Finally!

I have been there! I was very disappointed the night before leaving for Furfright because my trimmer broke while I was cutting my hair! I was so very upset I did not want to chat with anybody...

I got to play CaveStory and defeated that fucking boss, which quite cheered me up :D

I'm really happy because it is said to be one of the hardest boss in the gaming world. Dunno how relevant is that, but I'm happy none the less,especially because now, I can finally get back to working on other thing :)

Most particularly, I could go to Furfright without the frustration of not having yet completed that game and having to wait all the way until Monday to resume my attempts against Ballos.

So yay!

First, thank you everybody for reading my journals and being here with me when I need to.

I don't know what I am doing. I make every member of my family sad with my departure. I don't know how sad would my friends from Montreal be if I left Montreal like that...

On the other side, my cousin congratulated me a few days ago for the courage I had to move to Canada and leave my family, where she has not been able to. It's right that I'm gonna keep in touch on webcam with my family and such. I should not feel worried about anything I think, even if I don't know if I'll ever see my parents again according to their very fragile and random health status.

My mother told me how she did not want me to let my worries and sadness get on the way of my Canadian life. I'm glad about that, but what is my Canadian life so far? A job with good potential? A friend who feels like a brother to me, yet, is gonna leave me in less than a year? My other friends?

I don't want anything to be taboo anymore. I spoke with an open heart with my mother, so, there is no reason that I should not do as well with my friends from the community.

I think I need to look forward to develop bonds with you guys.

Let me know if you do too, because I want, in the name of my family's sacrifice, to fully take advantage of my life on the other continent.

Feel free to reply directly here or by sending me a note.

Thanks.

I just want to mark this time during my holidays, as it is a sort of a halfway spot through my vacation time. Those who care about me as a friend may read, the others may skip as it's some long sad ranting about my feelings in regards to my dying family.

I'm blessed to spend this time with my family as I did not even know if I would get to spend some good time with them anymore. My father and my mother are in a state where their health could drastically change from one day to another and a doc even feared my mother would not make it through summer.

Here I am and my mother is more energetic than she was when I left her last May, but doctors have decided to stop her therapy treatment.
Now, my father seems to be weakening and has also stopped his therapy.

Problem is I very well know their cancer is still here, yet, they don't seem to be aware that the therapy has been stopped because it was harming them too much and that it was better not to fight the cancer anymore at their stage... They are pretty old too, over 70.

I think it's a good thing they are not aware, because would they have had the same strength they had so far if they knew they were doomed anyway? Making projects to see each other next year is something that I think will give them more strength than anything could if they were aware of their real health status.

I'm enjoying this time then, though I can't help but feel, deep inside of me, that I might rather stay with them, give up on Canada, my work and my friends. I feel like I'd need to give my mother more support, especially when she feels sick and appears worried, wondering why she randomly feels like vomitting. I feel awful at leaving her in a week with such a big lie, but what can I do?

Besides, I may very well see her again next year as I believe she is strong, but I don't have much hope either. I will go back in Canada and pretend everything is alright, while being afraid of getting a call from France to give me some bad news...

I don't know why I'm confessing this, I guess I'm in need to release some of my frustration and anxiety.

I think I need some love from outside of my family, I need to be able to get detached from my relatives in France in order to enjoy the affection I'm being given from other people like my doggie (Delmir). So, to those who care enough to have read that far in my journal, please, give me some support.

Thanks in advance.

Hello everybody,

Just a little journal to let you all know that I made it to my parents safely.

I was glad to see my family again, especially seeing how my parents are doing splendid.
I left my mother in a half dying state, not knowing if I would see her again. She was barely able to walk on her own anymore...

When I arrived back home, she cooked for me one of my favorite dishes, set up the table, greeted me with a warm hug, and according to the strength of it, I was happy to see how healthy she seemed to be.

She eats well, she walks out, does shopping and shows a will to fight her cancer that teaches me a lot.

Those 2 weeks are going to be damn too fast, but I'm happy I get to spend some more precious time with my family and friends here.

Was my little update for those who followed my old journals and how my life went.

Thanks for reading.

Tigers are cool:

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4472920/

+fav costs you nothing and obviously, it generates money somehow...

Though I'd spread it around.

Just a little note, for those of you fellow vore fans who know or are curious about vorechats.

The very one that got me into vore rping is YumChat and it celebrates its 10th anniversary, 1 day after my own very birthday.

If you wanna have a look in there, go follow this link and you may run into some of the veterans of the vore community: http://www.villichat.net/yumchat/

Have fun!

I don't want to miss a single opportunity to know anybody who would be a potential good friend, rp partner, or anything that I could create a bond with.

So, I might as well make it obvious what I'm looking for, vore rp and rl wise:

Here is a summary (+++ = nearly required + = can do without it).

Vore players who like:

males (player or characters can be any gender, but must like males. I like female preys occasionally) +++
fatal vore +++ (even though I'm getting a liking in keeping slav *coughs* FRIENDS...)
submissive, fascinated, curious preys ++
multiple preys rps ++
large creatures ++
bears ++
humans (preys AND preds) ++
age play ++
vore more than yiff ++
being pred, prey equal opportunity +
wanting to know your rp partner more than just for rp +

Real life wise, I'm looking for pudgy looking guys, be it small and young (not underaged) or big and tall. I'm looking for long term relationships, mostly friendships as I'm not much into rl sex, but I'd love to snuggle with people, I need hugs and I can give them too :)

If it's a bingo and you like all of those mentionned above, you HAVE to add me to your buddy list on msn yahoo or aim!!
Even if there are some +++ not matching, I'd stil be glad to give it a try, I am always happy to have new friends.

AIM: "BBB BigBellyBear"
Email and MSN: "greenyoshi@voila.fr"
Y!: "BigBellyBear"

Finally, here is my profile in Yumchat:

http://www.villichat.net/cgi-bin/yu......cgi?BBBs_Alts

Thanks for reading :)

The reference to the witch from l4d is just a funny coincidence actually, but I really had a creepy experience yesterday in the metro.

Was casually walking down the metro to catch a train as I was going to pick up my car at a garage, when I noticed a young woman,long black hair, sobbing in a corner, sitting and burrying her head in her knees. I could not help but gave her a concerned look. Eventually, I left her alone and stood in front of the rail way, waiting for the train that I could hear approaching.

I then had a chill running down my spine and turned back to check her out, when I saw her actually right behind me and seeming to be about to push me toward the railway, but she stopped and just stood her with one of the creepiest look I have ever seen. Would she have pushed me if I did not turn back, I would never know.

Then, she kept staring at me, giving me the finger as I would look at her back in shock and confusion, before she would get back to me right when the train opened its doors and started a struggle with me, insulting me as we were both entering the train, making people around us confused at what was going on. I pushed her back but did not go too wild against her as I did not want people to think I was brutalizing her or something...

She then sat eventually and left at the next station. I could then explain people I never saw that lady before. She kept yelling nonsense at me, like "it's all your fault! you should have never done that!" She even yelled at some casual man next to us for no reason either.

The thing that stays in my mind now is, would I be dead by now if I did not have that chill running down my spine, and if so, what caused it? What or who would have saved me? Funny thing to think, even though it's most likely it all is just a big coincidence and chances are she would have never pushed me to the railway anyway.

It's been a while since I have had that much fun hanging out with fellow vores and furries,aside from conventions of course.

It all started with plans to eventually meet up with  Tppdrummer aka Drummin Roo, a really nice guy I have met a few months ago and who I got to see again at AC this year.

We had a fun evening on Friday with  Valenurei, chilling, playing games, eating at an excellent local restaurant: "The new Verdun" (has left over in his fridge) and drinking some beer.

Then, I got a rather creepy phone call on Saturday... somebody phoning me with a low and deep voice, calling for the Big Bad Bear... on my phone!! I was completely creeped out while at work, for somebody who knew my fursona name to also know my phone number!

It appeared it was Moku, an amazing local furry friend who appears to live a few blocks away from me!  Delmir gave himmy phone number and it's how it happened.

We then got to spend a cool evening, along with Drummin Roo again, Valen, Moku,  Icheo and  Kernac playing video and board games, again New Verdun lol, then drinking beer and such.

Then came Sunday, where Valen, Kernac and Icheo woke up at my appartment, played some games, before Moku joined us to go eat at 3 Amigos, an amazing mexican restaurant that has that taco deal every sunday, 0.69 cent a taco!!

 Poop joined us there along with  Gwendolau and, after a hour of waiting out of the restaurant, Drummin roo finally decided to find hiw way in tricky Montreal to catch up with us.

We then visited the old port, took some pictures. This is an amazing place! I'm in Montreal for a year and have never been there during summer! I now know where to take people to when they visit (Though, I may recommend taking public transits as parking canbe pretty expensive *coughs* got a ticket! *coughs*...

Finally, we could not end this without introducing Drummin Roo to an amazing poutine restaurant called La Banquise,before heading back over to my place, playing video games (I finally got gold at Pumpman challenge in hard mode!), drinking again and having some nice chatting.

Oh, and we watched Dragonball Z evolution, mostly to have fun (even though Gwendolau did not have so much fun and left in midmovie :/ can'tblame him, was awful. I mean, how can Goku make a kamehameha and while doing it,doing Mr Bison's torch attack??? lol)

Fun times in Montreal, looking forward to do more!

I'm feeling good and happy right now.

Of course I have been through bad times this year with the loss of :Titusbear: and the sad news about my mother.

Nevertheless, I have learnt from those events that breaking my car on the way to AC really is nothing. I'm getting a new one now afterall. Wish I could solve every problems that easily. Even the bad avdenture that we had actually turned out into a relatively lucky one, in our bad luck (when we entered a hotel overnight when my car broke down, a very nice and helpful guy offered a used room that a client left for us to sleep for free).

My trip to AC has been a blast as always. Met with  Noctivagus and introduced him to the con. He is a great guy who I'm looking forward to meet again. Seen lots ofmy old and new friends there too.

Now, I am full of new projects.
I will probably make a list soon, but here is a sample:

Make a website, work on  Lodoss-12 and  Yokai commission, go to more conventions and be more active at them (at this AC, I hosted 3 fucking vore parties!).

Now, lets hope my good mood will stay on for long!

My doggie  Delmir and me made it home safe from AC in spite of all the troubles we have been through and thanks to Foxx, a local furry from Montreal who came and picked us up across the border, where we dropped our rented car, because my car broke on the way to AC.

Oh well, I'll just get a new one!

Same place, same time.

There are almost no soft drinks anymore though, so, unless you want alcohol (Which I do have a LOT!) and are 21 years old or more, you will have to bring your own drink.

Hope to see most of you again!

I will try to cool the room down as much as I can before everybody arrives.

Everything is in the title.

Ricky Raccoon Delmir and myself are going to greet you vore fellas Friday at 7pm in the Omni Hotel.

See ya everybody! Have a fun Anthrocon!

BBB

Hey everybody,

Figured I'd post about this since I have not heard of anybody organizing a vore party at AC yet.

I'd be glad to share the party with somebody else who'd happen to room in the Omni as I am pretty sure one room only will be pretty tight for all the vores to squeeze in...

Anyway, it is going to be a safe party where anybody can come, meet new vores, play games, watch videos, share drawings, eat pizzas and so on...

I will post more details on the con board when I will have my room number.

The only reliable thing is that it will be on Friday at 7pm.

Please, keep a look on the con board.

BBB.

All kinds of communications have been cut in Draguignan, the city where I have left my mother a few weeks ago.

I am worried for my family now. Tonight, the weather forecast announces a weaker,but still threatening rain over there.

My parents are probably fine as they live on the second floor and the flood occured over night, but I will stop being worried only once I will be able to have them on the phone or Internet...

I was not prepared for such an amazing Furry con.

Seriously, who would have expected such small and brand new con could gather such amazing people!?

I had a blast with my friends from Montreal, but also had fun meeting new people from all around there too.

I have to say that what made my con has been to get to meet  belicbear in person.
Had a chance to see him at Furfright, but was too shy to dare approaching such a fellow bear-vore-fursuiter-amazing guy...

I don't even remember how we got introduced such it has been easy. Here we were, just like two brother bears and I have really enjoyed spending up to the very last minute I could at the con with him.

As soon as I will get my lazy ass off, I'll post a few pics.

And of course, the con in itself has been very well done, with nice furry games, dance, masquerade (we did the best show with  delmir !!).

Seriously, everything was perfect. I guess it comes mostly from the effect of surprise, not having expected it to be such a good con, which makes it all the better.

Thanks Monfurs, been a honor to be part of the staff, even if I had some rl interferences on the way to help you as much as I'd have wished I could.

Looking forward to next year as it will be hard to keep up with the nice effect of surprise. But I will do my best to help :)

Hello everybody,

Every year at Anthrocon, it's been a tradition that a Big Gulp Vore party is being held.

It is a safe party that is growing more and more popular.

Last year, Snake had rented a big room with bar tenders for the party. It's been amazing.

This year though, he is not coming and nobody seems to have taken charge of organizing a Big Gulp party. Or else I'm not aware of that. Anybody here can let me know if you are aware of any party being held around the vore theme?



So, here I am, trying to find people to help me organize one.

I think it's way to late to try organizing something with renting a room (you got to gather around 1000$ I'm willing to give those if I was sure that everybody was gonna contribute and that it would reimburse 80% of the amount). Also, we are so many vores that it takes at least two hotel rooms to host such a party.

My idea is to share the BG party with somebody who would be also rooming in the omni hotel. We could try and ask the staff if we could be on the same floor so people could go back and forth from one room to another.

Please, give me your input, your thoughts on it and hopefully, we will sort something out.

Thanks in advance!

BBB.

How am I feeling?

Better than I imagined. I don't know how I'm gonna feel once in Canada though.

My mother's health won't go any better, her cancer cannot be cured, she is getting weak, but she is showing lots of enthousiasm and fighting spirit.

I will do the same on my end. I don't know if I'll see her again, but I had a fucking month to snuggle her, take good care of her, show her my love.

Today has been an excellent last day. Took lots of photos, laughed a lot with my whole family, had an amazing lunch (posted a pic concerning it lol). So good I hope it won't kill me...

Time to go packing and go bed so I won't wake up too late tomorrow morning and spend a few last hours before taking off.

Thanks everybody for your support. I really appreciate your concern.

Leaving the 24th, not sure if I'll ever see my mother again (see my journal: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1390604/ if you want to know the reason).

Not so sure my decision is the best all of a sudden, doubting of myself and wanting to stay longer, naturally.

What gave me that doubt is how my mother reacted once, when I went to bed earlier while she was having a nap and she over reacted to it by panicing when she woke up and wanted me to always wake her up before going to bed to let her know...

It's obvious, she will be very sad when I will leave her, even though she has told me she wanted me to go back to Canada.

I'm not sure to be as strong as I wanted to be, for my mother, my family, but also for my friends in Canada. Maybe I should go for the easy solution and just stay longer, but I have a feeling if I do that, I'm never going to leave, until, well, she passes away, and god only knows when this would happen.

My father also wants me to go back to Canada.

I hate myself for never having been good at taking decisions. I'm fucking 31 and I am losing myself in this. Before thinkinng about giving me advices, please, keep in mind that I have already got to spend quite a wonderful life with my parents, but at my age, it was about time I left. Is it really worth it to stay now any longer? I got to spend this nice month with my family, I might get another chance, I might not, but one thing is sure, I love my parents and they know it.

I'm convinced I should go back to Canada and enjoy my life, focus on the future, try my best to keep in touch with my mom on the internet and get back to her as soon as I could if I ever got a chance to.

That was just my little ranting as I needed to empty my bag right now.

Thanks for reading. Now, give me a hug! o.o

 lodoss-12 Would like to give it a continuation.

That's why I'm posting this journal to check if there is any volunteer who would like to pursue this and commission me with their own character being added to it.

It would basically be a first come first served basis, but I keep the right to accept the suggestion or not. Also, it may have to wait until after AC before I can do it. So, don't expect any dead line. But the work that I will do will be done with all my inspiration and pleasure.

For other details, you will have to see with Lodoss.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3857563

Ok, I am still as insane as in those past few months with the recent events, my mood going up and down from being hyper to being depressed, trying to make it up with my losses, trying to see a future and positiveness in my life.

So, I might as well make it obvious what I'm looking for, vore rp and rl wise:

Here is a summary of what I'm looking for (+++ = nearly required + = can do without it).

Players who like:

males (player or characters can be any gender, but must like males. I like female preys occasionally) +++
fatal vore +++ (even though I'm getting a liking in keeping slav *coughs* FRIENDS...)
submissive, fascinated, curious preys ++
multiple preys rps ++
large creatures ++
bears ++
humans (preys AND preds) ++
age play ++
vore more than yiff ++
my artwork x3 (mainly to be sure we share a similar view) +
being pred, prey equal opportunity +
wanting to know your rp partner more than just for rp +

Real life wise, I'm looking for pudgy looking guys, be it small and young (not underaged) or big and tall. I'm looking for long term relationships, mostly friendships as I'm not much into rl sex, but I'd love to snuggle with people, I need hugs and I can give them too :)

If it's a bingo and you like all of those mentionned above, you HAVE to add me to your buddy list on msn yahoo or aim!!
Even if there are some +++ not matching, I'd stil be glad to give it a try, I am always happy to have new friends.

AIM: "BBB BigBellyBear"
Email and MSN: "greenyoshi@voila.fr"
Y!: "BigBellyBear"

Finally, here is my profile in Yumchat:

http://www.villichat.net/cgi-bin/yu......cgi?BBBs_Alts

Thanks for reading :)

It's tough, it really is tough. I have two families, one that is my genetic real life one, and one that is my fellow furries/voraphiles family. Though, we all only have one mother and it appears that mine has a cancer that is going to kill her in the next few days, weeks, months....

I'm currently with her, in France, but my life is in Canada, with my wolf since a year now, where I wanted to be as it's where I have the best chances to meet and spend time with my fellow online growing family, where my job is.

My boss is very understanding and allows me to stay as long as I need here without being payed of course. Delmir, my wolf has also shown great understanding and even offered to move back to Vancouver until I would eventually come back, in which case we would both restart a new life in Montreal whenever we'd be both ready for it again. Somehow, I'm not sure it is a very sane plan.

I have taken the decision to come back on the 21st of May, but I'm not sure if it's the best decision. People around me in France seem to make me feel guilty about the fact I want to leave my mother. I admit I feel cold hearted to do it. There are two kinds of thoughts I get from my relatives and friends: either that the decision belongs to me, or that I should absolutely stay in France with my mother. I have heard nobody telling me I should absolutely go back to Montreal. Should I take the conclusion that I should stay? I also have to keep in mind that I seem to be of great help, because my father also has cancer, is old and getting weak. My 2 brothers have a job and, while they can come every now and then, cannot assist my parents 24/7.

I admit that, whenever I hear my mother manifesting any sort of pain or uncomfortableness, I feel worried and want to stay by her. I think if I went back to Montreal, I'd feel this amplified by the fact I cannot stay by her in the difficult times.
On the other side, if I decided to stay in France, I'd be leaving my virtual family, my wolf all alone with the appartment and the consequences of this could happen to be irreversible.

In both cases, I feel guilty, in both case, I will regret something. what I would regret the most is hard to define. I would like to say something like, I'm leaving for a couple of months, going to Montreal on the 21st, and then, go back after two months in France, but then, if my mother got to pass away in the mean time and I could not get a chance to be by her, I may never forgive myself about it. On the other side, if I stay by my mother and that she lasts a year or more, is it going to be sane for me?

I'm lost and while I don't expect anybody to take a decision for me, I'd appreciate some indepth thinking and advice, I really need anybody to help me with a clear objective view on this.

Thanks.

Ok, I am litteraly going insane nowadays with the recent events, my mood going up and down from being hyper to being depressed, trying to compensate my loss by being on a quest for the perfect vore friend.

So, I might as well make it obvious what I'm looking for, vore rp wise:

Here is a summary of what I'm looking for (+++ = nearly required + = can do without it).

Players who like:

males (player or characters can be any gender, but must like males) +++
fatal vore +++
submissive, fascinated, curious preys ++
multiple preys rps ++
large creatures ++
bears ++
humans (preys AND preds) ++
age play ++
vore more than yiff ++
my artwork x3 (mainly to be sure we share a similar view) +
being pred, prey equal opportunity +
wanting to know your rp partner more than just for rp +

Real life wise, I'm looking for pudgy looking guys, be it small and young (not underaged) or big and tall. I'm looking for long term relationships, mostly friendships as I'm not much into rl sex, but I'd love to snuggle with people, I need hugs and I can give them too :)

If it's a bingo and you like all of those mentionned above, you HAVE to add me to your buddy list on msn yahoo or aim!!
Even if there are some +++ not matching, I'd stil be glad to give it a try, I am always happy to have new friends.

AIM: "BBB BigBellyBear"
Email and MSN: "greenyoshi@voila.fr"
Y!: "BigBellyBear"

Finally, here is my profile in Yumchat:

http://www.villichat.net/cgi-bin/yu......cgi?BBBs_Alts

Thanks for reading :)

I still haven't recovered from Titus death, I have temporarily left Canada to get close to my mother in France, who has a few months left to live...

I was still having some positiveness, was still looking forward to attend Anthrocon. New friends showed up.

But now, I'm getting involved in some drama that cuts my mood from anything really. It's probably something small, but it's the very thing I did not need right now.
I was looking forward to spend some time at AC with two of my favorite rpers, even got them to join me in my hotel room. I introduce them together, they fall in love with each other right away and I'm feeling like I'm being pushed away now.

Probably stupid, I don't want to make anybody feel bad, but I think it's understandable if I don't overly feel like letting them share my room anymore. Heck I don't feel that urge to go to AC anymore.

Now, as a result, those two friends feel down and may not feel like going to AC either. Because of my self-centered vision of things, I spread my drama around, I am drowning, I am struggling to find positiveness as I always do, but it's like everytimes I stand back up from something that puts me down, something else comes up and pins me on the ground stronger...

My only positiveness in this is my wolf, Delmir, who I know I have always had and will always have. But as good a friend he is, we don't share anything intimate together and that's why I was putting lots of hope in this AC, in those new friends. I had never been looking for any stuff like that before, until Titus got me all curious about it, before he passed away...

I'm feeling guilty, because I'm focusing on this drama rather than focusing on the very person I should be focusing on right now: My dear mother. But I guess you cannot control your feelings.

I want things to be made simpler. Please, people, if anybody as a simple solution for me to all of this, share it with me, I need to know.

Thanks to those who would have had the courage to read through all of this.

Ok, I am litteraly going insane nowadays with the recent events, my mood going up and down from being hyper to being depressed, trying to compensate my loss by being on a quest for the perfect vore friend.

So, I might as well make it obvious what I'm looking for, vore rp wise:

Here is a summary of what I'm looking for (+++ = nearly required + = can do without it).

Players who like:

males (player or characters can be any gender, but must like males) +++
fatal vore +++
submissive, fascinated, curious preys ++
multiple preys rps ++
large creatures ++
bears ++
humans (preys AND preds) ++
age play ++
vore more than yiff ++
my artwork x3 (mainly to be sure we share a similar view) +
being pred, prey equal opportunity +
wanting to know your rp partner more than just for rp +

Real life wise, I'm looking for pudgy looking guys, be it small and young (not underaged) or big and tall. I'm looking for long term relationships, mostly friendships as I'm not much into rl sex, but I'd love to snuggle with people, I need hugs and I can give them too :)

If it's a bingo and you like all of those mentionned above, you HAVE to add me to your buddy list on msn yahoo or aim!!
Even if there are some +++ not matching, I'd stil be glad to give it a try, I am always happy to have new friends.

AIM: "BBB BigBellyBear"
Email and MSN: "greenyoshi@voila.fr"
Y!: "BigBellyBear"

Finally, here is my profile in Yumchat:

http://www.villichat.net/cgi-bin/yu......cgi?BBBs_Alts

Thanks for reading :)