Saw this on  k0suna's page and had to share. Very thought-provoking.

Caps lock cause I FINALLY found the good video of my winning performance at Fur the 'More this year.  freezeframe did a fantastic job at recording the entire show, so please go give him a +watch and be sure to check out the Fur Factor competition in it's entirety!

Without further ado, here you guys go.
The infamous performance that made Uncle Kage cry.

I Dreamed A Dream - Les Miserables



_{please ignore my stupid face(s)}

 mortisreptus is opening for some (almost) emergency commissions. He really could use the cash so he doesn't end up homeless over the summer. Plus his art is pretty fan-fucking-tastic.

Check it out!

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4621561

Luck keeps kicking me in the ass, but it's worth a shot anyway.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4600903/

If you ever want to really know what depression feels like, read these:

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.c.....epression.html
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.c.....-part-two.html

It's meant to have a comedic twist, but it still tells the story and gets the point across.

I have several things that I want to try and sell (Ticky and I could really use the cash right now). Does anyone have any experience with selling furniture or other things via craigslist or anything else? I'm kind of lost when it comes to all this!!!

for new icon by

Also, Ticky's partially moving accounts from  neurotichyena to  ticky so you'll see me linking to that account more often now.

s,
Ari

Just had a friend of several years text me saying her parents are sending her to PCAD (Pennsylvania College of Art and Design) next fall. It was so hard to fake excitement for her. I'm almost glad that she told me over text message, so she couldn't see or hear the envy in me.

I shouldn't be jealous, or bitter, or anything other than happy for her, but I've had just about all my dreams ripped from my fingers over the past 18 months. No University BA, no study abroad, no promotion (at a job I now hate), no familial support, no dance classes, no language school....

I can't be happy for her when I have such hate, bitterness, and jealousy from my own unfortunate situation.

Working all day on costumes for Fur The More. I'm signed into skype if anyone would like to keep me company~ :D

ari.sparks

Comment here and I will...

1) Tell you something I learned about you by looking at your FA page for 10 seconds.
2) Tell you a color you remind me of.
3) Tell you my first memory of you.
4) Ask you a question.
5) Tell you something I like about you.
6) Tell you the object that is in front of me.
7) Dare you to do this yourself in your own journal!

Finally reached my Friday, so I think I'm gonna treat myself to some guild wars and drinks. Aw yeah. ;D Hit me up, Mirielle Whitewind.1680

Where are you staying?
Hunt Valley Inn

What day are you getting there?
Friday after 12ish.

Departure?
Sunday eveningish... we live close by anyway.

Transportation?
Little gay car. :B

Who will you be rooming with?
and !!

Who will you hang out with during the convention?
, , hopefully as well! And I'd love to make new friends.

Will you be suiting?
Sadly, no suit yet. ;_; Will be wearing Ari's tail, wig, and accessories, though! (Granted I get this wig fixed)

Which suits?
See above lol.

What is your gender?
Female

How tall are you?
5'9"

Are you taken? Are you looking for a 'mate'?
I have a stinky yena butt and a ring on that finger XD

Can I talk to you?
Of course!! I'm SUPER friendly, but pretty shy... just be patient, I suppose?

Can I touch you?
Um... not out of the blue? I don't mind the friendly hugs, but I'm shy enough as it is. At least talk to me some first, and then we can see? I am quite an excited hugger... XD

How can I find you?
DAT TAIL BELL. Also, I'm a giant. Also, I'm a giant blob of pink and white most times. I'll be with Ticky 99.9% of the time, and I will have my badge(s) on as well~

Can I visit your room?
Only if invited, thank you.

Can I buy you drinks?
Hell yeah. I never actually had my 21st birthday party, so I figured I might as well have it be at Furthemore while I'm still 21! (Ticky will be watching out for me, I'm sure. :P)

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
I'm cool with hugs most of the time, but this cuddle monster is Ticky-only.

Are you nice?
I'd like to think so! Like I said, I'm very friendly, but shy and easily overwhelmed sometimes. Just give me some time to warm up.

Do you have an artist table?
This kitty can't draw worth shit. :'D

Will you be going to parties?
I don't know?

Will you be performing?
I'm hoping to be in Fur Factor. :)

Do you do drugs/drink/smoke?
Drink sometimes, but absolutely no drugs or smoking. Any type of smoke irritates my asthma to no end, so please don't be offended if I move away from you if you're smoking. .___.;

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Shout and wave! :D You can call me either Ariella (arr-ee-ELL-ah) or Ari for short. Most people tend to call me Ari, though. :) I'm pretty derpy, so if I don't respond I promise I'm not ignoring you, but I probably didn't hear you or was totally off in Ari-space. XD

What/where will you be eating?
I have no idea. Suggestions?

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
Depends on where I'm going and with who. :)

Can I draw in your sketchbook?
I actually might get a small sketchbook for doodles and notes from new friends. :)

Can I take your picture?
Not without my permission, please. I can be very camera shy, as well as shy about where my picture is being posted online...

What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
Have fun and relax! Also, try all of the specialty drinks, hang out, maybe get a new badge, and make some new friends. :)

~Ari

How hard it would be to pack up life, move, and start over away from here.

You hear fantastic stories about starting fresh and new in a new state, and never looking back. I want that. I want to move away from this drama, familial hate and distance, and find a new place to call home. But then I know stories of people who move and have not been able to find work for 3+ years since they've moved.

Is it worth it to stay where you are just to be somewhat stable, or is it worth jumping ship, taking a chance, and running towards new potential opportunities?

Pack up everything, start a fresh new life in a new town.... New home, new job, new me...

Note the sarcasm.

Someone made a counterfeit credit card off my account. Don't know how they got a hold of my number, but now I'm all paranoid and shit.

Fantastic... Time to delete all the accounts, all the passwords, and buckle down the security....

Things will never let up, will they?

The things I'm feeling right now are completely indescribable.

I've been at my job for 5 years, trying to get a promotion for 3 of them; fighting, going to meetings, working harder and harder, complaining as minimally as possible....
And they just promoted a guy that's been there for less than a year.

They also kept it quiet around me. I'm not stupid. I can tell you're talking about a promotion when you're talking about switching shifts, getting along with people, and the like. I know the games my boss plays when you're trying to get promoted. I know he tells you to watch your step around certain people who may be "competing" for the same job.

I feel a bit betrayed. Definitely strung along by my boss. I feel put down. I feel like a failure.

Why am I no longer management material to them? Was I ever? Am I always just going to be stuck here?

I can't support my family on my current wages. We're barely getting by, and my bitchy mother keeps threatening to take away my health insurance, my car, my care for my dog, etc. I can't go back to school yet because we can't afford the hit to the income.

I hate this so much. I don't want to do anything anymore right now. Why should I? I always fail or get stepped on or left behind. I'm nothing but money to my mom anymore. I feel like she doesn't care about me for any other reason.

I call bullshit on that old adage, "Life never gives you more than you can handle." I can't handle all of this at once. I'm done.

Completely done.

is holding a raffle! They have a really awesome, unique style and it's definitely worth checking out!

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4389681/

Saturday night, Ticky and I ventured up to Delaware for Furbowl 43! After a 2 hour drive which included me almost snipping my fingertip (trying to trim stray threads from my tail), getting lost off of 95 for an extra 20 minutes, almost not having enough cash to get through the tolls home, taking a death turn into the bowling alley, and me being VERY stressed! I hate traffic and crazy car rides.

Anyway, it was a lot of fun! I was really nervous, honestly. >> I can be pretty shy and it was a HUGE group at the alley! Also, bowling. I'm bad at it. XD I managed to win the first game (by a fluke 1 point) but I sucked the second game until I was told that I was bowling wrong.... whoopsies.

The best part was getting to meet and hang out with a lot of really fantastic fluffs!
was a dear and helped me get un-shy :)
and , while we didn't get to see them much, were lovely as always!
Got to meet and hang out with and her sweet boo.
And taught me how to properly bowl.

Hopefully we'll get to hang with more locals soon!

Thank you guys for making our first furbowl awesome. :D

Thank you guys for all your hugs last night. They really helped me smile. *hugs*

And now that I'm not so pissed off and upset and totally off the wall, here's what happened yesterday.

Short version: incredibly rough day, ending in spending roughly $525 on my car. Everything seemed to go wrong, things were a total mess, and I felt crushed. Life was so suffocating and overwhelming, and I was ready to check out on vacation. Things are looking better now (Ticky and I are still able to go to Furbowl tomorrow, our only budgeted "fun" thing this paycheck, yay!) but in case you wanted the long version, here it is.

WARNING LONG STORY AHEAD!!

Two weeks ago, I blew out a tire on a major (see 65+ mph) highway while taking my mother to the hospital. I've been trying to get four new tires and an alignment since then, but money and time didn't ever line up. Finally I found an AWESOME deal: $250 for all four tires, then $195 for the labor/installation/alignment. That was close to my minimal budget and I was stoked. Plus, the shop was a place that my mom has worked with for YEARS with her company, and I was very comfortable going to them.

Thursday comes 'round, and I take my car into the shop. The mechanic comes out about a half hour later and tells me that the company I ordered my tires from sent me the incorrect size, 14in instead of 15in. Luckily, he tells me, they have the correct size in stock at the shop.

To the tune of about $400 plus the aforementioned labor charge. On top of the $250 I already dropped for the apparently wrong sized tires. Tried looking up the return policy for the company, and they did accept returns, but were going to charge me a 40% restocking fee.

Bull. Shit.

I was looking at almost $700. Money I most definitely did not have. The $400 was pushing it, but I knew I couldn't afford a second whole set of tires.

I'm not going to lie, I started crying in the shop. I was so distraught. I didn't know what to do; they had already started working on my car, and I couldn't leave without them finishing the work.

The GM of the shop came out and talked to me after a few minutes. They ended up cutting me a deal where they bought the wrong tires from me (so I didn't have to go back through with that 40% bullshit restocking fee from the other company), discounting my alignment, and picking up the correct tires for me from another shop about 20 minutes away. They were fantastic. Kind, patient, and helpful.

I eventually did get my car mostly fixed. However, it's now missing a rim, and the steering wheel feels improperly aligned.... This car is my baby. My first and only car I've owned. It makes me so sad to have bad things happen to it. :(

Here's hoping things will continue looking up.

i'm ready to just give up after today.

/flips a table and curls in bed

Working on setting up our studio workshop space today. Anyone want to keep me company on skype??

ari.sparks

Ticky and I have been working hard to finish our living room/workspace over the past two weeks or so. It's just down to me finishing the organizing around our two temporary desks so we can get everything moved in. The best part?

This means we can finally start working on our fursuiting stuff! :D I'm excited to break out my sewing machine again to work on patterns and teach Ticky some basic things. We're going foam shopping today (hell yeah for awesome sales!!) to start work on some basic feet paws and the like. I'm really excited to start this new creative adventure... even though I know it's not going to be that easy.

Plus, I love organizing things and making them pretty so I'm happy to finish up this new, functional space in our living room! :D Hopefully it'll be put together enough that we'll get to share some pictures, and even more so when we're able to start up the works for our fursuit constructing.

Hooray for finally feeling positive about something!!!

This time of year, you usually see a very polarized opinion of the Valentine's Day holiday: either incredibly positive or incredibly negative. Personally, I think I stand kind of in the middle.

Today's celebration of Valentine's is very much a hallmark holiday. Nothing especially romantic happened that day. I think every day should be a chance to make someone's heart flutter or be extra kind or romantic. When you're in a relationship, enjoy the little things that happen between the two of you. Small kisses, or errands, or even just the perfect pick me up dinner or talk when you come home from work.

Personally, I'm a helpless romantic. I love the idea of flowers and love notes and special dinners with romantic nights. It makes me feel extra special. The little extra that reminds you that you have someone wonderful in your life. But I still think that Valentine's day makes such a stress on couples to make the perfect night. At my work, all the girls are aflutter with "What are you doing/getting/wanting tomorrow for Valentine's Day?"

I hope everyone has a fantastic day, single, taken, or in between. Remember that everyone has at least one person that loves them. :) <3

~Ari

anyone want to chat? Looking for something to distract myself from everything. :(


skype: ari.sparks

I've finally got my urge to create again. Partially, I think it's from being so sick and so tired right now. XD

Mostly, I do little crafty projects. I help Ticky with her sewing, patterning, and I'm working on my own project with some molded horns. But recently, I've delved back into a long term project with another friend, in which I co-write and design for a comic series we're working on.

Would anyone be interested in reading some of my little drabbles of writing? Most of the things I've been working on are for this comic project (non-furry), but I do write some short stories of the furry nature, too. I'm a bit self-conscious about my writing, which is why I've hesitated to upload anything in the past.

So my question to you, my small amount of watchers, is if you would want to see me upload some of my writings? If so, furry, non-furry, or you don't care?

Hugs and fluffs from a sick kitty,
Ari

So, I have recurring back problems. A specialist I see diagnosed me with spondylylosis, which is hard for me to explain, but he just put me on a daily Aleve regimen. However, recently, it's been really bad. Hard to move bad. Aleve doesn't help. It doesn't even feel muscular. The pain is around my spine. It's been radiating higher, too, as well as running down my hip and into left leg. It's all worse on the left side, and nothing I'm doing is helping. :(

I'm hesitant to see the doctor again, because he always seems to do the same thing: tell me to take daily Aleve (...which I haven't been doing regularly).

It's so frustrating. I don't know what's wrong. By the end of my shift, I'm so achy and stiff and blegh.

Rant finished... I guess.