Yeah, as the title says I officially turned 30 this day. So, I am now a pretty experienced dragon and will turn into an old dragon in just 10 years. (Well that depends what counts as old xD)


(I haven't replied to a few notes so please bear with me >>)

The following three won a slot:

ScanTraxx27
Forsaken_Of_Darkness
Speedytig

Please reach out to me with your Discord Tag so I can invite you to the server for this piece.

This is a quick raffle reminder, I am offering 3 slots! Rules are in the post itself. You can only enter if you reply to the slot(s) you would like (and if you follow me here).

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54107866/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54107866/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54107866/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54107866/

In 7 days the russian invasion of Ukraine turns 1 year old. No one knows when and how it will end and I feel like I personally havent done enough. I did what I could, wrote mails to politicians to speed up our nations support and even reported people that openly support the invasion to the police. (Yeah, thats a crime here :3)

However I feel like I am not doing enough, I spend some little money for ammo rounds and had contact with a few people on Telegram. I wanted to travel to Moldova a few times, but without anyone doing it together with me I felt insecure. Thus I helped people that organised convois with money.

I was thinking of an fund raising campaign in cooperation with an already excisting organisation that works in Ukraine. For examble "Terra Vision" from Berlin supplys up to 2000 meals/day in Ukraine, right now the mobile kitchen is in Cherson. However they need a lot of money to be able to keep it running; 2000 meals cost up to 3.100€.

I am thinking that we, as community, might be able to plan something. Like an charity auction to get some money? What would you think about that?

2022 was a crappy year from my view. Lets see what the future brings, hope is certainly there for a brighter future.

The year brought me a lot of nice things, e.g. I finished two contracts at an particle accelerator facility and visited two new Nuclear Power Plants. I got an additional little bonus (yearly review). Other then that not much happened, well excluding the usual drama and furry fandom things we all know waaaaaay too good.


After 10 years+ of not leaving my nation I finally left it to visit a friend in Prague. Thats at least something x3
Welp, happy new year. It cant get really worse for us, right?

This dragon deeply misses his human friend. Its unlikely he will see this, but deep in my heart I hope that a mirracle happens.

I miss you.

Stolen/copied from  _Red-IzaK

Eurofurence 26
August 24 - 28.2022
Berlin, Germany

Where are you staying?
Estrel with  _ScanTraxx27


Means of transportation?
Car

What is your gender?
Male, most likely

Relationship Status:
Open, not looking

How old are you?
27

How tall are you?
I honestly dont know, around 1.8m maybe?

Which languages do you speak?
German and English

Where will you be most of the time during the day?
I dont know just yet, guess hanging out with people I know and maybe meet a few people whom I "know" from here but never approached?

Who will you be with?
Other than Finley I might share some time with  _MrCrazy and maybe some others. I honestly dont know lol

Do you do trades/commissions?
Nahh, I still want to write stories and actually have two projects running >.>

What suit(s) will you have?
I only got a Dragon head so far, but if the suit might eventually get done is questionable.

Can I dance with you?
I am a pretty bad dancer, so most likely not

Can I hug you?
I dont know, give me 1 or 2 days to get used to it. Yeah, 3 years of fucking COVID changed a lot. Nothing personal!

Can I talk to you?
Yes, of course. Always!

Can I take photos of you/with you?
If you want, sure but please ask beforehand. If you want to share it on your social media I would want my face be covered by one of my Dergs stickers, please x3

Can I buy you lots of drinks?
Yes, but its not gonna easy if you want to beat me in a drinking game. (Fin is not gonna like that sentence <3). I know my limit, so no worries!

Do you drink Alcohol/Smoke?
Yes/rarely and only a certain kind!

Can I give you lots of money?
Sure!

Can we hang out?
Feel free to ask me, lots of things someone could do~

Other cons you may go to?
Nope, only EF since my work is time consuming

Attending any events?
Dont know yet.

How can I find you at the con?
Roaming around most of the time, in my room, or at some event. See contact details!

Are you buying art?
I am planning to buy art, yesh

What is the best way to contact you?
Telegram works fine, just Nurithedragon. Please dont approach with "hey sexy", hahaha

You look pretty tired, are you ok?
I hope i am, I should be. Dont worry!

Last time/last con/last meet/last chat we talked so much and now you forgot my name? Why???
Its pretty unlikely, last con was 2019. Buuuut there are a few certain faces I remember and want to meet them again!

Will you tell me your room-number and can I surprise visit you?
If I know you, but I have some limits~

I have a personal question for the convention. May I ask you that?
Yes, just go ahead.

The RKI said we are having a national emergency, the covid cases are exploding and every day everything gets worser.
Same for my mood.
Stay safe and get the Vaccine, it can save your life!

i feel stupid and have no real hope anymore.

There are no words to descripe how i am feeling, some part of me is entirely missing. Its my fault of course, i pushed away a very close friend of mine. I still do like that guy a tremendously lot, if i could i would fly over to him and talk face to face but thats on the other side of earth.
Its my fault for always being stupid and restart the same dramas every single time once *things* happen, like getting new artwork. i very often got jelly and send messages; some get deleted others not. my mind is clouded by a lot of fears, mostly of loss (e.g. friendships) which made it pretty hard to maintain a good connection.
yet this aint a apology; damage has been done and words wont repair it that easily.

i hope and pray that one day this person may give me yet an other chance, but i wouldnt deserve it anyway. i am really sorry for being stuborn and stupid.
i miss him so fucking much...

It appears that all of my friends forgot my hatchday.
It makes me pretty sad, but it might be deserved. I did many mistakes which ended in stress.

Dont get me wrong, i dont want gifts. I want 1 day where i get Appreciated. Just one day, please.

But i am not happy.

I regret my mistakes. I want things to be normal, but when you have me around nothing is normal.

I have hope someday things will be alright.

I think it is time to get somewhat busy, and i have a bit of spare time right now. So i am open for stories to write for you^^
Base price is 3 USD per page

I am open for a lot of things, my absolute favs are:
-Paws
-Dragons in general
-Interactions between Humans and scalies / ferals
-SFW / NSFW
-Vore / Gore (Con or Non-Con)
-a lot of more things!

If you have an idea you would want to get written down, even if its not listed above, go ahead and reach me via notes or via Telegram. (@Nurithedragon)
I lack good examples, but its worth a shot^^


---
In work is a gift for  ahastar back from last year. :)

A month ago i decided to deactivate my twitter, and now its officially deleted and can never be restored.
I am in total not feeling very well, and twitter seemed to be a toxic place to me, too.

Sadly it also includes that i lost a few original 3d files from doodles and ych´s. It sucks, but thats how it is :/

I have an smol telegram group, feel free to join:
https://t.me/joinchat/KqSLeh2YmH4kb3iVmZnOqQ

The raffle ends in 24 hours, the winner will the rolled on monday evening due to vacation!

A few days ago i passed the 400 watcher mark, and just recently also got one year older. For those two reasons i will hold an raffle, yay!
There are a few simple rules:

1. You have to be a watcher; new one are also welcome.
2. Just commend (it should be obv you want to join, not just "okay" x3) under the journal to get a slot for you. Only 1 slot per Person, in case you are using more than 1 Account to have an higher winning chance will have to remove you entirely from this raffle. I will give each person the number, it might take a lil while due to full-time job and vacation next week.
3. Ideas (see the slots) can be brought out when you win a slot. There is no need to write down you ideas on this journal :P

There will be multible slots!

1. Slot win either an coloured sketch with one on my Char´s together with one of yours; SFW only here (close friends are excluded, but depends on the idea). If you are not interessted into an picture with one of my Char´s you can also get an shaded scene with one of your char´s in it.

A 2nd slot will open if we reach more than 25 people applied. The 2nd slot winner will get an coloured sketch from one of his own Char´s.
Even a 3rd slot will be there, there only have to be more than 50 people that apply! This will earn you a coloured headshot.
Maybe (!), if we pass 100 people there will be two more slots. Each worth one coloured sticker. :)

About Artists, i am trying to find a few artists for this raffle. I will let this raffle run for a little over 2 weeks; til i am back from my vacation. In those 2 weeks i will sort out things. :)

This is my first raffle, i hope i did everythink as i should. *sweats*
Any questions please as comment, dont be shy.
End date: 12th July at around 12 CEST!

Well, some of you are already informed about it or asked questions. The recent events have brought me into an though phase, Coronavirus, the massive stress at work and other more personal reasons did quite some damage. I have had a lot of difficulties, still have honestly, with sleeping. Sometimes i just pass out around 1 or 2 am, even under the week where i have to work. Weekends its even worser of course.
I just cant sleep, it wont happen.
Other than that i also some wierd dreams you call nightmares, like dreams where i suddenly die or consider suicide. It has been too much for me an after though talking with my therapist i decided to start taking meds. The meds will start working in a few weeks, two up to four weeks. I can tell what can happen in that time, so we discussed that taking a break from social will help "boosting" my mental state.
The Break is more than just a break, it is an attemp to finaly find myself.

Its needless to say the time between today and when the drug starts working will be hard for me, very hard. Its probably the hardest challenge i ever had to take, but i will have to do it. I know my close friends will be waiting on the other side from the road, regardless how long i will need.
I appreciate every kind of supportive words during that time and cant wait to catch up to you.

Before the sudden end of this journal, I want to thank someone. Thanks for the recommendations and help Degon. I contacted him after a few months of silence, after all the time his last message ended with "friend". It made my cry you still consider me as that, and you encouraged me a lot. I cant thank you enough.

You all stay safe and i will miss you. Its not your fault, so please feel bad that i am not around. I will come back, i promiss.

PS: commissions / payment plans are still gonna be fulfilled, i check Discord / Telegramm regulary.

Henlo again.
I still need a roommate for EF26 to lower the cost for me, of course i will try to get a room at the estrel to make things much easier for me and my suit.
If anyone wants, please drop me a message on Telegramm Nurithedragon and i will contact you ASAP!

I will go to EF26^^ This time also with an Fursuit. <3
But i will need two roommates for the con, because i want to stay in the Estrel~
I am open for everyone, just drop me a note here or dm me on Telegramm nurithedragon so we can chat a bit together.

Hope you all can enjoy those stressful days with your familiy and friends.

I cant realy enjoy them. Everyone around me seems to be happy. I am not happy.
Depression pushes me away further from those who i love the most. I am not giving up at all, but when will it be over?
I am hurting and annoying my friends, only to keep myself away from my depression and try to be happy.

I cant force them to stay near to me, but they force me to get a better "myself". To get back to my old form. I am repeating myself, thanks for staying so far. The future will bring us much joy, i promiss.

Not that anyone would care anyway.
I need to stay away from all this, it wont take too long i hope!

Yeah yeah, no time for much blabla.
After months of continuing "attacks" or lets say "ticks" against my friends, mainly those how i like and love the most, i was kinda forced to seek help. Thats what i finaly did, and in fact it make me feel happier. A lot.
But it was only one appointment, and one isnt enough.
Thats not the reason why i am writing this journal though. I want to be honest.
 mrcrazy  mbing
You two are those i have to deeply apologice. Because i can feel our friendships have been taking a lot of damage due to me being sometimes an big asshole. Honestly, reviewing what i did i should be happy that you both still stick to me.
But how do i form a fitting apologice? Guess i will have to reveal myself to the public...

To be honest. This is quite hard for myself to express it, it is a secret i wanted to keep private. Before knowing Gesher, before even engageing Discord (or lets say the whole fandom) i was totaly different.
My first appointment was mainly about that part of my life, known as schools time.
In school i always was an lone person, got either ignored from others and got bullied in higher classes. I choosed the way to isolate myself, entirely. I have had a few people that i knew, in school and online for gaming. But those were highly limited. Thats something i still do now, the ring of people that i like and call my friends is very limited.
The bulling for sure did his damage, but i never decided to seek any kind of help. I always ate it in my soul, not carring how i felt i moved on. After some time it hurt so much, i wanted it to end. But what was i expecting? Would my parents help me defeating it, i though it would make it only worser.
I got more often "sick", letting my grades getting worser. But, that wasnt the main problem. I had suicide thoughs, the first i ever had.
The bulling stoped while i made my apprenticeship, well nearly. It was stressful time anyway. Rarely had suicide thoughs, i have met some nice people and friends. But those didnt lasted long...when i started to work remotely.
I was alone again, remotly working not able to see friends. Work was often hard and stressful, and there was no way to vent the stress.
Over the years of work, my suicide thoughs got back. They grew more alarming...

Long story short. Gesher? In my eyes you have saved my life. I know i am stubburn, i know i am doing things wrong. You gave me a feeling of being liked, a feeling of beeing useful and kind of needed. I have escaped those feelings thanks to your help. I owe you this apologice, and i hope your able to accept it. Take all the time you need, but i will say one thing:

I have started to take professional help, the process will take some time. The results wont be imminent. But your my best friend, and i want to keep it that way. Please stick with me.

Now over to mbing, the past wasnt always easy. The old Nuri you met changed a lot, you wanted that i feel better and "pushed" me to seek help. I guess that was all i needed. I have to thank you, too. A lot.
But i also have to apologice and hope you will be able to stick with me, too.



(I was writing this text in two days. I am doing fine. Those both friendships i mentioned are extremly important for me. I am unexperienced with friends...if you both say and read that thing here...maybe give me some hug?)

I am kinda stuck right now, i would say i am somewhat hopeless. So, we all know EF25 is soon. Very thing seemed fine so far, but thats not the case.
Last month my company charged me 900€ less than usual. I have already planned this ammount of money for commissions and other stuff. But yeah...

My currient bank account status is -9,35€. I´ve gotten 400 bucks from my company, only 5 days ago. This 400 were spend for:

150€ for Eyenom-Com Part 1
50€ for fuel and things to eat / drink and such
remaining 200 for running costs.
Sadly there are still a few things open, between 90 up to 250 bucks. I cant actually say the perfect ammount of money that i still have to pay. Right now its 90, but it could grow.

(I also have to pay:
150€ Eyenom Part 2
Zola Stickers 40€
EF25 Hotel ~550€ [should be covered with my next loan from company])

Anyway. Right now i am on negative charge, unable to get any money. I have 15,43€ remaining in my pocket. Thats not much tbh.

I have spend so much money in the last months, all of it due to buying artwork. (mostly for others / friends).
I am just feeling terrible, but i am stuck. I cant ask either my parents or my friends if they are able to lend me some money. But. I have to.
I am expecting that i will need around 100-250 bucks to make it over the next few days. You wonder why?
I need to drive back home, fuel costs will be around 60€. I also need to buy things to eat and such. Yeah 100 might be enough, but a little more would be better.

To prevent something...i have asked for a line of credit from my bank. They said a few workdays up to 2 weeks. 4 work days past, nothing happened.

TLDR: I need some money to make it over the next days. I will try to pay you back as soon as i can. Every dollar helps. In case your german, bank transfer would be appreciated. Please send me an Note!
Imma drop my ko-fi link here: https://ko-fi.com/nurithereddragon

In case you cant donate, but want to help. Spread this please. Thanks

We are already quite close to the convention, and i thought we not make this lil thing i saw from some persons~

1. What is your name?
Nuri, just call me Nuri

2. What is your gender?
Male.

3. How old are you?
24

4. How tall are you?
Well, i dont realy know how tall i am. Maybe 1,75m?

5. Are you going alone there?
No, luckily not. I am going together with  mrcrazy <3

6. How are you getting to the con?
Most likely i will use the train or a flight. Not quite sure yet

7. Where are you staying?
Sadly not at Estrel. Its a hotel close-by, but i forgot the name already ><

8. What day are you getting there?
Not sure, maybe every day.^^

9. Are you doing anything in line with the theme?
Well, i dont realy understand this theme...

10. Who are you rooming with?
Alone


11. What suit(s) will you have?
No suits.

12. Can I talk to/touch/hug/hang out with/buy you a lof of drinks/take photos of/with you?
Hold on, just a large question.
Talk: Yes
Touch: maybe ask~
Hug: Yush
Hang out: okay
Drinks: Sounds about right
Photos: Please not


13. Do you drink Alcohol/Smoke?
Both >:3

14. Can I kidnap you to my room?
Where is this going???

15. How will I recognize you?
I dont know how i will look out. :| Just ask everyone. :D

16. Where will you be most of the time during the con?
Dunno yet. My first convention^^

17. Attending any events?
Dunno

18. Other plans?
I will have a lot of time together with my dragon mate, so we will see where this end! Maybe we will find some cool dudes and enjoy some time together with drinks and food~

I actually wanted to vent a bit, but well. :/
Over the last weeks i was taking some break from FA and (tryed) from Discord, too. Trying to be detailed.
Much serios stuff happened in RL and in the fandom for me. Just saying that i saved at least 6 people from hurting themself, which was dragging myself into depression again.
Yes. I am struggling much which depression recently.
Reasons are pretty simple:

A take every RP very VERY emotional, e.g. if my OC is sad and hides i am in most cases crying in RL. That can happen very sudden. Like right now for examble.
These "crying attacks" are purely random. I have no idea why they are comming to me anyway.
Back to the line. -> I take RPs serios, which ended sometimes in jealous attacks against friends. I am working hardly on myself it fix it!

I am emotionaly very thin and cant process what happends in the last weeks, because every time i want peace something new comes up and pushes me down like hell.


Also. I have an huge lag of artwork uploads! I am very sorry, I deeply appreciate your work and will upload when i find some time to do that. Promissed. (same for the gift i got some time ago.)


One last thing. My two best friends out there: I am going to cuddle you til the universe ends. <3
To my other friends: Stay like you are, i like you all very much and i am very happy to have you. Indeed my friend list needs some updates. ^-^