Hey all, Seems like a new and interesting journal has come out from  toddlergirl

Here it is:

Feel free to ask my fursona anything. You can ask Aeon anything, and as many questions as you wish. I will be working all night so he will be able to answer questions for a while.

Only thing is he may return with a question, and if he does, YOUR CHARACTER must answer it.

Ah summer, great time to hide in the AC and do some electronics work. It seems that every year around this time, I get a new light bar to work on. First I got a set of arrow sticks [which I still have 2 more, if anyone wants to buy them] then traded an LED arrow stick for a whelen edge 9000 [which is in use on my work truck.] So last week I found a light I have always loved, a Federal Signal Vector. Saddly it doesn’t have the smart pods, though I am studying the bits of info I am finding online and I might just build my own pods when I get the chance. So far I have changed the pattern, setting the left side rotors to rotate left, and the right side to the right. The front flashers I am thinking of using a whelen flasher card [OMG zombie bar] to run the front flashers, which will allow for use as take-downs. I hooked the alley lights up to the flasher card, though may change them back eventually… I also used one of the arrow sticks and made a full package with it. Now it’s a vector/signal master combo kit.

Future plans:

updating all lenses to Amber/Clear [currently all red]

Update center rotor to osculate

Flasher cards to allow flashing and take-down/alley operation, or build smart pods

MAYBE: Building LED bulbs to replace the halogen ones. This will be a first of their kind, and I might patent them. I need to find a way to get super bright LED’s, and someone to teach me to etch and cut PC board for this to work. BUT for now, I am gonna handle what I have and worry bout the bulbs later.

Now since I want to bump the other journal, heres a second one I am delayed in writeing;

So, last week  golawaya and  kaiootter spent some time over. ;wags lots; We got to go to the light house, went out and checked out some places, and went to Cheggs with  Vitani [AKA Clementine] Man do I want a jar of the satano [sp] sauce. Mmmmm :P

Anyways, I am glad we could help ya out and glad we could show you a good time on your vacation. I cant wait for your return ^^

[Warning, some will laugh at this, others will be pissed]

Its amazing how working alone on nights can get ones mind to wonder. I am caught up on a conversation that happened several weeks ago. I have only mentioned it to a handful of people so far. It pertained to my ex, and some comments that were made to me about her.

First off, it was easier to walk away rather than try and defend myself, and besides why should I bring more drama upon others. Another reason is because its in the past. I have let it go and so it doesn’t bug me as much. Sure I think of her, and I miss some of the things we would do, mostly the adventures. Seemed like anywhere we went brought some sort of adventure.

;sighs; Yeah I know shes in the army to. Geeze everyone has told me such, seems like people take pleasure in telling me about her new passion. Personally I wish her luck on this new adventure with new friends. Seems like only yesterday she told me she’d leave if I EVER signed up, because she couldn’t take the separation. I am glad that shes found something to be committed to.

As for why I don’t show up or come over or even keep in contact with you, well why should I have? The one time I tried to talk, I was met with the comment “How Dare I hurt Her” and how I’ll “rot in hell” In fact, 99% of our friends showed her loyalty and just turned their heads away from me. But to be honest and all, I didn’t mind. Maybe its what I needed to move on. It allowed me to contact old friends, friends I wasn’t allowed to have before. And because she, and most of the others that put so many fears into my life were gone, I was able to revert back to myself. Better yet I was able to find people who understand and accept me. I found people who are willing to defend me, help me when I need it, talk to me when I need to talk, and who will simply keep me company when I am lonely. Its shocking now that I think back to the people that I’ve met, and I find its been so many years since she and I parted. Its nice to know that I don’t have to fear these people hating me for whatever simple reason they can come up with.

Did I use her? Kinda a funny question to ask. Yes, yes I did, just as she used me, and I am sure you’ll use your mate, and she’ll use her new mate… You see, when you get in a close relationship with someone, you depend on them. You cry on their shoulder. You come to them with problems, or to talk. When times get tough you look to them to help you through it. ANYONE who says they don’t use their mate, is either lying, or doesn’t truly love them in return.

Do I think about her? Often. Mainly, I wonder who shes met, what shes seen, how she feels. Mostly I wonder, does she think about me sometimes… I am sure she does. You mate with someone for the better portion of 10 years and you find its hard to just forget them.
Yes, I know… Boobs are bigger, big deal I liked them the way they were… shes not my GF anymore though so I guess it doesn’t matter anyways lol. Now will everyone stop trying to make me jealous already, seriously, if I really want to know about her new chest sizes, or what shes gotten pierced, or what toys shes playing with [yes I’ve heard this one to x.x’] I’ll find her and ask.

Bottom line is this, Shes my ex, she always will be from this point on. I have no need to stress about it, no desire to keep dwelling on it. Whats done is done so from now on, if we are at a con, please don’t bug me bout it, or if were at a meet, don’t randomly blurt out her personal and private info, I, and I am sure Kime will, thank you in advance.

Aeon Bosanova,
Rascal Dormly,

In 2010, Gov Chris Christy enacted a 2.5% cap on taxes. This means that townships can not raise taxes above two and a half percent over what their current budget is. As a result, many emergency services have had to make cuts in order to save money. Many of these organizations have had great difficulty in balancing their budgeting problems. Many of them, have also taken drastic solutions to solve their issues…

[caution, sirens, please lower speakers]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8N_GwSjONQ


This video was taken on 5/29/11 in a local NJ town. This is not my video. Those who know, feel free to pass it on with the above story lol.

Where are you staying?:
My house :P Yeay Closeness

What day are you getting there?:
Saturday Morning

How long are you staying?:
4PM Saturday. X.x stupid work

Who will you be rooming with?:
Myself [Just said I was stayin home right lol]

Is this your first Doo Dah Parade? If not, what anniversary is this?:
Naa, I have been there for several years. Missed the last couple though

What suit(s) will you have?:
None, I usually act as a spotter and supply drinks.

Can I buy you lots of drinks?:
naa, I dont drink that much

Are you taking part in the Pie-asco?:
No, I sit upstairs and laugh at the others while it happens :P

Are you going to take part in the parade itself or just watching?
Yes, I will be walking with the group with some safety equipment and water.

What other extra-curriculars will you be taking part in?
welp, gonna try and make breakfast, if I am to late then maybe lunch lol

Hope to see everyone there ^^

Annual Christmas Card send off

As with every year. I am sending out Christmas cards to all those who wish to recieve them. Simply send your address, [here or via note] and I'll make sure you get one. If I have your address in the computer, I'll automatically send it out.

Now I know I am running late with this, so you will only has a week to get the addy to me or the cards wont arrive in time.

I support FA's decision in removing ADULT cub art. to be honest it doesn't really belong here anyways. HOWEVER, I would like to warn all cubs on FA that they should back up ALL their art, in case the stray admin decides to remove it for being borderline, [no offense to FA Admin, but not all of you are nice and use your brains. I am just attacking the select few that abuse the powers instead of using them for the reason they were given them]

Outside of that, Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!

Well I thought getting a job would help.... kinda funny thing happened... I seem to be happy while at work... anywhere else and I just dont know if I am happy or now... It seems to be taking its toll to. So far I have snapped at my boss, at the cop that showed up when someone took out the mailbox [yeah damn kids hit the mail box the other night] I flipped at my family, mom, dad, bro, been blocking out my friends, and I spend my time in my room. I have even found that I dont go on the computer as much any more. I just sit and watch a blank TV screen all day, letting my mind wonder.

I am just not sure what to think anymore... Tony, Clem, and Kaio all are trying to cheer me up [thanks guys] but in the end, I just feel this cold that presses down on me. Its kinda scary to have this feeling and not know what to do about it. everyone says I am fine. give it time. I'll be ok... and it just feels like right now. I wont ever be ok. like this strange wound wont ever heal ever.

Ladys and gents, I am not trying to scare anyone, I am not planning anything stupid... to many people counting on me to die, sides, with my current luck, I could get hit by a mack truck and live and have to deal with my boss flipping at me cause I am in the ER [he just fired someone because they were at the ER] Trust me. I am not going anywhere for a very long time...

Last Friday, several furs in PA lost their home due to a fire that started next door. they have lost just about everything and Local furs are doing what they can to help out. Still, this is not enough and so they are asking for help from us.

For more information on how you can help, please visit this link, http://lildobe.livejournal.com/199892.html And Please spread the word as much as possible.

Thanks,

I now has a job, ^^

It'll be Mondays through Fridays 7 P to 3A [kinda an odd shift] but here's the best part.

After talking with the boss, I was told to bring a laptop or DVD player, anything to keep me entertained when I am not walking around, which is a lil over half the time :P

There is a down side through, #1, this job is set to last 6 months at this time. and #2, I will be charged a rental fee of 20 dollars on my first check, and then 6-10 dollars a week after that, and upon completion of this job, I'll be charged an extra 30 as a "Dry cleaning" fee.

Only odd thing I can come up with is the fact that if a cell phone breaks, each worker on shift is charged 100 dollars. First off, we are using our own cell phones so if they break its on us, why does the company collect? and #2, they use these cheap phone things [cant even call them cell phones] you cant tell me they are worth 2-500 dollars. and if a company flashlight breaks... A simple mag light, we all get hit with 30 bucks each..... yeah you heard right....

Kinda makes me second guess it, but you know what, the only thing I am gonna worry about is the uniform thing. I has my own equipment ;wags;

I feel run down. I'm just exhausted from trying and trying and trying to do something with my life. Lately it seems for every good thing, 5 bad happen. It also feels like every time I accomplish something, something it adds up to absolutely nothing in life. For instance. I had to take a state aid class to get my SORA [Security Officers Registrations Act] card so I can work as a security officer. Many companies require you to have this card to work, but now that I have it, many companies are turning me away saying I am over qualified. What the fuck does that mean, "Over qualified" Does it mean that I am to good and that I'll make the company look bad? Maybe it means that even though I dont have I job, I should find something harder to do, rather than IDK, something to get me adjusted so I can get used to this line of work [Which is very different from law enforcement]

So, Sora card=waste of time and money,

Then there's all these other apps, Stuff I have to fill out so I might get a job. Who woulda known that if you fill out over 10 apps at the same place, they outright tell you to stop turning them in because they dont like you and dont want you working there. I have done so many applications, I learned the spelling of my old bosses name [which is very close to lesbian I might add]

I am just exhausted from trying. I feel I have no job background, and possibly no job future. I dont know what to do anymore, and at this point, my head feels like its spinning around. Mostly I just feel empty again...

Sorry guys. Just really down today and I am handling it the best way I know how...

Well, Its been 9 years. This day brings several words to mind. Cruelty, unity, disbelief, pain, loss, fear, anger, sadness, confusion, frustration and change are just a few. I started this day off by attending a memorial in town along with local fire companies, first aid squads, and police departments from the area. Also there were the OC-SAR and OC-WR, the local VFW, and members from the NJNG. All persons were in suits, almost as if it were a mass at church. 9 years later, these people still remember, just as I, what happened. They remember the confusion, and the feelings they had after the smoke had cleared, with 2 buildings gone, a third burning, 4 planes crashed, 6,000+ injured, and just under 3,000 persons dead or missing. 343 firefighters, 35 Port Authority officers, and 23 NYC police officers perished.

When I got home I took a nap, then I went online and did some research. I found some lists of the people who lost their lives... the reason why we remember this day every year, and the reasons why we should NEVER FORGET. I read every name off in my head, and thought long and hard about what their family must have gone through. the pain that these people must have had in their last moments. what their last thoughts may have been.

You see, people seem to have forgotten some already. People hear 9/11 and they think about the towers coming down, or they think of the firefighters that died. What about the people on the planes, They never chose for their plane to be hijacked, they never chose to crash into a building [outside of the terrorists that did so] What about the 125 workers in the Pentagon? What about the Police officers? What about the rescue workers that have fallen ill due to cancer from exposure to chemicals? Every damn channel seems to talk of the twin towers and of the FDNY. I think its time EVERYONE became mentioned. so below are the lists of those who lost their lives doing exactly what we do every day... Going to work. Going on vacation. Visiting relatives. Think about them all, and don't Ever forget them, not one of them.

Total list of dead and missing,
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,62151,00.html

List of firefighters KTLD,
http://nyfd.com/9_11_wtc.html

Total list of PAPD and NYPD KTLD,
http://www.afge171.org/news/911/POLICE.HTM

Never forgotten, Tuesday 9/11/2001

Free Art can be found here, http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1650800/

Ok, Clementine is holding a contest for free artwork. Shes also short on cash so should you not get picked, PLEASE commission her. Her prices are reasonable, and shes an Awesome artist. Please find her page here:

 Vitani Vitani Vitani Vitani Vitani Vitani Vitani Vitani:iconVitani: Vitani Vitani Vitani

Hey all,

Just lettin everyone know I'll be over at  tonyringtail s house for my birthday ;waves; Bye all ^^

I am safe and Fine.

For those who are confused, a forest fire broke out in Bass river township and was burning towards my current residence. As an idea to how close it got, houses just down the road were evacuated due to the high risk that the fire would spread. for about a day and a half ash and unburnt bark fell around us and thick smoke filled the area. [My room still smells like it was burning x.x]

There is good news though, #1, the wind was not blowing that strong, or the fire would have moved much faster. #2, Forest fire helicopters not only dumped water on the fire, but soaked this side of the highway to prevent any spreading. and #3, the local fire department, [St. 71] was on hand to put out any spot fires that crept up. [one of which was in my own back yard x.x']

All in all, the fire is contained and as long as nothing goes wrong, the fire will burn itself out by the end of the week. The puppy will remain here at his home, and all is somewhat back to normal.

;waves to all;

Also, Abbeys trip is going great, she says hello to everyone ^^

Cross-posted from  razor_wulff

---

Well guys, it's coming up in just 1 week!!! Are you ready?


When: Sunday July 18, 1p - ?????
Where: Tony Ringtail's House in East Windsor, NJ
Why: Cause we felt like it and it's for K2's BDAY!!!

What to bring: Munchies and drinks to share, fursuit (or at least a partial if you have one), yard games (i.e. washers, horseshoes, etc.)


There will be music, games, a pinata (for fursuiters only!), and FOOD expertly prepared by yours truly (I never reveal my menu until the day of...so it's always a surprise).

For those who need directions or an address for their GPS unit just note me and I'll be sure to oblige.

Also, for those who would rather come by train, utilize the NJ Transit NE Corridor Line and get off at the Princeton Junction Train Station. The station is located a mere 10-15 min away and we will make sure to set up "shuttle services" to and from the BBQ.

*** I would like to remind everyone that this particular FurBQ will NOT have the hospital trip for fursuiters. I'm currently in talks with St. Peter's University Hospital in New Brunswick about having a group of costumers visit on Labor Day. Stay tuned because the Labor Day FurBQ is the biggest event we put on ALL YEAR!! ***

---

Just as a note, we are also setting up a large tent and will need some volunteers to help put it up. Its about 26'x12'x10' If you can assist with putting up the tent please send a note to me. Thanks

July 18th BBQ

Just making a general note that  tonyringtail is holding a BBQ at his place. All furs are invited ^^ ;waves; I will be there as well of course :P.

Tony lives in East Windsor NJ, I think there’s a train station near by [for non-driving furs]

~~ Now, I am coming from southern ocean county NJ, if anyone needs a ride and they aren’t to far from the route [539-526-130 I think] I am able to pick up 3-4 persons. Please contact myself or  tonyringtail for more info. ~~

As of this point, My computer is disconnected for the move. I do not know when I'll return, but I WILL be returning at some point.

Those of you who use Ham radio can reach me on the W2NJR system [Use Echolink] and my call-sign is KC2YQW. See http://home.comcast.net/~w2njr/ for more info.

Those of you who have my number, Feel free to call. [Be advised my house phone wont work till I get nets back]

Welp, Take care all ;snugs and hugs sent around;

Aeon & Rascal

In about a week I will finaly be moveing out of the house I currently live in. I am a little nurvus but also I cant wait to have a room of my own again.... Guess maybe things will start workin out once all is said and done.


With the above of course there is some bad. I WILL NOT have access to FA or any internet for an unknown ammount of time.. This means I can not be contacted via messager or FA notes... Also, I will be unable to post info for BFU [which I have fallen behind on] I need one of the BFU admins to please provide that function for me.

Those of you who wish to remain in contact please send a note and I'll return with my phone number [please note, you must know me well enough or I may not give my contact number out]

;waves; Love you Abbigale <3 I cant believe I am doin this finaly!!!

To those I met at Ringtails on Sunday / Monday, I thank you for being there. You all made me feel normal for the first time in a while. I didn’t feel lonely and trust me that’s a HUGE amount of progress. I am hoping to be at more events and hoping you will all be there to. Thanks to [and I hope I get these names right] Razer, Watcher[who makes the BEST food ever!!] Clementine Fox [Pokepokepoke :P EEP WATER BOTTLE ;hides under plush;], and Ron, [or is it just Overdrive? I never did get your fur name, but your apple drink was GOOD!]. Course how could I forget Tony ringtail. You were all a big help to me.. Thanks for the Awsome time ^^

I looked up the meaning of my furry names... Its kinda interesting;

Aeon: A divine power or nature emanating from the Supreme Being and playing various roles in the operation of the universe

Bosanova: style of popular Brazilian music derived from the samba but with more melodic and harmonic complexity and less emphasis on percussion.

Aeon Bosanova: A divine power or nature emanating from the Supreme Being and playing various roles in the melodic and harmonic operation of the universe. Said to prevent chaos and confusion.

how about Rascal?

Rascal: One that is playfully mischievous

Dormly: Unfounded...

So I guess I would be a playfully mischievious pup....

Shino: A dark goddess

Sitanos: Latin name which meant "of Sidon". Sidon was an ancient Phoenician city corresponding to modern-day Saida in Lebanon. This name was borne by the 5th-century saint Sidonius Apollinaris, a 5th-century bishop of Clermont.

Not sure what to say....

Breakeven by The script

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in,
'Coz I got time while she got freedom,
'Coz when a heart breaks
no it don't break even.

Her best days will be some of my worst,
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first,
While I'm wide awake, she's no trouble sleeping,
'Coz when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even no.

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Coz she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even no.

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces,
(Cuz when a heart breaks no it don't break even)

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain,
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm tryn ta make sense of what little remains, oh.
'Coz you left me with no love, with no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in,
'Coz I got time while she got freedom,
'Coz when a heart breaks no it don't break, no it don't break, no it don't break even no.

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok

I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces,
(One still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces,
(Cuz when a heart breaks no it don't break even)

Oh, it don't break even, no
Oh, it don't break even, no
Oh, It don't break even, no



A song sent to me from my current mate after a convo we had about my ex...

I dont know why things happened the way they did or where exactly things went wrong, but I always found myself accepting the blame while she seemed happy to move on. My nights away were spent talking with Abbey and trying to stay aline... Back then it was hard to do anything because I was so used to doing things with her. I just didnt feel right doing them alone, and still even today there are things I find weird doing on my own.

The biggest thing is, I dont think many of my "friends" realised how much it did hurt me. Most just went on and ignored it, or acted like I chose to hurt over anything else. This song matches that time... Thank you love for bringing it to me ;kisses; <3

Rascal/Aeon

“My best friend took a week's vacation to forget her
His girl took a week's worth of valium and slept
And now he's guilt stricken sobbin' with his head on the floor
Thinks about her now and how he never really wept he says

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

We've tried to wash our hands of all of this
We never talk of our lack in relationships
And how we're guilt stricken sobbin' with our heads on the floor
We fell through the ice when we tried not to slip, we'd say

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen”
The Freshmen

Its been nearly a year now. Rarely talking to her and learning life on my own again. So many things are different when alone. I learned that there are many things I don’t like doing anymore. Things I enjoyed two years ago but now just make me feel cold. I seem to listen to music and want to get out of this house more. Most of me wants to go far away from here… And part of me doesn’t want to look back when I do. Most of the pain is gone now, replaced with emptiness and framework. Talking to a friend, I compared it to a house… Let me see if I can do it again…

Its like a house that you live in all your life. You put your heart into it, getting things just right and safe feeling, till one night a fire guts it leaving nothing in its wake. Slowly afterwards, the construction crews come in and demolish the charred wood and stuff, and replace it with fresh new beams. Eventually, new drywall and paint and furniture will be put in, but it will never be the same as before the fire…

While I didn’t have everything set up right in my life… I felt safe with her, like I could do anything. The day she left well, that was the day of the “Fire” and everything being burned out. A week or two later the fire is out and everything was cold. Then things began being rebuilt. A little deconstruction to begin construction. Felt cold for a long time because of those “Holes” in the wall. But everything now has been replaced with something new, or the framework to build something new… I have a new mate as most of you know, and while he’s across the country, I love him dearly and cant wait for the day we can be in each others arms. Still, with all the repairs going on in life, all the healing and such, I know things wont be the same. The “walls and furniture” wont seem in the same place as before.

TL/DR
Basically, I am healing, but things wont ever be the same But are they ever the same after the first relationship and the first break up?

And to those who are reading and thinking I need help, and to my parents, who I know read my posts sometimes, I am feeling wiser. I feel a little better and while the stress still has me down, I am nearly healed from last year. Not everything can be fixed or replaced, but I think I have gotten back on the right track. I ask for a little more time and a little more help from those who have given it in the past. But I think I am almost ready to fly solo…

I have begun to look for jobs in a new place far from where I live right now. For those who haven’t been in contact, I am planning on moving out this year. I have spoken with a couple other furs and we are arranging to rent a place for a little bit to see how things are, and to get on our feet. After we feel we are ready to go fully on our own, we will part and get our own houses. It may take a year or two, but I think we can pull it off if the move goes ok. That’s about where we stand right now… Figuring out how we can get 4 furs from 3 different areas into 1 place.

I’ll try to update more often but for now I am headin off.

TTYL everyone ;hugs;

I am going to try to do some laminating for anyone who wishes it. $2 USD per sheet [a sheet is enough to laminate an entire page of printer paper] If your interested, I will need your Address, and of course the picture you wish to have laminated [the 2 dollars goes to cover the laminating sheets and postage which can be anywhere from 44 cents to 1.00] If you have originals and wish to have those laminated, please feel free to note me and I’ll give you my address to send everything. Thanks!

Aeon