As many of you know, my life has been… difficult the last few years. I’ve had it even worse lately and I’ve not been around.

My father, who I was quite close to and whom I’ve been helping to care for for the last 7 years passed away, and due to the president and his war on science, I was unable to take time away ti see him before he passed. I hate myself all the more for it. My life will never be the same.

I’ve lost other family members from the fallout. People who… turned out to be very unkind who I thought loved me. I was recently homeless this year, out of stubbornness and anger but still homeless. I don’t do drugs, never have, snd the stigma has followed me this whole year for living at a shelter. Not because I did anything wrong. But simply because I decided I wanted to be a scientist and try to help humanity.

Life has become… too hard… and it was already too hard before.


I know many of you have reached out worried About me. To you few I am eternally grateful. And to those who I thought would but never did… I honestly understand. We all have our demons and struggles. And I’m just words to many.


Thank you for those who genuinely cared. I don’t know if I’ll be back. Ever. But I appreciate you. I do. And I’m sorry.

I'm beginning to wonder if being alive is worth it if I'm always going to be sick....

I died on Thursday while under anesthesia. They brought me back but the surgery didn't go so well. I am in and out of a constant state of pain and sleep and even the opiates don't seem to do much. They said that I should recover in a couple of weeks and be able to return to work as soon as Aug 7th, if I heal well. It was supposed to be two days of recovery and 45 minutes under. Not 5 hours under, intubation, and three weeks of outpatient recovery. So if you need me, I'm probably sleeping... Feel free to leave kind words and the like.

I go out catfishing tonight with my friends, and we all have big fire, roastin' s'mores, ya know the good summertime vibe. Well it's getting late around 11 and they head out, but I'm a diehard #thatweirdfishgirl and have had nibbles but no hook ups. So I wanted to give it to 11:30, especially when I caught a 3' longnose gar last night. Time goes by, ya know, I'm sitting there, doin' my thing... alone. And what ya gotta realize is that I cut this trail a couple hundred feet down through thick brush in the woods pretty decently away from people and I've never seen anyone there, like ever. I've got all my stuff packed up and I'm getting a bucket of water to douse the fire. And me being me, I talk to myself, ya know monologue and what not. So right before I pour water onto the fire I ask out, in a normal speaking voice, "Well. If anyone's out there, now's the time to say something if ya want my fire." And me not at ALL expecting anything keep talking to myself only to abruptly stop when a woman's voice from the fucking dark forest says "Yeah. I'll come take a look." And I just FREEZE. I wait a few seconds before calling out, much more loudly, "Did... someone really just respond....?" DEAD SILENCE. So I draw my pistol and walk out with it in hand just in case, cuz I spook easily. And I have my headlamp and I'm lookin' around and I don't see ANYONE or hear ANYTHING. But I get up to my car and I see a light pop on down in the PITCH BLACK of the woods and start walking down to the river. Obviously they were harmless, but GOTTDAYUM was that creepy!

*insert Mannfred Von Carstein voice line here*

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45903523/

Go check out this raffle! Heck if you don't want it if ya win, gift it ta me! Hehe >:3 I jest... Unless... Nah I'm kidding... or.....

So I’m pretty sickly at the best of times. Just tested positive for COVID… so wish me luck

Uploaded all the artwork I got last year that never made it onto here. I'll probably be commissioning more soon now that I have disposable income. So if you're an artist with a good deal and good quality (no YCH clones for now, please) please hit me up, especially if you make stickers/icons! Or if you're a friend and wanted to get something of our characters, depending on the idea and price-range I could be persuaded! Either way, thanks guys~ Have a happy new year.

I know I've not been very active recently. I am sorry for that. My life long companion cat Miss Daisy is dying and I spent 1100 USD on vet bills trying to save her, but I don't think it's done any good. I don't have that kind of money. I am at risk of losing my house, my car, my job which relies on the former, and so much more. My mental and emotional health are at an all time low. If you're interested in helping in any way, feel free to reach out to me via a note. Happy Birthday to me...

My pet beardie has passed away tonight. I went to give her a bath and she was laying still and it appears she passed away while excreting waste. It was a little large, but there were no signs of impaction so I'm at a loss as to why she died. It hurts my heart, I was playing with her just earlier today. I've had her for seven years, but she was a full adult rescue when I got her, so it's hard to tell her age. My best guess is 9, which is still quite young. I'm just really hard grieving right now. I'm sorry but I'll be absent for a little while.

Always willing to show support to artists~

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/41473469/

I'm a slut for trying to get art, if ya get me.

So https://www.furaffinity.net/view/40096363/

Go gets some tickets~

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/40.....#cid:153099078

Their art is so cute! Here's a great chance!

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/40073240/

Mention me if you join! :3

Quality art chance here!

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/39175406/

It never hurts to try! I have quite a few lovelies on here that enjoy my company that may actually wanna buy me a birthday gift, right? My birthday is Sep 10th!
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/.....?ref_=wl_share

I don't think anyone realizes just how close I am...

Hey guys, I'm looking for an artist to do a commission for a sci-fi themed suit of armor for Aeolian. I've got references of what I'd like, but don't really know of any artists that do that sort of work. I understand that with it being a niche and somewhat difficult thing, that prices are likely to be slightly higher than normal. But I've got a budget so the best recommendations at the most affordable prices would be best. Just seeking profile recommendations for now. So give me your thoughts.

So um.... :3 If anyone wan's to buy meh some art commissions for Chrissymis I would love some presents~

Sooo... um... Aeolian, and therefore myself... turn 27 in 3 hours... On the tenth. So uh... just in case... like.. in the .005% chance that I've got secret admirers... Uh....

Here's dis... [url=https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/.....l_share][/url]

UwU Much love....

Check out Pollard's awesome raffles! They're so kind to offer them so frequently!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9173283/#

For those two of you who bothered to wish me well, thank you. I'm home now after almost five days of seizures and vomiting from hydrazine toxicity. I was treated with a host of things including pyrioxidine megadosing. I've been very ill and thought I would die. I will now be at a much higher risk for cancer for my entire life. I may not be active again for a while yet, but just... thought someone, maybe somewhere, wanted to know that I didn't die.

Aeolian's player is in the hospital due to chemical poisoning, she asked me to update this for her. The doctors said she'll be okay, but she wanted to let everyone know she'll be a few days in recovery. She does not have her phone or access to a computer as she is having intense seizures from the exposure.