I want to write a major apology.

I've also sent refunds to everyone I could find. Please, if you participated and haven't gotten a refund, please let me know. I think I'm missing two people. I couldn't find the emails to send a refund to.

I really fucked up and dropped the ball on this one and I am so, so incredibly sorry. This isn't an excuse, this is just an explanation so hopefully you'll understand why I behaved like I did.

My life hit the shitter pretty hard in fall of 2016 and I shouldn't have blacked out on my online presence like I did. My dad disowned me in October and then he promptly died in November. I lost my job in January and I landed myself in a psych ward by March. Been in and out of therapy since, trying lots of meds and moving across state, etc.

I've been stone cold terrified to even log on to this account because I feel like such a failure to you and the others for this piece. I'm so sorry. I tried to come back on, logged on a few times.. But the anxiety made me sick to the point of wanting to throw up. I've literally not been right in the head for several years. Off and on a dozen different antidepressants, multiple surgeries and a few organs removed.

I am finally feeling physically better and I'm on a new medication that makes my head a lot clearer. I have been working in therapy to address stuff and I wanted to come on to apologize and try to make this situation right. My anxiety and mental health made me panic and I did really stupid things, including avoiding this account and my responsibilities to those who participated in the pillow fight ych.

It wasn't right of me to go MIA.

Again, I'm really sorry. I know I'm shit for having vanished like that. I'm trying to be better now. Let me know if I can do anything to amend.

~SM~

Had lots o' surgeries this past year. Just really tired. Dumped my most recent doctor because he was an ass. Stopped taking a med he put me on that was killing my creativity and making me feel even more like sludge.

Withdrawal sucks but I'm coming out of it now. Feeling better.

Getting back to drawing more.

Sorry for being MIA. x,x;

I have begun drawing the Pillow Fight YCH at last! There's still slot 3 open, though!

If nobody claims it by the time the rest of the picture is finished, I'm just going to substitute one of my own OCs in the slot.

FIRST COME FIRST SERVE
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/21219874/

I promise I will be back as soon as I am able.

I just..
I can't right now. Please understand.

My dad died this afternoon from a heart attack. He was only 56. The last time we spoke we had a horrible argument and he told me to never talk to him again..

I need some time.

I've been being run ragged from work recently because of the fall season, and you all know I've not been able to do things at a fast pace like I was during the summer months.

I have college classes and a day job.

I have recently put in a request to change my availability at work so that I'll have more time to spend at home working on art and commissions.

This change won't be in effect until a week or two- until then she's still got me on the schedule for long and late hours.

I am still working on the current commissions/ the Pillow Fight YCH.

I cannot accept new commissions right now until I finish what's on my list.

I have mentioned before that I am struggling to live right now in my current apt. Things have been difficult. There have been days where I've not eaten anything at all just to save money for rent and heating.

I just want you to know I am not 'running away' or 'vanishing'. I value and care about all my commissioners.

Until the current batch of comms is finished please consider me on official hiatus until further notice.

~Battle Sheep~