Inspired by an old friend talking about their own life, I've decided I should probably take a step back and evaluate where I'm at. I'm at a really strange place in my life right now, and to be quite frank, I'm not sure what to do about it. This post will also go to prove that no, I am not dead- if you want to count a shambling corpse as alive, I suppose.

Life
So, as of late I've been very... anxious. This entire year started with my car's water pump breaking, followed by me having to get a few parts of my transmission replaced. Due to some error on the car shop's part, my car then began to leak transmission fluid constantly- something I took quite seriously. This might not have been so bad, if it weren't for the fact that I'd take it back in, get it worked on once more (on warranty, of course), be told it's fixed... only to have more fluid in my parking spot a couple of days later.

This went on for six months. My anxious mind has locked onto this and formed something not too dissimilar from OCD- simply looking at my car now causes my gut to sink. I fixed the problem maybe two or three months ago now, and I still go out and look under the car to make sure it's still ok. THIS is because I rely on that car for basically everything- if I don't have a functioning car, I can't get to work- if I can't get to work, I'll get fired. No job: no money, no insurance. So... you can imagine several months of this paranoia have worn down hard on my mind. x-x Not to mention more recent problems involving engine misfiring and... point is, I don't get out of my apartment much these days. If it's not within walking distance, I probably don't do it. I don't drive unless I absolutely have to- which, mind you, is great on the wallet and gas mileage, but terrible for basically everything else. So that's PROBABLY been my biggest source of stress and anxiety, as of late.

That seems like a lot, but I felt it necessary to go over. As for my life otherwise, I kind of just feel... trapped, where I am? I'm stuck in this apartment, with pretty much all family I was close to having wisely left the state. I've only really got one close friend I keep in good contact with, but they live in the midst of St. Louis so I don't go out to see them often.

And don't even get me started on my job. I work at an Amazon warehouse- if you've ever read about them, you might know how awful they are. I've been there for over two years now, and honestly I can say I've grown pretty OK with the job itself, it's all the other bullshit that goes along with it that gets on my nerves. And right now, they're starting a bunch of different renovation projects to try to make the warehouse better, and each and every one is just making things worse. It's a proper dumpster fire that I have absolutely no desire to go to, but yet I must if I want to keep paying rent and surviving. x-x

Animating
The only bright side of things is that my online work in animating has been going VERY well, as of late. New patrons have helped me out a TON, I've got WAY more support there than I ever thought I would- and my animations themselves are coming out fantastic, when I can muster up the energy to actually work on them. I still want to get back into regular streaming on my weekends, at some point- but the problem is that with the quality I desire comes the energy I have to burn to do so. Making sure animations look nice is one thing, but I work with interactive animations- which means that not only do I need to make them look nice, but I also need to come up with fun, interesting ideas. I don't know- for me, making things interesting and interactive are very important, so I tend to get bummed out when good ideas stop flowing to me. Top that with the fact that I frequently run out of steam on projects and move onto other things before I finish them and it leaves me in a weird spot where I'm proud of my work, but tend to never quite finish things.

I mean, I wanted to really change things up and make an impressive product with I8U and Helix- but that ended up running into the ground when it just became too much work to keep everything in line. The Ftr engine is not great for incredibly complicated ideas, and really not cut out at all for the kind of bossfighting I was wanting to go for. So I decided to switch it over to something more in-line with my vorish interests: a fun, friendly endo game about a deer and her voracious friends. But character interaction is difficult, and honestly I ran out of steam on THAT even faster. So I'm left in a rut, wanting to work towards some grand goal- but not sure WHAT. I'm thinking about maybe just making Panftr 2 at this point. Until I decide on something, I'm just going to keep working on "smaller" side projects for barbftr. Lord knows if I'll ever actually finish any of those, though.

Where I'm Going, What I'm Doing
To be honest? I have no idea where I'm going, or what I'm doing at this point. I'm just kind of existing, keeping up with friends, animating here and there - I had thought that finishing up college and getting a degree would open so many doors, but it's been almost three years now and I still have no idea what's happening. I'm always afraid of all the what-ifs, and if I'm not in immediate danger, I seem to prefer not thinking about it. But I've been sitting in this room for years now, working at the same computer station, going to the same job, paying way too much in rent... and to be honest? I'm in need of a change. Whatever I set out to find, it's not here anymore. The solitude of being alone was nice for a while, but now I'm starting to feel the walls closing in around me. I need help, but don't know where to look and I don't think it can be found online.

I just need... change, all across the board, I suppose.

Anyway, if you read through all of this, well done. If you only read the parts about the animating stuff, slightly well done, I guess.
In the end, I'm doing the best I can with what I've got, and I'll probably be fine. But if events outside my control hit, well... I don't know what the hell I'm going to do. I'll figure something out.

Thanks for your time!
-Alsnapz

https://picarto.tv/alsnapz
MORE ZARD

Take cover! Here's an update on things.

Right now I'm kind in a weird place, creatively speaking. You might have noticed that my past few things have just kinda been random, out-of-left-field stuff that until that point I hadn't ever mentioned or been like "hey I'm going to work on this now". Most of them have just been personal projects I liked enough to flesh out some- and that's just kind of where I am right now. I8U2 related content takes a ton more thought and planning, and quite frankly I haven't been in the right headspace for that basically at all this year, due to some reoccurring personal life troubles that, hopefully, have finally been resolved.

So I'm going through and going to continue to work on personal projects and try to improve my animating a bit before I jump back on I8U2. As per usual, I tend to put up teasers on my Twitter, because I cannot for the life of me resist doing so, and if you're a Patron you'll get early access to things as they're being worked on. Right now, I'm working on sprucing the the Burr I just released a little while ago a bit more, and I've got a couple other projects I'm trying to work on as well.

I'm also probably going to stream tomorrow, so keep an eye out for that~

Pwip pwip, pwip pwip pwip, pwip pwip.

Alright so, here's what's up, since I constantly forget to upload things to FA and let my FA audience know what's up because I check twitter way more often.

As you may or may not know, I didn't really like the direction I8U was going. Helix was fun, but making enemies more proper boss-fights was uh, taxing, and not very fun at all. Helix himself was an issue as well, as his sword slinging and anger management issues meant that it was easy to make him fight things, but it made softer, more cuddly animations way less plausible. So I decided I was going to do it over, start with a new player character, and set it in a more modernesque sort of setting so I could reasonably fit a wider cast of characters in.

This project is now simply called I8U2, although I'm pondering changing the name to D8 Night, or something along those lines.

The new character's name is Rose, she's a lil' deer lady that's got some very large friends. The game, like the rest of my line of games, will feature entirely nonfatal vore. To that extent, I've actually changed up Rose's behavior to the point where she can't actually attack, aside from kicking at someone's shins. Instead, Rose's 'attacks' are now interactions- a hug, a... pet? Like, petting someone's snoot? A shove, and finally the shinkick. I'm hoping that this collection of interactions will make playing with characters more interesting.

Uhhh, guess that's it, for now! If you wanna play with it early, my Patreon supporters get to test it out as I work on it.

His name a Gridiron





Yeah he's unfinished, sorry :C

...but I ain't workin' any less, either~!
HA. Gottem.

Alright, now that I've got your attention, let's talk what's been going on, where I'm going, etc.

1) Where you been Alsnapz? Hasn't been much from you lately!
-Yeah, what's new? Also, the past month and a half have been AWFUL. Depression's kicked back in, anxiety has spiked, money has... largely disappeared, and overall my situation is just not great~! As such, it's been hard to find the motivation and the energy to do what I've been wanting to do. There have been a few good days here and there, but I'm hoping that after tomorrow things can get better again. We'll have to see!

2) What's the status on I8U? Are you, or are you not, working on it?
Yes. Remember like, a long-ass time ago when I said the issue with I8U was Helix? Turns out I was right. So those of you expecting more work on the current I8U beta, well- I've ditched that entirely at this point, again, I'm afraid. But, I'm replacing it with a NEW version of I8U. I'll talk more about that later.

3) Whatever happened to that Predftr idea?
Oof! While that's a good idea, I think it might be a bit outside of my energy and skill levels for now. Perhaps sometime in the future- but not anytime soon, I'm afraid.

4) Ok, so what's this about a NEW I8U then?
I'm calling it I8U2 for now- and it features the adventures of Rose, a doe, as she interacts with characters around her. I want to have a heavier focus on interaction over action, since honestly making the characters more game-like was kind of a hassle and wasn't very fun to work on. The new focus on interactions SHOULD mean less bog, and more noms. Hopefully. Admittedly I haven't done as much work there as I'd have liked to.

5) What's this new gator that's been floating around?
That's Gridiron. He's my current side-project, basically the only thing I've been able to find the energy to work on lately. I don't really have a 'he's finished' point yet- so I figure when he hits somewhere within 2000-3000 frames worth of stuff, I'll release him publicly.

I think that's about it for now. Feel free to ask questions, I suppose!
If you want, my patreon is still up, and you can still get an early look at what I'm working on (including a somewhat-finished Gridiron and the basics of I8U2). The extra money would help IMMENSELY right now x3x

gator

So to anyone that knows my work, you'll know that I have been working with (mostly) the same vore sounds for uh, quite some time. Some folks have complained that they are counter-immersive since they tend to loop, repeat, etc; so I'm looking for new sounds.

Said sounds should, typically, be very small soundclips, typically less than a second in length. Assorted sounds would involve glorps and glurks, churns and groans, gulps, etc.

Please shoot me a note if you're interested in helping! I uh, don't really know how I can repay you, I'mma be up front about that. But, if said sounds are good, I can put e'm to good use! And I will absolutely post credit.

https://picarto.tv/Alsnapz

Gunna be workin' on Orcarex and maybe finish up Foxxo today!

https://picarto.tv/Alsnapz

So the plan is, 5 hour stream today working on barbftr stuffs. Tomorrow, another stream, that one focusing on I8U!

https://twitter.com/Alsnapz/status/.....57605150318592

So, work has been really slow lately and I have lost a lot of expected hours. If anyone would like to help me out, I'm going to currently do a thing!
https://ko-fi.com/alsnapz
For every $15 receive, I'm going to stream for an extra hour this weekend, up to a max of 12 hours of streaming.

So work basically DIED the moment that January hit. We went from our busiest to our most empty, and between that and all the snow and ice coming through, I've been really lacking on hours as of late.
I don't usually like posting my Kofi, but I figure I can use it as an opportunity as well- it'll be good motivation to actually stream and get stuff done.

So the idea is simple! I do a base 2-hour stream, probably on Saturday. Every $15 I get through Kofi, I add an extra hour onto that stream. I'm willing and able to do up to 12 hours of streaming this weekend, although if it's over 6 I'll split it into Friday as well. BUT, we'll have to see how far that actually goes.

There's a link to a poll on what I should work on here: https://twitter.com/Alsnapz/status/.....58292257005575

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/29968099/
And you should go CHECK IT OUT

>Jadros now has a nom path stemming from his licks. Get licked 3+ times to activate.
>You can now escape his gut.
>Other minor additions probably.

Pwip! Go play with him more here: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/28250123/

Sorry I've been so scatterbrained lately!

Pulled right from twitter, in the event you don't watch over there:
https://twitter.com/Alsnapz/status/.....49051445010437

So while I was stuck bored at work, I was conceptually planning out the logical next step in ftr stuff: Predftr. Where you FINALLY get to play as the pred. At first I thought it would be pretty much impossible- you would have one pred that would just eat a variety of different preys. Mechanically speaking it wouldn't be much different than normal barbftr- but the concept would be entirely backwards.

The same mechanics that let monsters eat YOU can absolutely work in reverse. The only issue was, just one pred would get boring. How do you decide who your pred is? How many times can I animate them gulping people before it gets old?

But with the player as pred, I realized I could, theoretically, swap skins per-prey; basically, there would be a specific pred/prey pair per 'enemey' instead of it being one prey versus numerous preds. So basically, it would play much like barbftr. You still move left and right, still have four 'attacks', still dodge, and since it'd be on I8U, still block. Since reactions to specific attacks are based entirely in the prey's coding in this case, the attacks could be anything

ALSO of note, with the kind of setup predftr would have, I could, fairly reasonably, take pred/prey pair commissions. I'm feeling more confident in my abilities now I think- and between two folks, I would, hopefully, have plenty of information to work off of, so...

...iunno! I do peeps. Those are all my current thoughts on predftr though- all conceptual at the moment, I don't wanna start even thinking of working on it until January or February at the earliest.

1) Barbftr. My side projects have been a bit more enjoyable than working on I8U, so I've admittedly spent a little more time on them than anticipated. I've currently got two characters in the works, one of which will be done once I can think of a few more things to add to e'm, and the other is still mostly a blank slate. I tried some different things, poked some new ideas, and scrapped some of them for not working. One day I'll get the little 'belly minimap' idea to work, I just know it- but I think it needs to be built into the engine, not kind of shoehorned in by me in a goofy kinda way.

2) Work. Work has actually been pretty lax the past month or so, and it's time I really should have spent animating more. Iunno if I'mma feel guilty about not doing so, but work is starting to catch up with me now. I work at a warehouse, and with Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and the Holidays coming up (oh boy), I'm going to start being WAY busier starting next week.

3) Stress. Oh boi has this been a big one. I don't know if it's seasonal affective disorder or if things have just been bad, but my levels of stress and anxiety have skyrocketed since cold weather's moved in. This has made me a lot more ancy, way more prone to wanting to break things, and way less interested in animating. I'm hoping that maybe settling down and focusing on work will help, but it's hard to say.

That's about it, I suppose- I'll get to I8U when I can. Animation updates through patreon are probably going to slow down some in the coming months.
So yeah, peep, I guess!

Seriously, I didn't expect to get as much help as I did through the kofi post earlier. You guys are amazing. ;3; Y'all have saved me from being screwed and stretching myself thin financially.

A HUGE thank you. I'll try to make it up to y'all soon!

So turns out that October is just kind of a crappy month excluding Halloween. Money's getting pretty tight for me, and while I'll be alright if I don't get any support, I could really use some right about now. Paychecks have been in bad situations and there have been charges necessary that have kind of caught me by surprise. If you can find it in your heart to be generous and help me out, I would GREATLY appreciate it. x3x

Weh.

https://ko-fi.com/alsnapz

Peep peep peep!
Workin' on Jadros some.
https://picarto.tv/Alsnapz

Yee we doin' that streamin' thing
workin' on a DRAGON
https://picarto.tv/Alsnapz

https://www.patreon.com/AlsnapzBird
It's just about the same as my last go-around; except now it's 3$ to get into the patron Discord.

If monthly support isn't your thing and you prefer something more direct, then I also have a Ko-fi!
https://ko-fi.com/alsnapz

As of this point I'm going to try to do regular streams each week, either on Thursday or Friday. This week it's going to be today, Friday, at 6pm CST! Come hop on in, I'm going to be working on dragons!

At some point I'm going to have to rewrite the descriptions for the two I8U posts ;3;

Also, turns out you can absolutely 100% post a journal without any content in the body. Good to know.

Oh also, I guess I got a patreon set up. However now there's some kinda review process that I don't remember there being before, and I don't have anything set up reward-wise. I'm thinking I'll do similar to what I did before; regularish updates on a discord server for easy retrieval. However, I'm tempted somewhat to paywall that.

Either paywall the discord, or paywall the chat server on the discord. I'm not really sure yet, I'm sure y'all have some opinions on that.