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It's Tuesday. TMIT engaged. AMA! 05/17.
Posted 9 years agoovo
Streaming trying to build stamina.
Posted 9 years agoStreamm
Posted 9 years agoTMIT AMA 03/05
Posted 9 years agoIt's time for another round of trivia and blackmailing fodder.
Ask away if you fancy so~
Ask away if you fancy so~
Streaming
Posted 9 years agoLets see how much I rusted while waiting for my hand to heal up
https://picarto.tv/behemuffin
NSFW warning cuz people haven't caught up yet i'm a lewd bastard.
https://picarto.tv/behemuffin
NSFW warning cuz people haven't caught up yet i'm a lewd bastard.
Streaming
Posted 9 years agoLets see how much I rusted while waiting for my hand to heal up
https://picarto.tv/behemuffin
NSFW warning cuz people haven't caught up yet i'm a lewd bastard.
https://picarto.tv/behemuffin
NSFW warning cuz people haven't caught up yet i'm a lewd bastard.
Streaming
Posted 9 years agoLets see how much I rusted while waiting for my hand to heal up
https://picarto.tv/behemuffin
NSFW warning cuz people haven't caught up yet i'm a lewd bastard.
https://picarto.tv/behemuffin
NSFW warning cuz people haven't caught up yet i'm a lewd bastard.
TMITAMA04/19.
Posted 9 years agoGuess it's a way to signalize I'm still around.
Gimme yo questions.
Gimme yo questions.
Hand is healing alright.
Posted 9 years agoIts mostly healed up, no infection. Teaches me not to trust that goddamn parrot -_-
asfdfaakebnjkdqnjkqçb nqe
Posted 9 years agoStreaming at https://picarto.tv/behemuffin sketching for fun and doing sketch roulette. NSFW as usual.
bargle
Posted 9 years agoasdfsaadsf
Posted 9 years agoskree
Posted 9 years agoStreaming
Posted 9 years agohttps://picarto.tv/behemuffin
nsfw so you know the drill
nsfw so you know the drill
I used to
Posted 9 years agoI used to approach art with wanton enthusiasm and fear. I'm far too shackled into my own perceptions and acknowledge my limitations far too much to be daring about it. More often than not playing it safe rather than experimenting, trying to get creative, improvise. Still, I crave perfecting my craft as much as I can. Art cannot be perfected, but art in itself is perfect. The quest for perfection may be impossible, but it does not make the journey any less grand.
I used to like discussing art with people, thinking art is not only subjective but the layer of subjectiveness being thinly veiled around the foundations of art. I always had a goal for my craft, I know where I want it to be, but I never had a clear view of the path to get there. Yet, I still try to learn on my own.
I used to take pleasure in partaking what little I know with anyone who shared the same sort of love for the craft, but seldom I could find anyone who were truthful in their words. People who dabble and show interest, but deem art as a means to an end, instead the prize itself being in mastering it, damned be the subjectivity, the passion, the drive.
I used to let it get to me, and I know I've talked to a few people in the past few days (please don't make this a bigger mess than it already is, V) but as of the few recent months, I gave up, I gave up and I let go of that naive notion I had. I gave up for it wrought nothing of what I hoped to be sowing.
I used to like sharing what little I knew, discussing the ins and outs, trying to find a way to improve and maybe help anyone interested on my quest to learn how to improve, but, no more. It didn't help people. It didn't make anything better. It was only stressful. It was a folly that I'm sure people would laugh at among themselves after the discussion was said and done. None took it seriously. I caught up to it. I'm tired of being the butt of the joke.
I used to have a more innocent outlook on things, that such interests would be simpler, but now I realize why people are so adamant about not criticizing. Why people shy away from sharing and discussing the ins and outs of the craft. There's too much spite, too much contempt, too many broken dreams in that alley.
I used to, but now, not anymore.
"If it's not broken, we can 'fix' it."
Also, It bears to bring to light that this isn't about anyone in specific. If you feel like you had anything to do with it for recent events resonating with the rant, rest assured it was only the straw that broke the camel's back. Too many factors converged for me to take this stance.
I used to like discussing art with people, thinking art is not only subjective but the layer of subjectiveness being thinly veiled around the foundations of art. I always had a goal for my craft, I know where I want it to be, but I never had a clear view of the path to get there. Yet, I still try to learn on my own.
I used to take pleasure in partaking what little I know with anyone who shared the same sort of love for the craft, but seldom I could find anyone who were truthful in their words. People who dabble and show interest, but deem art as a means to an end, instead the prize itself being in mastering it, damned be the subjectivity, the passion, the drive.
I used to let it get to me, and I know I've talked to a few people in the past few days (please don't make this a bigger mess than it already is, V) but as of the few recent months, I gave up, I gave up and I let go of that naive notion I had. I gave up for it wrought nothing of what I hoped to be sowing.
I used to like sharing what little I knew, discussing the ins and outs, trying to find a way to improve and maybe help anyone interested on my quest to learn how to improve, but, no more. It didn't help people. It didn't make anything better. It was only stressful. It was a folly that I'm sure people would laugh at among themselves after the discussion was said and done. None took it seriously. I caught up to it. I'm tired of being the butt of the joke.
I used to have a more innocent outlook on things, that such interests would be simpler, but now I realize why people are so adamant about not criticizing. Why people shy away from sharing and discussing the ins and outs of the craft. There's too much spite, too much contempt, too many broken dreams in that alley.
I used to, but now, not anymore.
"If it's not broken, we can 'fix' it."
Also, It bears to bring to light that this isn't about anyone in specific. If you feel like you had anything to do with it for recent events resonating with the rant, rest assured it was only the straw that broke the camel's back. Too many factors converged for me to take this stance.
The Buttmuncher Brings to Your Attention:
Posted 9 years agoCheck this cool cat's stuff.
Tags: thickness, toony, and awesome.
I'm Muffin, and you're welcome.
Tags: thickness, toony, and awesome.
I'm Muffin, and you're welcome.
My open discord channel
Posted 10 years agohttps://discord.gg/0nPgxH8R5D1TnXKR
For chatting and general poking.
Link will work for the next 24hours, i think.
For chatting and general poking.
Link will work for the next 24hours, i think.
I really should
Posted 10 years agopost some of the shit i draw somewhere.
Streaming for 2 or 3 hours.
Posted 10 years agoStreaming 2016 is go.
Posted 10 years agohttps://picarto.tv/Behemuffin
NSFW warning
All sorts of interruptions and shit. Just me being a buttmuncher.
NSFW warning
All sorts of interruptions and shit. Just me being a buttmuncher.
Like herpes....
Posted 10 years ago...I return.
...
...
...
I KNOW! I KNOW! All that build up for me to be gone a little over 2 weeks! I'm so sorry!! The situation is here is super wonky, complicated, but the good news is thanks to the donations and the last commissions i got in before leaving I was able to get my own internet. So I'll be able to be around even tho the conditions are far from ideal. =w=;;
I so sorry for worrying everybody, and I'm deeply grateful for the concern and help ya'll gave me. ;w;
I hope I can make up for all the trouble I gave .w.;;
...
...
...
I KNOW! I KNOW! All that build up for me to be gone a little over 2 weeks! I'm so sorry!! The situation is here is super wonky, complicated, but the good news is thanks to the donations and the last commissions i got in before leaving I was able to get my own internet. So I'll be able to be around even tho the conditions are far from ideal. =w=;;
I so sorry for worrying everybody, and I'm deeply grateful for the concern and help ya'll gave me. ;w;
I hope I can make up for all the trouble I gave .w.;;
Gonna be tough to say goodbye.
Posted 10 years agoThis might come outta left field for most of, but I think its best to let ya'll know whats happening, and why did things come to this.
In the next few days I'll be gone and here's why:
I moved across the country 6 years ago to study, using money i had saved up over a decade while working as a waiter in my late grandpa's restaurant. I came down south to the mecca of development of my country to study and look for job opportunities. I finished my studies, but the market is very competitive and in these time of depression the opportunities were nowhere to be found by me.
I came here with a friend and we split the rent. Two years ago that friend went back home, after nabbing a job opportunity that we both were running for. That cost me my only contact here in this city, my teacher. AND it left me to deal with double the expenses. I decided, possibly foolishly, to stay and try my best to live off of commissions. It was rough to remain here but I was managing it. Hoping for one day get good enough to land a job somewhere, or launch my own projects, and slowly carve my way to better, more stable living.
Well, life is a bitch and the owner of the place I'm renting passed away earlier this year. His family now is selling the place to split the spoils. I had bouts of panic and despair, I'm long past that. Managing to stay here was rough, but doable. Renting a new place? I don't have the funds to front a trust deposit nor a paycheck to serve as "proof that I'm a bona fide tenant" Letter of recommendations aren't particularly weighty in this big metropolis.
These past few months I've looked over 60 places all around the capital, and the ones that were affordable did not want to risk having me as a tenant. I managed so far to protelate abusing a clause in the contract (I had "reserve of purchase preference", and they offered me the place for an exorbitant amount that I could only laugh at. However, they activated my trap card when they finally sold it to someone else for a lower price, which was still exorbitant, opening venues for action. However, it was just literally buying time cuz I sure as fuck could never afford to buy the place).
So, what's next?
I'll be going back where I came from, a backwater rural/ dense forested area of the country, moving back with my mom. There I believe I won't have the privacy and conditions to properly browse and work on things that I usually do. It would be difficult to explain this sorta thing to normal people, let alone explain it to religious fanatics. -_-
Finding a proper job in the field here proved to be near impossible, back where I came from where there was no market for it and many of the people I know I've been hearing its shrinking opportunity wise will probably prove even more futile. So this is in all aspects a huge step back. That and being unable to work on with commissions over there means bleak times ahead.
So it's come this. I'm scared, afraid, defeated. Somehow I'm not angry anymore. Just sad. Sad that I have failed to achieve anything I truly set out to do, that I never really got to draw comics or work with art outside of commissions. Never truly making any of my projects come to be. I met many people in these past few years, and upset a whole lot of em. Being sorry would only invalidate everything I did, but I can tell you that I never meant to be a shitty person, no matter how bad I was.
I'm truly grateful for everybody who was kind enough to put up with me and even went beyond what I could ever ask of em. Those who have supported me so, those who have it in their hearts to forgive me even where I cannot.
Is this the end?
I don't know. I wish I could say its not. I don't know whats going to happen next and I don't truly have any plans left. I truly wish I could say I'll come back someday. Maybe a few weeks from now? Maybe a few months? Years? But to be honest, the possibility of never has been haunting me in the past few days.
I'm not leaving because I want, and I'm gonna miss being around.
In the next few days I'll be gone and here's why:
I moved across the country 6 years ago to study, using money i had saved up over a decade while working as a waiter in my late grandpa's restaurant. I came down south to the mecca of development of my country to study and look for job opportunities. I finished my studies, but the market is very competitive and in these time of depression the opportunities were nowhere to be found by me.
I came here with a friend and we split the rent. Two years ago that friend went back home, after nabbing a job opportunity that we both were running for. That cost me my only contact here in this city, my teacher. AND it left me to deal with double the expenses. I decided, possibly foolishly, to stay and try my best to live off of commissions. It was rough to remain here but I was managing it. Hoping for one day get good enough to land a job somewhere, or launch my own projects, and slowly carve my way to better, more stable living.
Well, life is a bitch and the owner of the place I'm renting passed away earlier this year. His family now is selling the place to split the spoils. I had bouts of panic and despair, I'm long past that. Managing to stay here was rough, but doable. Renting a new place? I don't have the funds to front a trust deposit nor a paycheck to serve as "proof that I'm a bona fide tenant" Letter of recommendations aren't particularly weighty in this big metropolis.
These past few months I've looked over 60 places all around the capital, and the ones that were affordable did not want to risk having me as a tenant. I managed so far to protelate abusing a clause in the contract (I had "reserve of purchase preference", and they offered me the place for an exorbitant amount that I could only laugh at. However, they activated my trap card when they finally sold it to someone else for a lower price, which was still exorbitant, opening venues for action. However, it was just literally buying time cuz I sure as fuck could never afford to buy the place).
So, what's next?
I'll be going back where I came from, a backwater rural/ dense forested area of the country, moving back with my mom. There I believe I won't have the privacy and conditions to properly browse and work on things that I usually do. It would be difficult to explain this sorta thing to normal people, let alone explain it to religious fanatics. -_-
Finding a proper job in the field here proved to be near impossible, back where I came from where there was no market for it and many of the people I know I've been hearing its shrinking opportunity wise will probably prove even more futile. So this is in all aspects a huge step back. That and being unable to work on with commissions over there means bleak times ahead.
So it's come this. I'm scared, afraid, defeated. Somehow I'm not angry anymore. Just sad. Sad that I have failed to achieve anything I truly set out to do, that I never really got to draw comics or work with art outside of commissions. Never truly making any of my projects come to be. I met many people in these past few years, and upset a whole lot of em. Being sorry would only invalidate everything I did, but I can tell you that I never meant to be a shitty person, no matter how bad I was.
I'm truly grateful for everybody who was kind enough to put up with me and even went beyond what I could ever ask of em. Those who have supported me so, those who have it in their hearts to forgive me even where I cannot.
Is this the end?
I don't know. I wish I could say its not. I don't know whats going to happen next and I don't truly have any plans left. I truly wish I could say I'll come back someday. Maybe a few weeks from now? Maybe a few months? Years? But to be honest, the possibility of never has been haunting me in the past few days.
I'm not leaving because I want, and I'm gonna miss being around.
