and so on... so that's your fair warning.

Pretty much, after I moved into the new apartment, me and my room mate decided to cut off any contact with furries, because in the end they were just causing more problems.

In any case, that chapter of my life is pretty much over. I wasted the past couple years of my life on stupid fucking drama and I hate it. Oh well. I mean, I did gain a room mate and a life in Florida, but was all that drama really necessary?

Yes, or no. That is the question which I will never be able to answer.

I know you probably think I'm a slut or a sex-addict, or whatever the fuck else for posting myself online, Hell you could even call me narcissistic, so I'll just clarify some shit right now.

Let me be the one to admit that I may not be the best looking male of my generation but damnit I know how to fuckin' deliver myself to my photos.

I know critics exist for a reason but there's been alot of hateful comments and/or emails given to me in the past year or so since I started posting my photos online, and I have come to the point where I simply embrace the negativity.

I guess it helps to keep me in check with the reality that nobody is the epitome of perfection.

I'm just glad when people can look at my photos and analyze it for the creativity of the shot instead of who or what is in the shot. That's more satisfying than someone going "OMG UR SO HOT LEMME SUCK YOU DRY". not that I have a problem with being sucked dry...

There are also people that say that I am posting myself online to compensate for the lack of attention I'm being paid in real life. This is far from the truth. I am, in my own belief, an artist , and this is just a portion of the many things that I do that are artful, and I'm not forcibly using it to get laid or land myself a boyfriend.

Though I would like to remind you that even though I am lonely ,i refuse to attach myself to a screen name like most furs and peopel seem to do nowadays. A screen name can't be there in the morning to say "Good Morning" and see you stretch your rested body to look in your eyes and know that you woke up to see the glistening morning sunlight in their eyes just one more time.

I don't know what else to rant about in this post but eh, it's not like I don't have alot on my mind anyway :Dd

To those that saw my previous (now deleted entry) :

I'm sorry for the emotional outburst but I've got weeks upon weeks of frustration built up and I just had to let it all out at once. I just couldn't keep quiet any longer, and what you all saw was an overblown version of how I feel personally to a major extreme, and I wasn't showing a single shred of it in real life to anyone, not even my closest friend who made me promise I would talk to him if I ever had something that extreme on my mind, but instead I exploded on my blog like a damn idiot child because it felt good to vent. It felt good to let all those thoughts out at once in this massive explosion of thought and anger and it was like a text version of all the pain and anger and frustration built up inside.

So in regards to the situation with my room mate and that fucking wanna-be dragon, I've come to the conclusion that I'll never be able to get along with someone like that dragon. It's not probable, and it never will be a reali because I can't be friends with someone who's ideals and mindset with my closest friend are all generally stupid childish ideas brought on by countless roleplaying and typefucking sessions, that which took away from the friendship I had with the said close friend, and even moreso, issues arose that led to some severely upsetting situations, and it can all be linked to this dragon, wether or not it was his intention his general existance is the sole reason why anything has happened in the past few months, and I can't honestly say that any of it was 'right' or 'wrong' but things 'could' be better if the dragon would've never come into the scene in the first place.

As for the relationship between me and my room mate, things are cool now as long as I can keep a cool head. We still argue from time to time about stupid shit but in the end we're the best of friends and as much as I 'cry wolf' on the whole idea of moving out, I really do want to spend the rest of my life with him involved in some aspect, as a best friend, as a guide, a shoulder to cry on, and so on, and the time we spend together,inside and outside the apartment, in the present and past, has been such an impact on me and I want to change so badly to fit his desires for what he sees in a person in a 'stable' friendship but in the end I'm still human and I'm allowed to have errors and mistakes in my thought process. He made a promise to me to improve my life, and for the most part he has. I'm living in Tampa, I've got an awesome friend (him), an awesome dog, my own bedroom with my own computer, camera, etc, and none of it would've been possible this soon without his encouragement two years ago, and I have to find a way to thank him for that, but I guess my general friendship is a thanks to someone like him.

So now that I've had some time to think about all this, I'm going to end this little post, and let you, the reader, think about the fact that while I may be frustrated as all hell, I'm still not as alone as I'd like to think I am.

So I had a bit of an eerie moment earlier at work when I found out that one of my co-workers had been dead for about a week now.

The last time I saw him he was joking with me, saying in his language that I was 'his bitch'. He was an older guy with a wife, but we still got along, even though I could barely understand him due to his thick Haitian accent.

What's the most fuck'd up part about this , is the fact that I seem to be the last one at Chili's that knows about it. I would've at least expected the manager that told me what he was saying in Spanish at the time when he called me 'his woman'. I don't know how he died, but I don't know if I want to find out either. All I know is that I overheard someone mentioning a funeral but I couldn't make out who it was for.


...and to think I'll never see him again.

In all seriousness it's only 'human' to have emotion, and if you believe you have to be devoid of emotion because you are under some strange belief that animals are everyone's friend and have no need for competition or emotion, then you are very mistaken. I may not be an expert on these things but I know that even your pet hamster is capable of hatred and happiness, so just deal with life and what it gives you and don't expect anyone to want to be a shoulder to cry on because sometimes you have to do things for yourself, and when someone feels the need to come in and help , they will. It's that kind of thing that helps you determine who your real friends are, instead of worrying about how many you have, you should be worrying about how close your values are with your current friendships. I once heard someone say "If you can count all your friends on one hand, you're a lucky son of a bitch"

Alright, so yesterday I was forced to sit through a session of Monopoly, but that wasn't the bad part. The bad part was the fact that one of the other players decided to have his cellphone playing music while we were playing this board game, and to be honest it wasn't necessary at all, and it was also rather distracting because all of the music that was on this guy's playlist were songs that are constantly rotated on the current top 'rock' radio stations, so I made it a point to make fun of it a little bit without actually doing so.

I mean, you can only hear "Bat Country" by Avenged Sevenfold, "Diary of Jane" by Breaking Benjamin, and "Land of Confusion" by Disturbed before it starts to wear down on your very being, but anyway I sufficiently pissed off this guy while still playing Monopoly (I went bankrupt so I lost.. oops), but he didn't quite seem to understand the concept of where I'm coming from when it comes to the world of music.

To be honest, I really do not like the radio. I used to listen to it all the time back home, but even then I was just recording stuff to a cassette to listen to whenever, and it wasn't the 'popular' shit that I was recording. Hell, even before I started really LISTENING to the radio I was into stuff that wasn't really rotated in the top 15 slots of the pop rock radio stations, or even those stations that proclaimed to be 'metal'. Even today I've come to realize that the radio is very limiting when it comes to the current music scene, considering they've had the same fucking playlist for the past 5 months on the local rock station, and it's not even GOOD stuff they play.

You wanna know what I consider 'good'? I consider it 'good' if its a song that portrays a band's traditional sound, instead of some crappy ass rock radio single where they compromised thier sound or lyrics just to get some radio time. I mean, Buckcherry has always had questionable content in thier lyrics but I'm really getting tired of hearing "Hey!!.. you're a crazy bitch but you fuck so good I'm on top of it" every fucking hour of the day!

Though I will admit there is 'some' talent out on the radio these days, its just a problem for only 15 songs to be rotated every other hour, but what's an even bigger problem are the pricks that listen ONLY to that, and consider anything 'underground' to be 'stupid angry screaming', when they haven't even really listened to anything but the fuckn' TOP 15.

I can't say they aren't stupid for sticking only to that 'scene' but in all respects they are like the fuckn robots of society if they just simply refuse to break off of what they are given, instead of going out to find something for themselves. Hell, around the time I had gotten access to the internet, I had literally forgotten about the radio, and my ears had been exposed to over 100 new bands within a year's time, and each one had something different and unique, and their ideas were much more refreshing than the mediocre over-produced crap that I've heard lately. I mean, props to the studio for creating a nice clean sound but when a band performs live after pulling that shit off, it doesn't translate over very well, thus the performance is a let-down, but it won't matter to the robots since they will be too busy drooling over the 'pretty-boy' or 'pretty-girl' image that most of the new bands today portray.

Nobody said metal had to be sexy, nobody said it had to be pretty. I mean, look at Strapping Young Lad, they are all ugly as shit but did that stop them from making damned good music? HELL NO IT DIDNT! This is where the phrase 'sex sells' comes to mind, and after seeing how the local music scene has been full of nothing but pin-ups who write songs about sex, I can pretty much say it's true as can be, but hey, we're all fucking perverts so of course we're gonna like it!


So I don't really have much else to say on this topic so I'll just conclude by saying that if you're into the mainstream radio scene and refuse to look beyond it because you're comfortable in your little chair listening to the same 15 songs every day, then you have no right to degrade people like me who have opened up their ears to the underground scene.

... and I find that it just causes more trouble than anything. :'(


Seriously people, why is it that everyone I am after is just out of their fucking mind? I mean, one minute they are begging me to be with them, the next they are off with some random fuck they met a month ago on the internet, despite the efforts and intimacy I've shared with said individuals, and each time I was regarded as 'insane' for having the same exact feelings they are bragging about getting from their significant others. What pisses me off even more about all this is that they will always say "I like you alot, we get along , etc ... but we could never be in a relationship", when not a week ago we were wrapped around each other in my bed sheets covered in each other's juices in a heated moment of lust and passion, calling each other beautiful, then he has the audacity to tell me there's someone else soon after... that was just a stab to my heart and soul when he said that... Now he tells me that he 'really likes me' when I am in a good mood, and yet we still flirt about and I just don't know what to think about all this.

Can someone advise me in how I should go about getting past all this?

I realize the past few months I've wasted my hate on something that's rather pathetic.

..so in order to make the mods happy I've moved almost all of my RL photos to my Scraps folder because apparently it's against TOS or some bullshit like that.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised by the fact that no matter where I go, there just has to be some random prick that wants to shove it deep and fuck my day up. I don't particular coming home to see that I've got someone discussing me saying the things they have, whenever there's tons of others on FA doing the same things, if not worse.

I'm not going to scream "Fursecution" on this but I will say that I'm getting really tired of the bullshit that people in this little community give me. I incidentally have made it to the point where I can't remove every photo of myself from the Internet so I can effectively hide behind a fursona the rest of my life online, but that's okay, because I shouldn't deny who I really am no matter what.

In any case, I HOPE the mods appreciate the effort that I've taken, and I'm going to try to keep things somewhat 'sane' on this site, despite the random string of comments in my Shoutbox. That stuff is okay, but that I at least have my own control over.

In other news, Krystal is back and fine, but she goes back on Thursday for a checkup.

That's all for now :3

1. BIG FACT : My husky is having some major problems, aside from the usual of being a brat ; She's nothing right now. Her nose is dry, a little cracked and it sounds like she's a little congested. She's also skinnier than she used to be, and she hasn't eaten anything since yesterday around 6pm. Today when I took her out to go pee she was walking oddly, and didn't even seem to care she was outside. Now she's in her crate laying there, completely still. Usually she's wiggling about and just being a general pest, but not today. Hell, when I was holding her in my arms she was just limp as could be, but then I noticed she's also randomly twitchy, so I'm dreading that she might be developing seizures or something. Why could all this be coming about? Who really knows. She was hit by a car before we adopted her so there might've been injuries to her brain that aren't repairable, even with time. I'm really scared for her right now, and all I can really do is hold and comfort her, hoping she gets better until I can take her to the vet to see if they can determine what the problem is.

2. I was paranoid earlier at my job because one of the cooks were harassing me and comparing me to the new dishwasher that works the days that I don't, essentially trying to convince me that this new guy was my replacement. I freaked out when he said that and just had to track down the manager to ask him what was going on, and he said that I was fine, and that I wasn't being replaced, so I'm hoping that he's telling the truth. I really don't like job hunting. That whole 'biz' is just not for me. I don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon, and the job I have as a dishwasher isn't something to home and brag about but hell, it's money.

3. Personally, I'm starting to wonder what's wrong with myself, because I've some some intense mood swings as of late. The other day my room mate was talking and joking with me about something, then randomly comes to me and says "So why can't you be like that all the time?" I stopped for a second to think about what he had just said and then I realized that I kind of phase out the times that me and him have gotten into fights. When I'm in a content mood where I can talk and laugh with him, my mind completely erases the existance of the bad times between us. It's rather unsettling that I can switch moods so drastically like I do. I was playing Xbox for a few hours, then my room ate got up and said one wrong thing and suddenly I become this emotional wreck , contemplating life and why I'm so alone, so on and so forth. Then there's the incident with not being able to sleep the other night. I wish I could understand why things are happening like this.

im lonely but i refuse to attach myself to a screen name like most furs and peopel seem to do nowadays. A screen name can't be there in the morning to say "Good Morning" and see you stretch your rested body to look in your eyes and know that you woke up to see the glistening morning sunlight in their eyes just one more time.

Alrighty, so I figure since everyone around me has lost their fuckin' mind, I'm just going to have to start burning bridges, starting with those that want to pretend they are close to me, so if you even so much as want to convey the idea that you give a shit about me without meaning it, you can fuck yourself.

I've blocked the necessary people on FA and LiveJjournal (so far), so you know who you are.


Thank you and goodnight.

So I went into a channel on IRC, a chat server for furries called Anthrochat, and immediatly I got attacked by some furs for posting my nude pictures somewhere, they called me 'skinny ugly with bad hair' , you know the usual bullshit.

Well, you know, after being called that your entire life, then to have a whole legion of people on xtube and the like call you 'fucking hot' it all starts to make sense...

I think i understand what the problem is. they are jealous, but of what? The fact that I have a thin but toned frame? I'm nothing special. Yea I'm working out but it's mostly so I have a healthy image which will hopefully help in my endeavors of self-satisfaction and a social life, because in this generation people 'have' to have 'nice bodies' in order to be accepted. It's a sad truth but whatever.

No, I don't think I'm perfect but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop doing what I do. I like to express my sexual nature through my photos, and there's no crime in art, unless of course I were stealing something, and as far as shameless-self photography goes, there's nothing I can steal.

I could hide behind a sexy fursona like most of the furry fandom but as it is, I don't really have any sexual drawings done of myself as a tiger that I could just flash everywhere, so instead I've got my photos and that's generally accepted by the general audience of the Internet since not everyone enjoys seeing a naked anthro-tiger stroking his harbl.

I mean, anything that could be drawn would most likely just a tiger version of myself so there's no comparison or contrast to be done, since I'm obviously in good shape in real life.... but whatever.. right?

That being said, I think I've made my point. What are your thoughts on this?

decided against not sleeping...


new stuff up though

so here's my idea for my big youtube feature : I'm going to record my behavior over the next four days. The catch : I won't sleep, but I will maintain my eating and bathing habits, but I also won't be shaving my facial hair until the 3rd day.

...that someone out there is spying on my blogs, and reportedly informing close friends of my posts, trying to pass me off as psycho or something. I know it may be offensive to people that are close to me, but I have every right to post whatever I want to in my own fuckn' blog.

It wouldn't be my blog if I were restricted from my own thoughts, now would it?!

I'm pretty much to the point where I am almost going to restrict the viewing of my blogs, down to a 'friends only' basis, which requires that I go through my list to sort out the ones that could possibly be trouble but then again, it's an issue when I'm just making public entries anyway.

So I'll think about this and if any proof of 'spying' shows up again, I'm going to restrict the viewing of this and every other blog I own.

Better yet, I'd appreciate a comment or two so I know who my real friends are on here.

sup furries?

furries.. lol..

...lol furries..


nuff said

I was introduced into the fandom in the latter half of 2004, by a friend of a friend who just so happened to be a kangaroo. This was while I was still living in Kansas.

Pretty soon I had taken hold of the idea of the fandom and became involved in it mostly because I saw it as an adventurous hobby/lifestyle. For the next few months I spent hanging out with the locals, attending meets, and whatnot. I had created a fursona based off my love for wolves, and a bit of an expression for my sheltie, and that's where "Devious Wolfie" came from.

Pretty soon I had been active on some sites, forums, irc chats and whatnot but people soon started to love to hate me mostly due to the fact that I am a 'camwhore' (their words, not mine)

Regardless of that though, I had made some friends in the locals, some lived about 15 miles away from me, and I visited them once or twice outside of the times there were meets, and I could basically say that there was no real drama until later when some guys took a 14 year old fur home one night and .. yeah... thats pretty much that..

Mostly online, I had dealt with alot of real freaks getting attached to me and I had just cut them off, because I wasn't going to deal with online relationships. I did upset quite a few people but they accused me of leading them on, but whatever.. their stupid mistake.

Later on, through the power of POUNCED.ORG I had acquired a wolf friend in Florida, and after one thing led to another, we moved into an apartment in Tampa, and tried the local furry community only to realize they were nothing but trouble.

We tried for a year to figure out the locals but we never really got anything but drama, as the Florida Furs seem to be made of.

After 2007 came around, I had developed into a 'new' fursona, a white wolf , an anthropomorphisized cocktail drink , Jakerz Inc, the Pina Colada Wolf. This came out mostly because I have a distinct taste for Pina Colada.

Somewhere in this point in time , I had been banned from most online furry communities, chatrooms, and the like because of my own stupid mistakes or habits, but more often than not the real reasons are usually a result of lies and shit that furries have tossed around, twisted and well, its just like highschool all over again.

In every sense of the phrase, my reputation in the fandom exceeds who I really am, and that hurts somewhat when people don't want to take the time to get to know the real me, instead they see what lies have convinced people to believe I am this person in the lies.

Fast forward to late April 2007, and I've come to a realization, that I am not as 'wolf' as I may think I am. After looking back into my history before furry, and even after, and looking at my habits and characteristics , I came to a conclusion that I was something more than a wolf.

So that is why I have chosen the tiger.

I do have a longer drawn out version of what's happened in my history with furries, so I will post a link to that if you want to read it, but be warned , its got so much drama in it, that you'll probably die from radiation poisoning.

http://fearthetiger.blogspot.com/20.....y-history.html


Anyway, thanks for reading this!

Furs? Are you there?

So I've got an FA account. RAWR! Oh, and in case anyone is wondering, the camera I am using is a Sony Cybershot.