Being that I have only attempted to date once in my life and it didn't work, what's the right way to go about that? I know theory and application are two different things there, but my actual experience is pretty limited. Right now I'm at a point where I'm sure I'll still fall on my face and make a fool of myself if I date again since it'll only be my second attempt when I do decide I'm interested again, but shit, amy advice is welcome. I already have some idea of what doesn't work, but I guess being told some advice will help.

Any chance anyone has room space available for mff? I'd like to head to that con again if possible. I was lucky enough to have an opportunity last year, but I know I'm not welcome in that group I went with last year anymore and I have to look elsewhere this year. Anyone that's got the room for me, I'd appreciate it.

Long story short, back in July just after AC, a friend of mine from Ann Arbor texted me asking if I could fill in a spot in a really cheesy music video. I figured I'd say "yes" to that since I had nothing else going on, and it's finally been put up online, so why not share my horrible acting display here :p http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eee4_QlJKEE

I didn't start dating until I was 23, and that kind of had me at a disadvantage compared to my straight/bi peers- most of whom by the time they were the age that I'd gotten started, have on average about 8-9 years of dating experience on me. Most know what to do to hold a stable relationship, how to properly communicate between each other to keep things chill and open, and how to manage their emotions so they don't get mad like a high schooler when things go south & what have you.

I guess at any rate, at least I should be thankful for what I've found out by now about communication being important in damn near any type of relationship out there, whether romantic or friendship or what have you. I've gotten plenty of advice in the past year and a half, and I know a lot more than I ever expected I'd have to know. I guess every bit of information counts in the end, really. I just wish I knew it all years prior by some other means, but I guess it's better late than never. I just wish I didn't always screw things up to catastrophic levels whenever I do things wrong for the first time because it gets considerably more stressful when I involve people in the mistakes I make. And boy, do I make mistakes.

Left Ypsilanti with  goldenwolf2879 at around 6am on Thursday morning and arrived in Pittsburgh at about 10-11am. Registration was pretty quick for me, but Goldy had to wait for the on site registration to open up. I spent my time wandering around the areas of the convention center that were open at the time looking for anyone I might remotely know through twitter, since I spend the bulk of the people I've met in the fandom are folks I've found on there. Spotted a  martinidog  dwudles  furrydeadlocked in the center before getting settled into my room and etc. On the way up to the room once everything with Goldy's registration was settled, I ran into  natsufox in the hallway on our floor, and  gw0lf and  twitchytigs and I believe  demonsnake was also there when I got into the room.

Honestly the bulk of my con was spent running around taking photos and palling around with folks I have known on the Twitters but haven't met yet. The bulk of my evening hangout time was pretty much spent with the roommates, and with  martinidog and  tigeronstarfire for the most part during the rest of the time, if I wasn't just running around solo with a camera, I was with either of those groups. It was pretty badass, really. I didn't do any panels or anything like that, though I did head out with Tiggs and Marty to the dance comp prelims on the 4th, if that counts! Also shout out to Sunday morning where I got to meet  iceylynx and  jirashi while hanging with Martini and Tigeron, and the five of us did breakfast together. Totally made the last day go out with a bang.

Overall this con kicked major ass, and I don't know my odds of going to another big one like this or MFF again without some kind of invite, since that's how I got to go to both. I would definitely be game for it again should the opportunity present itself, but who knows what's gonna happen in the future, really! Hope the con was as fun for the rest of the attendees as it was for me! I'm not sure what my next con will be, but I'll see you guys there!

alkdasnklan I've seen too many folks to really tag em all in a journal. :P

Been thinking back to how my bday went this year, and I think I just want to stay home that day for my 25th. No celebrating or silliness, no dinner or plans by any friends to visit me. I just don't really care for birthdays much anymore. 2013 was the first real exception in a long time. I truly enjoyed that day a lot, and I wouldn't want to get myself hyped up in upcoming years with promises for dinner or visits. You guys are awesome, but no one owes me either of those, even if it would be for a bday.

I've asked around a bit, but I don't believe I've really posted a journal about it yet. Are there any folks that'd have advice to give about AC? Like what events might be worth going to, or if anything's really worth planning? Wing the entire thing? I mean, what's a good game plan?

I have no debt, so I guess I'm lucky there. My plans for the rest of the year are bbasically this:

1:get to work full time and kick some ass at it. Now that I'm done with school, it'll be significantly easier to tackle the working aspect of my life in balance with all the others.

2:get a better understanding of people. i know i cant lay any real blame on other people for this, but the environment i had with my mom/aunt/grandma wasnt the best for understanding the wants and needs of other people. If II'm going to get a better understanding (and God knows I need it), then I have to actively work at that. This is mostly in an effort for me to relate better to others. To know when to act on things, amd when to back off on others. To have the right kind of behavior/etc. Things like that.

3:travel. I never got to do a lot of traveling before this year since I didn't learn to drive until recently, and ive enjoyed what ive done so far. Grand Rapids, Rosemont, St. Clair Shores, etc. I've always wanted to, and whether I have someone at my side for company or not, I intend to do more of that when I can spare the time.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5856385/ check it out guys!

Moving back to Ypsilanti soon because I don't feel much more of a family bond with my folks anymore, nor am i feeling involved in what friends have going on in town like i used to. It's kind of got me thinking back to gradeschool where I was always the odd man out on the playground. I feel more solace with the roommates right now than my folks Or aanyone else, really. Ac is on the agenda, and it'll probably be my first and last depending on how it goes, but i imagine it'll be fun to get to travel to the east coast again. It'll be the First time I've done that in ten years.

Got myself a job at a call center out in ann arbor. Looks like I'll be starting in late July officially. Finished up the paperwork today. Kinda excited about this. Looks like I'll get to explore a new city, too.

Where are you staying? Who are you rooming with?
has the room with some buddies of his. shot me out a message asking if I was interested in attending the con, and I'm curious. I don't think I'd have a shot at going if it weren't for this. :p Stuff's still up in the air so who knows if it'll all pan out, but I'm cool with it either way.

What day are you getting there?
Thursday most likely.

Day of Departure?
Monday

Transportation?
I'm driving by myself and meeting everyone else out there.

Who will you hang with during the convention?
Anyone I come across that wants to share their time with me. It's as simple as that.

Will you be suiting?
Unfortunately I don't own a suit to do any of that, so no.

What is your gender?
Male

How tall are you?
About 6' or so.

Are you taken? Are you looking for a 'mate'?
I'm single and not looking, and I really wish people would respect that I don't want any form of a relationship right now. I have a hard enough time making just regular friends, so why on earth would I want to subject myself to the risk of dating? No.

Can I talk to you?
Go for it. Just be warned I'm introverted as hell for the first few times I talk to you.

Can I touch you?
I still kind of hesitate with physical contact since November or so. I guess I'll leave it at "don't get cuddly with me and we'll be fine".

How can I find you?
Twitter, phone number if you've got it. Go for it.

Can I visit your room?
The room belongs to furrydeadlocked and I'm not too sure what his rules are.

Can I buy you drinks?
If I know you, sure. If I don't, then no.

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Hugging is fine. Fuck off with your snuggling.

Are you nice?
It's what I shoot for, but I guess I'm not as open about physical contact and such as I used to be. Folks started warming me up to that and then shit just went backwards.

Will you be going to parties?
Depends on who I run into and who welcomes me in I guess. I'm not actively seeking that out.

Do you do drugs/drink/smoke?
I drink a little bit.

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Yell something or shoot a message.

What/where will you be eating?
No idea. I've never been to AC.

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc.
Go for it. Company is totally welcome. It's all up to you guys that wanna tag along.

Can I take your picture?
Hah, My face will break your camera.

Whats your goal this year?
Just to meet people and get acquainted with how AC runs I guess. Same mindset I went with to MCFC. I won't bitch, moan, complain, or be mopey about how shit goes. Fuck that shit. I'll just go and do things. Mostly photo things.


Twitter: addersdaotter
FB: Adders Otter

Could always DM for a number. Go for it.

As far as local folks go, people that truely consider themself a friend should be involved at a level higher than saying hello every once in a blue moon. Come visit. let's have a lengthy conversation or some shit. Lets go out for dinner and catch up or something. Don't just leave it as "hello friend" and walk away. It feels fake when that's all I receive.

Really, I appreciate honesty and direct communication over beating around the bush. Beating around the bush really wastes a lot of time and doesn't help solve problems or make me aware of a damn thing. Got something important to tell me about my behavior or some such, or think there's something I need to know about local events and whatnot? Whatever the case, just give the information to me flat out from the start so I'm not believing something vague or getting lead on or confused. Thanks.

A few people have done this in the past few months for me, and I know you mean well, but please, when I say I don't want to date, I mean I don't want to date. I'm not ready for it right now, and just because me and some other person you know both like guys, it doesn't mean anything other than our sexual preferences are the same. If you tell me they like me, hey, okay, that's fine I guess, but I still don't want to date, so I'm not going to be a good match for them.

Right now I can't see a relationship making me happy. I used to think that. But really? I want friends. I want friends that really mean to be there when they say they will be. Folks I can share experiences with. Folks I can be there for when they're having a bad day, or might be able to help me out on my own grey days. I have a hard enough time making friends, let alone having the knowledge to make a relationship last (I haven't a clue how to do that), so The last thing I'd like right now is to date someone. Respect that decision For me. Friends are all I'd like to have, and all I need for now.

stolen from

- First, how did you tell your parents that you are a furry?
Eh, my folks don't really know much about it. I told my grandma back around April 2013 after taking some photos in the park with and and showing them to her. (from this day here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10471035/). After that, I explained the whole idea, and told her I was planning on heading to Philadelphia with at the time. She thought it was all kinda cute, so I'm thankful I mentioned it to her. She definitely liked the idea of me getting out of the house and traveling, too, given that I hadn't ever done it before. After AC got scrapped I managed to tell her about MFF just before she got sick, which again, I'm definitely thankful I got the chance to tell her about.


- Do your parents know about your fursuit(s)?
Gran knew what they were, but I don't have one. :p

- Does the rest of your family know about you being a furry/having a fursuit?
Na. I don't think anyone here would care, but I dunno, I just don't really wanna tell em I guess? A hell of a lot of my non-furry friends know, though. :)


- Did you explain/told your significant other?
Heh, the only S/O I've had to date was already part of the fandom. :p

- What did your friends say, after you show/explain it?
They make jokes about it here and there, but my best friend said "I kinda figured. It doesn't surprise me." after I told him. After knowing someone for 17 years I mean, you kinda pick up on major likes and dislikes.

- Did you tell people at your work/job about it?
Na, but I'm sure they wouldn't have cared. :p

- You have facebook, do you keep your furry/fursuit things separate from friends/family/colleagues?
I don't post my furry art to my facebook, but that's just me. I think putting a photo of furry art on my Facebook would just make it harder for anyone online trying to find me. On FA it's one thing, but I use Facebook to reconnect with old friends and such. If they see my name and a picture of my fursona instead of my actual face, they're likely to skip over it completely without knowing it's even me. That's just my take on that.

One of my wisdom teeth is coming in lately. Right now my thoughts are 1) It actually doesn't hurt or feel weird in any way. 2)Why is it even coming in? With all respect to myself, I'm definitely not wise by any means.

(Yes, I'm one of those folks that never had them removed. My family has always struggled with money and couldn't afford that kind of thing.)

I'm wondering if my lack of interning is going to make finding a job with my degree difficult. At any rate I just need to keep applying to places and see what happens. Eventually someone should take me in.

I just finished the last of my classes I need in order to have my associates degree, and I've been lookin for work since February in anticipation of this time in my life. I finally have something promising that I think I can get into in Plymouth, and I'm kind of excited and nervous at the same time. Its part time helpdesk at Plastipak. any experience is really all I'm after, so if I can get in, it'll be great to put on a resume.

Next week some time around the 30th, I'm going to be moving back to Canton with my folks. I miss them a lot, and I miss my friends in the area ( [happy bday, as of posting this journal btw!] ). Also, no offense to folks out in Ypsi, but I just don't feel safe out there. My folks can be kind of nuts in their own way, and that along with my grandmother passing were my reasons for leaving, more than anything, but looking back at it now, moving out was too impulsive. Hopefully I won't think the same about the move back.

My roommates out in Ypsi have been as awesome as friends can be, especially since they're the only folks that were willing to give me room space, but I think it's time I head back. Gonna cover the rest of the rent from Canton since I think it would be dickish to well, not.

Someone showed some interest in dating me the other day, but the problem is I've only ever taken one shot at dating before. I hesitated pretty bad the first time because I knew I lacked any experience there, and after taking that risk, well things didn't work out.

A public journal definitely isn't the best way to go about this, but how do I tell them I'm not comfortable with that after what I've already tried before? That I don't want to mess up what I see as a perfectly decent friendship given that I still have next to no experience, and I've already proven pretty well that I'll have trouble making things last for the long term? I mean Given that this is only the second person to be interested in me, I just can't see this working out any better than my first attempt at a relationship. My attitude doesn't help, and I know that, but I'm just not feeling it right now and don't know how to let them know without making things uncomfortable between us.

I'm somewhat interested in attending ac, but I hear it's so big that to make it one of your first conventions is kind of overwhelming. Some day I'd probably like to go, but I dunno when to make an attempt. Anyone have any advice for it?

I really regret that I never got to go to FCN, especially since a couple folks really wanted me to attend it, but at any rate I made the venture to MCFC somewhat because of that regret, I guess! MCFC was way more fun fun than I anticipated, to sum up the entire weekend.

I'd say I did a pretty damn good job loosening up and actually chatting with new folks, which has always been a bit of a weak point for me. The con made it pretty easy since I mean, we're all here for con related stuff, so there's common ground to build from right there. :P I'll have to give a shout to for being the first new person I met (registration line buddies), and helping me show a bit of an extroverted side with all the dancing (something I don't normally do. Ever.)! I got to catch up with folks I hadn't seen in a while, whether it be a couple weeks or a number of months, which was definitely needed. Shout out to and for checking up on me, and , and for Sunday night/Monday morning shenanigans that I don't think I'll forget any time soon- though that could be said for the weekend entirely. For me, that made the con go out with a bang, and I really appreciate it.

Next year I'm pretty set on volunteering. Mentioned it to a few folks, and I'm thinking that'd be a good idea.

Is it possible to live most of your life with negative personality traits going unchecked because you never knew they were there and then curb those consiously? I want to try and just be more of a carefree type b personality like my oldest friend, but I don't know if That's something you can consiously work on, or it's just something you inherit.

Living with my friends has brought to light all these bad personality traits I posses that my folks never pointed out that I even had. To just know that I even have them or exercise them from time to time bothers me, and I want to know what the best way to change or alter them for the better would be. to just list a couple: I panic easily over minor things, which doesn't do any good in most everyday situations, and I throw my opinion into discussion when it isn't the time or place for it. There's more, but I'd say those are two that bug me off the top of my head.

I'm still bad at it, but I recognize that I need to do it if I'm going to get anywhere.