Long Story short, I slept with five Tenas this night.
This may be considering a waste of diapers, but I used them all, I usually wet one of them, change myself, and continually use the other units I'm wearing.

I like it this way because it make my bottom thick, and it difficult to walk... Making me feel like a younger toddler wearing thick Pampers in 1998, which basically sumarizes one of the best memories of my childhood. I mean... Babyhood or toddlerhood, but it all comes to the same thing.

Usually when this happens... I enter in baby mode while sleeping! And I've a dream of myself in 1998, but with my mentality of today. I mean... I'm a toddler, but I think like 19 year old Rafael. Which makes it fun... But usually lost my senses in the process as well. And I end up not wetting... But SOAKING my Pampers.

I wake up in real life, and as result, my Tenas leaks all over my bed leaving a wet streak on my mattress.
Man... This is a bit embarrassing... Thank god my window catch some sun light, then my bed will be dry later.

I do wonder if ABU diaper or Crinklez would stand a change at this huge piddle pants that I am...

Long story short, I'm very anxious and I'm kinda frustrated about my last job interview. I don't have a god damn clue if I succeeded or not! And that is really pissing me off! So I decided to use the rest of my money to give myself some gifts.

The first one was going to the cinema.

At first I tried to watch the Emoji movie, and yet I know... This movie is still horrible, but I wanted to know: "How horrible it is?"... I mean, Ghostbusters 2016 was really bad, but the fighting scenes were at least pretty enjoyable! But I somehow... Lost my ticket, no joke.

So I bought another one, and I watched that Russian super-hero flick: The guardians.
And man... How did this movie sucked so hard? The trailers made the film look so awesome! But the actual film feels like a poor strict to television film! And the villain looks like a puppet.

At least I ate a burger and a bunch skittles before, so yay?

Then I bought the game, and a package of Tenas for me (20 units, it's pretty absorbent, it's a great deal).
And man... The whole game has fairly simple gameplay mechanics, as well a great soundtrack!

The last time I had a similar experience was with Half Life!
Also... I had pizzas and Pepsi for dinner... Cool right?

All I want is all of my characters to have a origin story in common. Telling you know, how Alpha was regressed to a baby and such... But no matter how hard I write, I don't seem to look happy with any of my stories so far. I'm literally out of ideas, and nothing so far is satisfying me... Why?

Why it's so hard to make a good story?

Like I imagined... I barely started the 4th semester and the teachers are burying me under a pile of tasks; it's anything: from researching to collect data, more research, books to read & sumarize, presentations... And by the looks of it the list will get bigger. I now have to study for another exam for internship selection (which doesn't envolves any specific content from journalism or communications... That alone makes easier), and I have a on-line subject from the college as well... Which one and what's my freaking login? I don't know yet.

In other words: blah, blah, blah - College - blah, blah, blah - Adulthood - blah, blah, blah - I may be really occupied this week. And that sucks for sure, at list I was able to buy a good book today... Which one? I, robot from Isaac Asimov also... I ate pizza today (which is not that okay, I should be on a diet, but I should enjoy while I can, cause my doctor will certainly restrict a lot of my eating habits).

I also should be studying by now, but today I'm not in the mood for it. Not even the moon, my cat or my cappuccino are helping as I wish... So I might as well got to bed while it's early, and worry about studying or completing boring chores tomorrow in the afternoon.

Thankfully, if everything went well this week, I'll be able to finish the gifts and trades I own and work more in a few personal arts of mine. Seriously, it makes ages since I drew, colored and submitted a original drawing from Alpha. I mean... I even bought the colored pencils I need and I haven't touched them yet!

Now a meme for your relaxation:

Seriously, I wanna know. Consumerism in large doses can be an exaggeration like anything else in life... Which is always bad, but in healthy doses is nothing more than something essential. I mean... That's just simply how the capitalism works, people buy stuff and money moves the economy...

...So why in the hell is so difficult to deal with stores? I mean... I've tried my hardest, but no matter why... Even if I don't have any major pendencies or negatives in my account. No deal. I can't do a credit card, I can't negotiate with the store... It almost feels like they don't want to sell any more. Which is weird... Just why?

This is a very unfortunate reality of Brazil... Where stores loses possible clients to avoid being stolen or tricked by assholes.

I just got more colored pencils, and tomorrow is friday... Well, that means I can finish my pending art trades and gifts from the past. I could also finish some personal arts of mine... I don't know, maybe even start some new ones.

Why it took so long? Bills. Lots and lots of bills, and thankfully I overcame each and every single one of them so far. Which is great... Even through I love Steam, I know that my notebook won't be able to satisfy all of my gamer needs... I need a new console. Which one? Well... I'm looking forward to an Xbox One...

Yeah, I know... What about the PS4? What about Crash Bandicoot? Honestly... I do like them a lot, but I do miss microsoft's box a lot. It's a good console. And I guess that I can always buy them later with my money... Play Stations are known for having a 10 year life cycle... And honestly, PS4 still pretty young.

Also... Microsoft has impressed me a lot... I've to admit that so far, the company has managed to make the Xbox more attractive. Specially if you consider all the new exclusives (~aham~ Super Lucky's Tale) and the backwards compatibility (which Sony ignores because it's more profitable to sell remasters instead).

Sorry Tux, but I'm done with throwing codes at the terminal while hoping that will work... I'm done with certain lack of compatibility from some softwares... And I'm done guessing which step I should take, or which tutorial I should check. I just wanna practicality, therefore, windows to the rescue.

Speaking of changes... The first day wasn't even that bad... At least, I don't have to share my course with publicity anymore. That means all new content and classes will be exclusive to journalism, which is great. I'm also finally writing original stories again!

The last semester was a pain in the ass so big that not only me, but the entire freaking class complained about how the course of journalism was getting ridiculously hard. Man... We are getting so tired of this shit... And I am no exception damn it! It was ten times hard to me, specially because I got a severe case of depression.

Now... It wasn't enough for them to f*ck us... And they can't let us rest until august? Are you f*cking kidding me? Common guys! It's just one week, why start a new semester on the end of a month? This really make no god damn sense whatsoever! And it's exactly this kind of thing that makes me wish I was in school again...

No even high school is that hard with you! Well... If I missed a day, I might as well enjoy it while I can... Because I'll be f*cked by tomorrow... Thanks a lot assholes...

I can't really say that I am a hardcore Linkin Park fan, but I'm a huge fan of their music.
Back in a day, I would spent nights awake listen to their albums while study, and I used to like Chester... He seem to be a nice guy.

So, my respect for his family and friends, and thanks for being a great singer and songwriter. I am a special fan of final masquerade and Castle of Glass.

Disregarding maybe my little side and everything that is kinda attached to it... There is three thing in my life that a have an huge passion for, and represent a lot to me: family, spirituality and gaming. I'm afraid that I can't affirm with 100% of certitude that my entire life revolves around those three things, but I can affirm that a considerable portion of my being does.

Being more directly, today I took what I think that was my most difficult... But yet, my most mature decision in years to come. I sold my PS4 Slim in order to pay some bills. And even through this doesn't seem like much, and I'm acting a little dramatically... This is a decision that has some impact on me. I really liked that PS4... It was just a console, but I had friends, I was a part of a community... I didn't played much, but the games I played left a mark on me for sure. And this is a good thing! Video-games are meant to be remarkable experiences that you can live on the comfort of your couch.

So yeah... I'm a bit sad, but yet excited... This also marks a phase in my life. I'm now nearly the conclusion of healing process, I can feel the depression slowly vanishing away... And my financial life is now away positive... In a couple of days I'll even manage to buy a new console with all my debts paid.

Now... My next step is to choose another console I guess... But which one I should choose?

Well, it took away longer that I thought it would... Thankfully, from what it looks like, I finally overcame my depression. I man... It sure feels nice to take a breath and relax after this heavily emotional and tiresome episode. Now I'll make sure to work on my pending prizes and trades with the materials that I still have in hands... Which miss a few colours... But I can't really buy another one right now...

I'm also looking forward to make a few future live-streams on my PS4 but... I'm still going to need some time to figure that out... And a PlayStation Plus account btw... That would be very nice... Now for tomorrow (or today, damn time zones, I mean saturday, 8 of July) I'll finally watch Spider-man: Homecoming... So I hope that Tom Holland doesn't disappoint me.

Tomorrow is also the deadline for my final grades... And this might be the first time that I will ever repeat a semester or specific subject... Man... I wish this depression got me in another specific time period, not the end of the year's first semester. However, things are getting better... For the first time in six months searching for a job, I my opportunities to get a paid internship grew tremendously.

If I continue my search... I might get something on the Holiday Season or earlier.

[edit] Also... I had to change my internet provider... And thanks to the unnecessary bureaucracy... I pretty much spent a week without internet.

In case if you missed the news, a bunch of movie trailers were released this week all over social medias... And... The majority of them look horrible. I mean, horrible. Seriously... Horrible on comical levels. So, let's shred everything into pieces before making another major conclusion, okay?

First: Jumanji - Welcome to the jungle

Seriously... What is the f***ing problem with Sony Pictures? They never really were great with blockbusters, but at least they had some level of decency. Take for instance Spider-man 2; the movie isn't any master-piece (I bet Homecoming will be away better) but the movie was pretty good regarding the original trilogy with Tobby McGuire.

I mean... I still remember the scene with the Subway, how good Doctor Octopus was portrayed (okay, not necessarily well adapted, but still a pretty good character). Hell, not to mention all the success from Columbia Picture's past. Remember MIB?

But Jumanji... Man... They really f***ed everything... I bet that even Dwane Jhonson can't save this one... The trailer doesn't give me any good impressions, the effects looks cheesy, the humor is horrible (even for a "kid's film") and it makes me remind of Ghostbusters 2016...

Second: Inhumans

Man... I'm not sure why, but only Netflix so far was able to handle Marvel's IP outside the cinema.
Yes, it's true that Daredevil and all the spin-offs series were filmed on the ABC's studios... But the writing is away different (and guess what? The effects looks at least reasonable enough to be taken seriously)... But man, they really f**ed up with that Teaser.

Inhumans looks like a joke. The outfits looks pretty ridiculous, and being a TV series is no excuse. Yes... People do say: "It's to mach their characters on the comic books" and okay, that's fair enough... But man... Even that first Captain America outfit from The first Avenger (the one he used in the musicals) looks better.

I jus can't take this narrative seriously. And man... The teaser somehow made the plot even more confusing to me. Are they trying to leave earth? Is their leader betraying then? WTF is happening?
And yes, the effects once again look horrible. Even Jumanji actually looks better... I mean... That scene with the dog is freaking hilarious (in a bad way).

Third: Netflix's adaptation of Death Note

Honestly, I was already expecting the characters and the whole setup to be anything but japonese. I mean... It's an live action adaptation of a anime, if it looked good however... That would be already a compliment. And it does? Yes... A lot actually.

I mean... Ryuk actually looks pretty good for a character made entirely in CG. The plot looks decent do far... No major complaints here.

Conclusion: Man... If the Netflix take on a anime was the most interesting trailer... Hollywood seriously need to rework their marketing.

Honestly, even through it looked cool, I didn't had any interest on buying the NES Classic or NES mini... For a few considerable reasons: it was fairly expensive for a console without cartridge slot, it wasn't bi-voltage... (which is a freaking pain in the ass, I mean... The Atari Flashback and Mega Drive re-release had this advantage)... And even through I respect the NES, I didn't played back in my childhood... So I'm not that huge of fan of it.

However, the Super NES (SNES) or Super Nintendo... Is a completely different deal. This console is the very essence of my childhood! I used to play the tittles this little guy has to offer in diapers. Yes, I learned how to play videogames away before using the potty. Man... Just having Zelda and Super Mario World are enough, and there is even more 19 tittles on it's memory!

Actually... The console even has a copy of Star Fox 2 so... This is the official release of the game after like... 20 years? Guys... I need this little guy in my collection!

But honestly Nintendo, make sure to manufacture more units this time... I don't wanna spend my soul for a used one on eBay.

Man... That really surprised me. Anthony Padilla, pretty much one of the founders of Smosh, has left the YouTube channel as well the website to be a independent content creator. And honestly... This left me shocked.

I grew up with the early days of Smosh. The website, the channel, Ian is Bored, Charlie the Guinea Pig, the bloopers, the early days of Shut Up Cartoons, the movie (yeah, this one is kind recent, but it feels really old) and the food battles... And seeing that he left... Is a reminder that many of the things that were famous back in the early days of internet has now gone.

Man... I seriously barely recognize You Tube now.
I'm not dooming Anthony's decision, but it does feel kinda scary. In either way... He has a good reason to leave.
Smosh has truly become a brand... So... If he isn't allowed to be creative on his own creation anymore... What's the point of continue?

I heard that he is getting a new game, it's called The Wholies Strike Back.
And honestly... I don't know what to think of it.

I mean... Yes, I've never played a single game of him (I'm actually surprised that Accolade is still alive), but it looks like a decent platformer. I mean... Common guys... I could have been another Bubsy 3D, we can at least give credits to that.

When it comes to the mascot's personality... I really don't know what to think... I mean, he is literally a mix between Sonic and all the annoying "Cool" characters from the 90's... In a Bobcat.
And that's pretty much all there is to it, nothing else.

Well... Yes. It is a bit odd... Trying to revive this particular character. But it won't hurt give a try to it... I'm actually legitimately surprised it's a PS4 exclusive... They might as well give a try with the Xbox One.

I will probably give a chance to this game if the price is decent.
Now let me tell you... This year's E3 will be interesting.

This is like... One of, if not THE great dream I ever had during childhood: A Nintendo thematically park.
I mean... This is genius! I don't know why they haven't done this one before, it's perfect.
Now Nintendo truly is a Disney when comes to games!

...Life finds a way to surprise you.

I mean, seriously, I swear that I could stay a entire day sleeping after passing through this week all over again.
I'm talking about a lot of presentations, hours spent studying courses, and running back and forth to give maintenance to group projects.

This thursday was the only day were I could do something other than this tiresome routine, which was pretty much buying a comic and watch a film on the cinema... But even then I'm still tired and there is another presentation tomorrow!

JESUS! I'm so exhausted that I'm not in the mood to play Uncharted 4... And that is saying a lot considering how I love this particular game. I need some fresh diapers and a bed now. Speaking of padding, it's already June, which means that E3 2017 is almost here! I love E3!

My hype is already up in the sky. Personally, I'm looking forward to Sony, Ubisoft and Bethesda's press conferences the most... But I wouldn't mind keep an eye on Microsoft or Nintendo. My expectations? Dude... I'll leave that to another journal, to tired for that.

What's the relation between E3 and diapers? Well... They blend pretty well if you hate to take potty breaks as I do. In fact, it's not unusual for me to play my games while wearing at least three diapers with powder and rash cream. I already know what brand I'm going to buy, but I do want a bit of advice about my next Play Station game (Uncharted 4 is great, but I want some variety)... Maybe I'll do a pool for this on twitter tomorrow.

Seriously, I hate those assholes.
And I thought the police from GTA V was precisely the worst AI foes that I ever had to face in a video game... Man... I was really wrong. Even them are a piece if cake compared to Shoreline.

For f*cking sake, it's almost impossible to avoid conflict with this assholes on chapter 13 of Uncharted 4. They are every-freaking-where! And it doesn't matter how much you shoot, they don't seem to freaking die! WTF? I'm playing Uncharted or the Terminator 2 game?

One of the many things that makes Overwatch magical is it's community. Seriously, no joke.

Look, sorry for my last journal.
I had that chocked up in my throat for a while, and I wanted to let it go somewhere. And even if I was angry, and I sounded aggressive, hey, that doesn't mean I was lying.

But enough with that! Let's talk about video-games.
More specifically Far Cry.

I haven't played much from any of the series early and latest installments, but I did enjoyed playing a little of the third and fourth game. However the 5... It was barely announced and I already want to play it!

I love those games with the "modern wild west" feel... Maybe that's why I loved to play with Trevor on GTA V. And let me tell... Those three characters... I wish that I could play with at least one of them: Pastor Jerome. He looks so freaking badass... And he is a Pastor... Man... I actually feel disappointed I have to create a character.

Just see for yourself all of the trailers and teasers released so far, and tell me if doesn't give you lots of chills:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?li.....N3_4KHu61HeYOk

It is sad that it will be released only in February of 2018, but I will wait anxiously.

Many of you that watches me and support my art may not know, but I will settle this perfectly clear: I live in Brazil, and yeah, I'm a center conservative. Bu-huh, you can unwatch and block me, I really don't care and I won't pretend to be someone that I am not. Even my latest character represent one deepest aspect of myself in real life, so yeah, I may have a bunch of fictional OC's to represent my little side on-line, but that doesn't mean that I'll give up on what I think because I may or may not hurt the feelings of someone.

I'm sorry.

Back to where I was, we had recently a protest in Brazil.
People were protesting against president Michael Temer; the largest majority believe he is "evil" because he wants to reform the social security, a few other people claim that he is part of a "coup d'etat" because he became the president after ex-president Dilma suffered an Impeachment; and the freaking list goes on and on...

Do I agree? Yes and No. And here's why:

1º. Sure, a reform in the social security sounds pretty bad if you consider the amount of time that will take for you to retire... But in other hand, if it wasn't a obligation to contribute with a public and flawless social security (that feels more like a literal economic pyramid), and people with proper resources could pay for a private social security instead... That WOULDN'T be a problem to begin with;

2º. Guys, if Michael Temer was the vice president during the process of impeachment, he has the right of assuming the shrievalty according to our current constitution. And yes, I know the federal police as well the researchers of republic has very solid profs that he committed serious crimes, which gave him real reasons to be replaced, but new election aren't the freaking solution!

For Christ sake, the constitution clearly specifies that in cases like that, the next president of the political hierarchy should assume the presidency chair, and even if pains me to admit, this guy has to be in legal terms the president of the chamber of deputies. And than, we will supposedly have a indirect elections.

With that out of the way, why I felt the urge to express my opinion about this specific protest (happened at 05/24/2017)?

Well... It is quite simple... And in order to answer that question, I want you to pay attention to this image on the following link: https://goo.gl/7N11OU

This... Is the public building of the ministry of agriculture...
Those "protestants" set the building on fire by throwing bombs on it.

I'm really sorry for how much do you think those protesters were well intended, and bad intend "people" were in the middle for ruin every thing... This proofs that thing wasn't a protest at all, that thing WERE a terrorist attack. And the responsible for it, the union of workers and all of he labor unions, SHOULD at the very least help with any investigations regarding those attacks. However, they only said "that wasn't us, it was the Black Blocks" and vanished.

And my patience is over with this SHIT!
Those assholes receive a annual obligatory tax to only show up at those type of "protests", for some tragedy with this scope to happen... And then... Opps! "It wasn't us! Bye!".

I'm don't have a freaking crystal ball, but I don't need it in order to understand that something fishing is happening there. It happens all the time. All the freaking time. And there is several if not hundreds of denunciations regarding these exact same institutions... And links with several acts of horror, possession of weapons and terrorism.

THIS HAS TO STOP.
And you know what it most pisses me off? Those burnt building were owned by the government... So... I'll have to pay for that, with taxes.