https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9263601/

thank you all so much for the support

https://www.paypal.me/zezuar
https://www.paypal.me/zezuar
https://www.paypal.me/zezuar

Ok so , i'll cut right to it because i'm not sure how to word it. I'll try by listing bullet points. basically winging it

My birthday is coming up and i'm having anxiety and worries about it like every year. (September 30th)

Every year my family pretty much forget/doesn't care (like not even saying "happy birthday zez" ). I have this memory of trying to remind my dad that it was my birthday and he just shrugged and said "yea , I know." and i didn't push any further.

Every year about a month after my birthday its my younger sister's birthday. She gets plenty of things , a phone, party, cake , money , and a few gifts.

When i confront them (family) about this the answer boils down to "do it yourself/why should we get you anything"

It's always depressing and i don't really get anything. I feel selfish for even wanting anything sometimes but then they get whatever they want and then i get a but envious/depressed because of "what could've been"

I don't have a job (yet. I've been applying everywhere since forever and i think i have a decent chance at a recent one i had an interview for. i never called back and they just told me to wait for them) and thus don't have money. (and if you ask about "What about all the art you get!" its like 95% gifts/raffles/requests , Watching so many people lets me see so many raffles and open request journals , its just there, i don't beg , i don't ask , people are just very generous.)

Basically what i'm asking is... Is it okay to ask for donation so i can get myself something nice for once?
I feel terrible for asking and i feel like " I don't even deserve to ask for money from people, why would they care, who would even spare money for nothing in return"

I have a lot of doubts and fears about posting this. Hoping it'll go well.

I'm not posting a donation link unless i feel like its okay to ask.


EDIT, Due to overwhelming support , I'll post a donation link
https://www.paypal.me/zezuar
https://www.paypal.me/zezuar
https://www.paypal.me/zezuar
(please choose "family and friends option because i fear charge backs ;3;)

Someone help me make my profile look pretty, idk what i can give as a thanks but maybe i can think of something x.x


and what i mean by "pretty" is like, neat , organized , and stylized i suppose, sort of like my friend's
https://www.furaffinity.net/user/hiddenman/

if that were possible, thanks for the help/advice in advace

I don't really know where to begin.

I'm depressed a lot , I'm lonely irl, feel ignored and all that stuff you hear from everyone ever.

The main issue is wanting to get away from my family, They are incredibly neglectful and forceful with their decisions. Abusive verbally , ignores or probably don't care when I ask for help doing literally anything. Excuses for everything and anything they don't want to do unless they want it which is never. They always get things to benefit themselves and never anyone else. They put on a face of kindness on the outside but they're incredibly toxic , neglectful and hateful. But thats enough ranting.

My point is , I'm lost on what to do, I can't do anything. I can't go out, I can't have friends, I can't have nice things, No money ever. (Side note, most my art is gifted or raffled prizes so its not me "spending too much on art", i spend literally nothing on it). I'm stuck at home all day on a computer, putting out applications for jobs and hoping someone will hire me. The recent job i had was a pretty good one but they kept making me stay overtime way later in the night against my will and not even pay me for it and expecting me to be perfect at everything.

I get upset deep down seeing all the friends I talk to online go to cons , hangouts , meeting their friends, getting fursuits and have really nice things in general and I think to myself that I'd never get any of it because I'm stuck and worthless, can't do shit about it. I need to get out of here and actually have the freedom to get what I want. Like a job , actual money so I can buy nice things and actually live a little instead of being on a computer 24/7, Its really my only source of anything and everything. I'm extremely tired of being depressed and lonely all day , everyday. I need to be out of here.

What do I do anymore, I've tried everything, talking to them , asking for help , asking for help from others, which I'm doing right now anyway, getting a job and trying to save money. Hoping someone will take me away and help me get on my feet and starting a new life. I know it'll be hard, I know it is hard, Idk what I'm doing with most things , but i want to learn and get away from these disgustingly selfish people who can't care for anything but themselves.






tl;dr I want to get away from family , what do i do anymore, someone please save me

Am i popular yet :VVVVVVVV (not that i care honestly)


but thanks people <3

idk , i can't do anything to celebrate, if i had actual money i'd probably do a raffle and get a pic with the winner 🤔

 Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~  Kelpy~



Finally convinced him to make a proper fa , so if you like those pencil drawings check him out <3 He'll be posting his own stuff there soon!

This is basically a copy paste of this journal ( https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9096289/ ) , i'm just re-advertising it because it'd be nice to have some new people around.


So I have TWO discord servers. I kinda keep forgetting to advertise the existence of my servers. One being ab/dl themed and the other growth themed. Join if you'd like. Feel free to ask questions in the comments below.

so this link is the one to the AB/DL server if you'd like to join. (Zez's Hangout) ((Now 18+ only entry))

https://discord.gg/XnUGzGp
https://discord.gg/XnUGzGp
https://discord.gg/XnUGzGp
https://discord.gg/XnUGzGp
https://discord.gg/XnUGzGp
https://discord.gg/XnUGzGp



And this link is for the Inflation/fat/growth server (basically anything big) if you'd like to join (Zez's Fluff house)

https://discord.gg/tGTawpF
https://discord.gg/tGTawpF
https://discord.gg/tGTawpF
https://discord.gg/tGTawpF
https://discord.gg/tGTawpF
https://discord.gg/tGTawpF



Thank you for your time!~


The reason for the split is some are uncomfortable with the other so i'd like them not to mix and cause some issues

 Zezuar personal art account <3

my dad buys a washerteria laundrymat thing. and he's trying to sell off the store he has currently which is our income and he wants me and my brothers to pay all the bills and i said i can't pay because i barely make anything as is and he even said what i make is mine and he has nothign to do with it multiple times and once again he lied. and he says if i can't pay "you can get the fuck out of my house"
i'm scared , idk what to do

They've (my family) always been abusive and lie to me and make false promises and take and take and take. They get whatever they want but i can't ever have anything with out them doing something about it.

I just don't know, I've been wanting to move away for the longest time but i'm scared and i don't make enough to move out on my own, i just got a job at a restaurant 2 weeks ago and work off tips. I don't make that much and they want to take that too even though they said multiple times when i get a job its my money and i decide what to do with it. Another lie. I don't know if he was serious about getting out but he always threatens with this stuff. He's selfish and greedy and everyone else in the family sees that but just doesn't really do anything about it. He just gets angry and ignores them until he feels like talking again. very childish...


TL;DR tired of my abusive family taking everything from me and looking for options.

on the off chance people give me money for literally nothing :VVVVVVV

if i do get some it'd probably go to something productive , like saving for long term things like a car or moving out , maybe some art here and there but I won't spend more than a set amount (if at all, most likely not).


So yea , they're on if you want. you can use them or not , i don't mind , your money after all \ owo /

I use to have FA default to full view images when i clicked them and now it only shows the scaled down version unless I click it to go full view.

AND I CAN'T FIND THE SETTING THAT USE TO BE THERE TO DEFAULT TO FULL VIEW IMAGES AAAAAAAAAA

help ;w;

So a bit ago I received a plush of my dragon sona seen here: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/30923188/

So lets begin with the maker. https://www.instagram.com/zelly.belly.stag/ they mainly go through instagram but we went through discord at first , then insta , I'll explain why later in the explanation.

I didn't mention the maker at first because I didn't want to make them seem bad , they aren't terribly bad but there were issues.

So I chose this maker because a close friend of mine knows them IRL and has classes with them. So I thought that was a deal with security and he vouched for the quality.

The price for the size given was cheap , $70 for a nearly 2 foot tall plush with a long tail.

So the commission was "started" in September 2018, Zelly (the maker) stated that it's be done with in a few weeks because it'd be quick. A few weeks pass and I ask about the progress. Not started. That's ok , they might've gotten busy.

Days and days pass and its October, still not started, occasionally ask and rarely get a response. Around November I start thinking to get it refunded but i didn't say anything at that point, they said it'd be done by December. December comes along and all they've done was make an arm and cut a few pieces. They say they'd be done by christmas, Christmas comes and its not done and has no progress made. They say by new years. and the same story. At this point I say I wanted progress or a refund. Barely any contact, no progress , no pics , no updates. They agree to make progress. They show me some more sewn pieces and some progress but then its back to the same, no contact / updates. (they stopped answering their discord and I found their instagram. where we started to talk again but it was still the same.)

Skipping to March 2019 they want to finish it quickly because they're going on vacation to Japan. I state that i want it done before they go or else I want a refund. The time comes and its not done. Still a pile of fabric and a few parts. They tell me they handed the project off to their friend Blix , now Blix was great with updates and work , constant contact and update pictures. The plush was finally done and shipped. Although the postal service lost the package for a week I eventually got it.


Build Quality

The quality is just ok.

The body shape is fine but the tail is lop sided and crooked , the arms were sewn and glued on fine but the arm Zelly made is much better than the one Blix made, Zelly's has a hand and thumb, no paw just sort of a clump hand while blix's is sort of a nub.

The legs are parts on their one hastily sewn on to the sides , only featuring two scratch marks instead of the three on my sona. The legs and foot are uneven and nearly fell off a few times, luckily it was sewn on a lot more by a family member.

The handkerchief replaced the original plan for a heart collar , they did get a heart collar just never put it on or made it fit and i didn't receive it.

The eyes are painted on patches and is actually pretty good.

The muzzle band that goes down the body doesn't go down the body , instead it wraps around the maw and gives his head a weird shape.

The ears are smaller than expected but the horns are good.

Markings are pretty good other than the legs and tail being a little uneven.

The mane is alright but the front end is a little short and the back end doesn't cover the tail tip.

Overall i'd give it a 7/10

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9130661/ - cool raffle from a good artist with few watchers

check them out

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9096289/

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9120765/ a little raffle thingy uwu

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/31245537/

yay i guess, another milestone x3

hope you all enjoy the art i get~

So I have TWO discord servers. I kinda keep forgetting to advertise the existence of my servers. One being ab/dl themed and the other growth themed. Join if you'd like. Feel free to ask questions in the comments below.

so this link is the one to the AB/DL server if you'd like to join. (Zez's Hangout)

https://discord.gg/XnUGzGp
https://discord.gg/XnUGzGp
https://discord.gg/XnUGzGp
https://discord.gg/XnUGzGp
https://discord.gg/XnUGzGp
https://discord.gg/XnUGzGp



And this link is for the Inflation/fat/growth server (basically anything big) if you'd like to join (Zez's Fluff house)

https://discord.gg/tGTawpF
https://discord.gg/tGTawpF
https://discord.gg/tGTawpF
https://discord.gg/tGTawpF
https://discord.gg/tGTawpF
https://discord.gg/tGTawpF



Thank you for your time!~

anyone welcome

https://discord.gg/tGTawpF
https://discord.gg/tGTawpF
https://discord.gg/tGTawpF
https://discord.gg/tGTawpF
https://discord.gg/tGTawpF

Hope you'll like it

Will be used for my own drawn art.  Zezuar  Zezuar  Zezuar  Zezuar  Zezuar  Zezuar  Zezuar  Zezuar  Zezuar  Zezuar

and a link to the art https://www.furaffinity.net/view/30315806/

enjoy or whatever

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1B.....ature=youtu.be WATCH IT AAAAAAAA

I deleted all the a's they were pushing shit off screen lol

Thanks people who like my character/content
I'd love to hear opinions on the art i get or my character or anything you'd like to say to me~
thanks for 400~

I feel like a bunch of forward slashes and a sad face is a bad thing to put on the front of my page so i'll put this there instead :u

so ask me anything at all , lewd , weird, normal , anything! I don't have much about me on my page about me and idk what to say exactly so anything you want to know i'll be happy to say~

Thanks I guess. Idk what to do about that but yay, 10,000 different accounts and guests have see the art work I get so that fuuuuuun. Enjoy yourselves and all that fun stuff. Love ya all.

yay 300 watchers! hi everyone, i wanted to thank you all first of all buuuuuuuut i want to celebrate and idk how..... maybe i can draw something ( i still suck lol) maybe a little gift to the 300th ( i know who it was), a raffle? , or any other ideas you have in mind, please let me know!~