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Isolation Story Time!
Posted 5 years agoSo yeah! I've managed to fight against my natural shyness and partecipate the wonderful night just passed, this Friday. My impressions are still fresh and i can't say enough loud how beautiful and emotional has been this cute and wholesome event. Living in Italy, it's always hard to find a solid community of ABDL, or at least, that's what my experience with this kind of attempts of reach out and find friends or people who share this powerful inner kid which dwells inside all of us. Maybe it's just me being dumb again and not coping with my difficulties online (usually i'm a pretty extrovert person, but on the internet i instantly lose my ability to socialize properly because of reasons, i suppose).
Back to the main topic, i've been lurking in the backchat the whole evening, listening to music, people telling stories and talented others sharing their experiences and even just showing off their shirts and plushies. I felt... part of something bigger, something softer and warmer. I can't even explain it, but i suggest EVERYONE of you littles to try, even just staying there, without the cam or the mic on, just... experiencing. I will just say that at the end of the night i felt so good inside my chest that i unsilenced my mic and i thanked all the partecipants. All those good people there... they gave me the courage.
I really felt little again, like if i was watching a bunch of my classmates doing stuff and presenting their wonderful talents.
Also, they've a charity found raising; the event itself it's completely free, but you can donate troughout their Giving Circle, and every money gained by the found will go helping people struggling in these difficult times. It's a remarkable initiative!
If you want to know a little bit more about the IsoStoryTime i suggest you taking a little trip to their Fetlife Group Page or, if you don't have an account on it, through their Twitter or Instagram pages.
EDIT: Wonderful news! Now Isolation Story Time has its own site!
Well, that was about all! I hope i'll se you next Friday, because i'll be there for sure!
Chanx signing out!
Back to the main topic, i've been lurking in the backchat the whole evening, listening to music, people telling stories and talented others sharing their experiences and even just showing off their shirts and plushies. I felt... part of something bigger, something softer and warmer. I can't even explain it, but i suggest EVERYONE of you littles to try, even just staying there, without the cam or the mic on, just... experiencing. I will just say that at the end of the night i felt so good inside my chest that i unsilenced my mic and i thanked all the partecipants. All those good people there... they gave me the courage.
I really felt little again, like if i was watching a bunch of my classmates doing stuff and presenting their wonderful talents.
Also, they've a charity found raising; the event itself it's completely free, but you can donate troughout their Giving Circle, and every money gained by the found will go helping people struggling in these difficult times. It's a remarkable initiative!
If you want to know a little bit more about the IsoStoryTime i suggest you taking a little trip to their Fetlife Group Page or, if you don't have an account on it, through their Twitter or Instagram pages.
EDIT: Wonderful news! Now Isolation Story Time has its own site!
Well, that was about all! I hope i'll se you next Friday, because i'll be there for sure!
Chanx signing out!
Surprise! I'm Back!
Posted 5 years agoHello hello, good people of the past!
I'm finally back, and with a new fursona too!
Yeah, the whole Alvin stuff was pretty old of mine and, woah... i think it's like... five years? Basically, without telling you the story of my boring life, i stopped drawing following a bunch of self-esteem problems and my crippling depression going for the worse.
Well, now i'm definitly feeling a lot better (even if i still think my drawings are pretty much hot garbage) and i re-started to draw. I don't know if i keep doing it, but for now i'll share with you the results of my newly found sparkle of passion.
A disclaimer for the ones who used to follow me and, unbelievably to me, liked my goofy works. I'VE NOT IMPROVEN IN THE PAST YEARS, since i stopped completely to draw, so, if you used to like my old crooked pieces, you'll find familiar with my style and stuff. I'm not the best around, of course, i just want to sure the things i'm working on and be pretty chill about them. I'm not a real artist, just a funky skunk-boar with a passion~
Oh, call me Chanx now! That's my name, but since FA doesn't allow to change profile's nickname, well... i'll work with what i have, right? I'll soon upload my new sona in all his majestic ugliness, so don't fret about it.
One last thing! One of the reasons i re-started to draw is because of my big friend
who's indeed a real artist and a good fellow of mine. If you please would like to just go visit him and, if you enjoy his works, givin' faves and watches, it would be super awesome. He's helping me improving with my drawing and we created that collab account to just share his beautiful pictures. Please, give him some love, because he deserves it!
And from Chanx this is all!
Hope to live longer this time and to be more a part of this community!
I'm finally back, and with a new fursona too!
Yeah, the whole Alvin stuff was pretty old of mine and, woah... i think it's like... five years? Basically, without telling you the story of my boring life, i stopped drawing following a bunch of self-esteem problems and my crippling depression going for the worse.
Well, now i'm definitly feeling a lot better (even if i still think my drawings are pretty much hot garbage) and i re-started to draw. I don't know if i keep doing it, but for now i'll share with you the results of my newly found sparkle of passion.
A disclaimer for the ones who used to follow me and, unbelievably to me, liked my goofy works. I'VE NOT IMPROVEN IN THE PAST YEARS, since i stopped completely to draw, so, if you used to like my old crooked pieces, you'll find familiar with my style and stuff. I'm not the best around, of course, i just want to sure the things i'm working on and be pretty chill about them. I'm not a real artist, just a funky skunk-boar with a passion~
Oh, call me Chanx now! That's my name, but since FA doesn't allow to change profile's nickname, well... i'll work with what i have, right? I'll soon upload my new sona in all his majestic ugliness, so don't fret about it.
One last thing! One of the reasons i re-started to draw is because of my big friend
who's indeed a real artist and a good fellow of mine. If you please would like to just go visit him and, if you enjoy his works, givin' faves and watches, it would be super awesome. He's helping me improving with my drawing and we created that collab account to just share his beautiful pictures. Please, give him some love, because he deserves it!And from Chanx this is all!
Hope to live longer this time and to be more a part of this community!
An Advice..
Posted 11 years agoHello lil furs, grown ups furs and eveyone else. I write this journal because i want to ask you an advice. I know that i don't usually write journals and that i don't know the majority of you, but i'm hoping that someone will read this post and just leave a word or two. In any case, thank you so much for reading what i'll write.. i really appreciate it *hugglez*.
I'm experiencing a serious "turning poin" in my life, if i can call it like this. It's about a month that i left home after the umptheenth discussion with my parents, a conflict transformed in a real fight, because my father decided it was cool to put his hands on me. For short, the day after that fight i just fled home like a thief and went to a friend.
Now.. these times i'm having experience with a very bad depression, the one you wake up in the morning and you just ask yourself why you're waking up again. My relationship with my family went worse and worse since that moment that i described up there. Why this? Well.. i don't know if someone of you have passed through that singular day when you suddenly stop yourself and think: "Wait.. but.. i'm just doing with my life the things that my mom wants.. i'm just surviving in this world for accomplish what others are expecting from me" THAT moment is the moment when every crumble in ruins on you, because you're not anything anymore, you've been for 22 years what the others wanted you to be, and now that you realize that.. you're simply nothing and it's hard to call yourself "someone".
From that day.. i just keep waking up, going through boring days without sense at all, trying to smile to the others and fake that i'm okay, or no telling anything at all.
Yesterday, i log up on my FB and i saw a message from a group of friends who just raged up with me because i'm not letting know anything to them of this story, and for them i just want to making suffer the one i love. I tryed to explain them that i'm just excluding them from my escape because i didn't want to hurt them, but they keep rage at me, and that's making me feel more and more miserable.
I keep asking myself what to do now, what i did wrong.. if i'm really doing something so bad and stupid. I just wanted some peace and some small happiness and the people who should understand me better just get mad to me because "i don't want to tell them about my problems, i'm a coward just fleeding from them, an asshole with no respect of their friendship.." and so much more.
I ALWAYS think about myself like a person with a difficult time in every relationship.. now i'm getting sure that i'm a totally disaster.
I feel worth nothing, just a waste of space in this world and still i'm trying to smile, to be.. "normal" with others, to keep my pain inside me. I just decided to not answer any of my parent's messages, but they involved in the situation all my friends, so now it's a messier situation than before.
I really don't know what to do now, i keep going away from friend to friend because i feel like a shit to be a burden for them, but i don't know either what to do with my life, because i'm not anyone, and it's like if i was a child, with the whole childhood in front of him for developing a "self". I'm 22.. and i don't know anymore who i am, what to do, how to relationship with people i love.. how to live.
If you red this all.. well.. thank you very much, even if you decide not to comment. Maybe.. if someone will experience my situation, after read this he will not commit the same errors that i'm falling into them.
Thanks also to anyone who decide to answer this journal. It means so much for me.. believe that.
An hug to everyone and stay always happy and bouncy.
Alvin
I'm experiencing a serious "turning poin" in my life, if i can call it like this. It's about a month that i left home after the umptheenth discussion with my parents, a conflict transformed in a real fight, because my father decided it was cool to put his hands on me. For short, the day after that fight i just fled home like a thief and went to a friend.
Now.. these times i'm having experience with a very bad depression, the one you wake up in the morning and you just ask yourself why you're waking up again. My relationship with my family went worse and worse since that moment that i described up there. Why this? Well.. i don't know if someone of you have passed through that singular day when you suddenly stop yourself and think: "Wait.. but.. i'm just doing with my life the things that my mom wants.. i'm just surviving in this world for accomplish what others are expecting from me" THAT moment is the moment when every crumble in ruins on you, because you're not anything anymore, you've been for 22 years what the others wanted you to be, and now that you realize that.. you're simply nothing and it's hard to call yourself "someone".
From that day.. i just keep waking up, going through boring days without sense at all, trying to smile to the others and fake that i'm okay, or no telling anything at all.
Yesterday, i log up on my FB and i saw a message from a group of friends who just raged up with me because i'm not letting know anything to them of this story, and for them i just want to making suffer the one i love. I tryed to explain them that i'm just excluding them from my escape because i didn't want to hurt them, but they keep rage at me, and that's making me feel more and more miserable.
I keep asking myself what to do now, what i did wrong.. if i'm really doing something so bad and stupid. I just wanted some peace and some small happiness and the people who should understand me better just get mad to me because "i don't want to tell them about my problems, i'm a coward just fleeding from them, an asshole with no respect of their friendship.." and so much more.
I ALWAYS think about myself like a person with a difficult time in every relationship.. now i'm getting sure that i'm a totally disaster.
I feel worth nothing, just a waste of space in this world and still i'm trying to smile, to be.. "normal" with others, to keep my pain inside me. I just decided to not answer any of my parent's messages, but they involved in the situation all my friends, so now it's a messier situation than before.
I really don't know what to do now, i keep going away from friend to friend because i feel like a shit to be a burden for them, but i don't know either what to do with my life, because i'm not anyone, and it's like if i was a child, with the whole childhood in front of him for developing a "self". I'm 22.. and i don't know anymore who i am, what to do, how to relationship with people i love.. how to live.
If you red this all.. well.. thank you very much, even if you decide not to comment. Maybe.. if someone will experience my situation, after read this he will not commit the same errors that i'm falling into them.
Thanks also to anyone who decide to answer this journal. It means so much for me.. believe that.
An hug to everyone and stay always happy and bouncy.
Alvin
Every Little Memory Resting Calm in Me...
Posted 11 years agoToday i experienced one of my so called "deep moments of memories". I wanna share with my watchers a bit of myself, if you want to stay with me (and with my childish english) just a couple of minutes. Okay.. i'm just returned from my cousin home; he invited me for a pizza and a little fun playing Magic (that i love). We had a great time, and a lot of funny moments, than.. i went at home, walking trought alleys of my little hamlet, and i start to think "Wow.. i miss the times when at saturday evening i went to the church-catechism play ground, and meet with my friends to play at football, Yu-Gi-Oh cards, and also Pokèmon Ruby and Sapphire". Yeah.. i started to feel nostalgic, in a sort of way, because i remembered crearly what we used to do. We had our private "Elite Four" to beat, with the innocence of all children, no competitive battling or things like that.. only.. pokemons we like, with strange movesets (like Thunder on Kyogre lol). We had fun.. a lot.. we cried, got angry and rejoiced for our victories. Dunno why.. but.. while i was walking on the desertic street of a saturday night.. i started to desire again to turn back the clock of time, and live again those wonderful moments. When the three Regis where the most mysterious secret of all the game, when we traded pokemon and cards with the skills of true merchants, when we where so simple, and at the same time complicated. I hope i can explain myself, even with all the errors of my bad typing.
I think that.. these feelings are almost common in a lot of us babyfurs, that's because we've a child heart, and.. we want to return children, right?
Just wanted to share with you this little piece of me, and.. if you want to reply, or say something about this.. just do it, i don't judge anyone. In the other case, thanks anyway for reading this.. i really appreciate it.
Alvin