Well, my transport is preparing to launch. Our destination, Texas. It should be a short trip through the mass relay network to arrive in time for my first ever Texas Furry Fiesta. Rather anxious and excited at the same time. So here's hoping this adventure will yield some great stories to share. If you'll be at the con, feel free to say hi!

Well, as this will be my first trip to TFF, I decided that filling out a meme would be a good way to get things started. So I yoinked and remixed one made by

Where are you staying?
At the main con hotel.

When will you be arriving and leaving?
I fly in on Thursday afternoon and depart Monday morning, accessing the local system's mass relays.

Who will you be rooming with?
I will be sharing a roomspace with the squeaky cheese fiend

Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
Well it will be my first time at TFF, so I want to see everything!

What/where will you be eating?
I am open to suggestions!

Will you be having a room party?
No, the room knows what it did, so it will be barred from parties.

Will you be drinking and/or getting drunk?
Does getting drunk with power count?

What is your gender?
I am a guy.

How tall are you?
Just over 6'.

Are you a hero or a villain?
Definitely trying to be a hero :)

What is your superpower?
I can photograph a hundred furries in a single flash!

If I approach you, will you chat with me?
Well certainly, I'm always happy to meet new folks :)

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Well, barring use of the Bat Signal, I find a simple, polite introduction is the best course of action.

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Sorry, kinetic barriers prevent physical contact.

How can I find you?
Oh, don't worry, I'll find you...

Can I buy you drinks?
Tea, Earl Grey, Hot.

Can I look in your sketchbook?
Sure, if I bring mine.

Can I take your picture?
Only if you promise to give it back!

Do you do do free art, trades, commissions, badges?
I will draw you the most epic hand turkeys imaginable!

Do you have a table in the Artist Alley / Dealer's Den or a panel in the Art Show? If so, what are you selling?
Nope, not this time!

Do you plan to volunteer?
To volunteer to make sure that is steamrolled flat? I'll happily do so!

What's your goal for the con this year?
To find out everything I can about the heroes and villains and why TFF always gets great reviews!

A wild has appeared and is staying with me for a few days! Here's to a heavy amount of good times with this fine raccoon! I'd best stock up on goodies.

Well, been too busy for a full journal lately, but suffice to say I'll be at MFF from Thursday through Monday! Hope to see a lot of people there!

Or at least I hope as is currently winging his way here for his third visit! What mischief, shenanigans, and property damage await our ample, feline friend this weekend? Stay tuned, true believers!

My closest friend has been going through some incredibly difficult times of late, financially and emotionally, and he could very much use some words of support and encouragement. If you would, please visit his page or his journal to offer such words. Specs has been a confidant and close friend for nearly 15 years and I know that he could use the support now more than ever. Thank you.

As the summer sun beat down upon the state of Florida, I found myself staring down the long highway, waves of heat rising from the blacktop. Late July had brought the promise of a gathering of furs so close to my home. A new hotel, the promise of seeing old friends, having time away from the world's cares, and the promise of the unknown. How could I refuse? And yet, I knew what traveling there would mean. He would be there. I had done my best to avoid contact with this one, knowing the damage he had done, and what I feared most, what damage he could do. And yet, I was expected, and I could not disappoint.

However, if it is one thing Megaplex had shown me in the years I have attended, it is that despite its size and proximity, it always held something in store for me I could never predict. Never prepare for. No matter how hard I tried. Steeling myself as best I could, I revved my engine and accelerated to 88mph, crossing the time barrier into the past, the 1950s. Stepping into the hotel, I knew he would be there, and yet something told me to continue onward. For something my future would need was waiting for me in the past.

Companions
As I have previously discussed, the true, and in fact only real reason to attend a convention is to see and hang out with those closest to you. The ones who, in spite of your flaws and faults, want to be in your life. And though many of the folks I saw at Megaplex over the weekend were locals, it did not diminish the good feelings seeing them produced.
and once again took on the unenviable task of rooming with me. And how grateful I was to have them near, even if it was for no other reason than ensuring that I wasn't alone.
have honored me with their friendship for over four years and this year I had a great time photographing and sharing in the experiences the con provided.
and always seemed to appear whenever my spirits seemed to fall. Oddly enough, these two
and helped to lead a veritable rainbow of foxes through the fursuit parade, making sure that orange was properly represented. Each of these three, separately and together, helped to give me support and much needed smiles throughout the weekend.
celebrated her birthday while at the con, and yea she did break bread and distribute it to her bitches!
has been a friend for many a year and each time I run into this king among beasts, his smile and warmth truly make you feel as if you're the only person at the con. And he even introduced me to the kind fox .
... I find myself at a loss for words here. Twice during the weekend the cobalt cat found me. Twice during the weekend he pulled me aside. And, in spite of many, many things, he saw something that I could not. This kind cat went above and beyond and truly made the whole weekend one of the best I've had in a very long time. While I could go on for some time about his efforts, his kindness, I think I can only say thank you and hope to prove deserving of his faith.
The con staff, among them and worked tirelessly to ensure that the con was safe and enjoyable for everyone. Giving of their time to make sure others could have fun is a demanding task, and these individuals (and the many others who gave up their weekend) deserve our thanks.
and made their return to Megaplex and, as always, gave me more great photo opportunities than I could hope for, as these two canid suiters remain among the best I have seen. And the hugs they give are second to none!
and were two suiters I ran into more than a few times and each time the enjoyment they were having was positively infectious. Whether Argus was keeping his muzzle stuffed with things or Izzy was weathering another round of butt-touching, I could not keep from smiling when they were around.
returned to peddle her fantastic scents, helping to combat con funk... I wholeheartedly support her in this mission.

The Wisdom of Water
Megaplex has always provided me with many great opportunities to take photographs. In fact, I often feel inspired when I am at this event. However, the photographs were but one reason to attend. One of the nicest aspects of the new hotel selected for Megaplex came in the form of a phenomenal new pool. With water flowing both in and out of the hotel itself, it quickly became the central hub for social activity, particularly after the blazing sun had set. I took several instances to steal away to the water during my weekend, in the company of friends, and often diving into the depths alone. Having been born and lived my whole life by the water, swimming often brings on a stillness, calm, and reflection. Amidst the sound of laughter, beachballs smacking against the water, pooltoys being inflated, and drinks being poured at the poolside bar, the water provided a quiet respite. Looking up through the water's surface to the sky above, the thrashing of swimmers, everything reached a point of calm. Swimming my way into the hotel proper I found time to relax in the hot tub prior to the dessert social, as a summer storm started raining down upon the hotel. By far one of the most relaxing moments of the entire year.

Back to the Present
Amidst the panels, the charity events, being volunteered for Iron Artist (don't think I've forgotten, Aura!), the dances, the parties, and the general madness of the con, it was the smaller moments I'll take with me. Swimming for hours with friends, walking through the halls to hear the sound of people experiencing their first furry con, the joyful smiles, and the quiet embraces to help remind someone that they weren't alone. It was during one of these walks, one of my final of the weekend, when I finally came across the one I had thought perhaps I would avoid. And yet, upon turning a corner in the lobby, there he was, staring right back at me. Various words came to my mind, things to say, things to shout. And yet, there was little point. To my surprise, from behind came a hand to grip my shoulder, followed by another, and another. Looking behind me, I saw the familiar and friendly faces from the weekend. And the thought echoed in my mind that if I was to fall back, I know they'd be there. And as I looked back to where he had been standing, I could not see him. In fact, the only thing now staring back at me from the other side of the mirror was me.

Saying my farewells and heading back to my vehicle, the flux capacitor fully charged once more (1.21 gigawatts!), the flood of memories washed over me as if I was back in the pool. Megaplex may not be the largest con there is, but its size has always made it feel more comfortable for those who attend. And for one weekend during the hot summer months, this small con felt far bigger than any would believe. Starting to build up to 88mph one last time, to reach 2013 once more, the hotel faded in my rear view mirror. My mind continued to race with the events of the weekend and the questions that they raised. Some resolved and some that I know I will puzzle and ponder over for some time to come. The scars of time are never quick or easy to heal. However, the past, as powerful and menacing as it can be, is something meant to be faced. With people behind me for reasons I cannot yet understand, my focus lies in the present. Tomorrow will arrive and I will be ready.

Since MP is effectively in my backyard and I know a bunch of folks going, I thought I would yoink this from .

Where are you staying?
At the Con Hotel pool.

Who are you rooming with?


When will you get there?
Friday morning

Will you be suiting?
Does photographing suits count?

What is your fursona?
A friendly redbrown wolf!

Who will you be hanging out with?
Anyone and everyone.

Are you nice?
I do try my best...

Can I hang out with you?
So long as you've bathed!

Can I touch you?
That would end badly.

Can I take pics with you?
Not really about having my photo taken.. I just take them.

Can I party with you?
Communist parties? Да ада!

Can I drink with you?
All the iced tea...

Can I visit you in your room?
Well, only if you know the secret code.

Can I buy you all the shiny things?
I do not say no to shinies

Do you do art?
I take photographs of crime scenes... I mean furry conventions.

Do you do trades?
What're ya buyin?

Do you have a table?
Why yes, in my dining room.

Who will you be suiting with?
Photographing all the suiters.

Is there a way to keep in touch with you at the con?
It's not a terribly huge space so I shouldn't be hard to find! Texting always works well, too.

Can I buy you food?
I'll have to check if that's the weekend I'll be eating or not.

Can I wear your suit at all or parts of your suit?
You stay away from my Armani!

Will you be at the dances?
Most likely yes!

Will you be at the game room?
I'm sure I'll wander in there at some point.

Will you be there for the Dead Dog?
I do not think so.

Are you going to go swimming?
I plan on living in the pool for the entire weekend.

Anything you really want to accomplish?
Yes, I want to have my annual dance with the ravishing

Once more I found myself boarding a transport that would take me northward, to attend Anthrocon. With my travel companion Mach () and I settled into our first class seats, drinks in hand, we began to talk of our hopes for the weekend ahead. Hope. A year ago, the word alone would have seemed naught but a joke. And yet, in the last year, the light of this Blue Lantern had begun to glow once more. Perhaps there would be cause for hope. Specifically, the hope that brave words would lead to brave actions. Whispering a silent prayer under my breath and taking a sip from my drink, I felt the familiar surge of energy as the transport passed through the mass relay, soon seeing the City of Steel approaching quickly. Gathering our belongings, we hopped a (most enthusiastic) cab and sped toward our destination. Grappling what hope I could to the remaining shards of ice in my chest, I stepped out of the cab and entered into the what was to come. Now, the test would begin.

Look to the Stars
Anyone who attends conventions will tell you that the real reason to make this journey is not for the panels, the food, or even the swag. Ultimately, it's the people who make it all worthwhile. And though you may be afforded hours in the Zoo with some, a quiet dinner with others, and maybe only a warm embrace in passing with the someone in particular, if not for these times such things as AC would be hollow. Though trying to recall the many faces, the smiles and laughs, and even the few tears that fell are hard to discern from the blur of memories from the weekend, let me try to express my thanks properly to those who made the event what it was.

was the exemplary roommate, as usual, sold ALL of his pieces in the art show, and dazzled folks, again, in the masquerade.
was always ready to provide a smile and appropriate husky-derpness.
and TigerPawCreations had their first visit to AC, and it was wonderful to see them experience the clusterfu... I mean, the dizzying excitement that is Anthrocon.
zorrofeta has this way of making you smile and feel better just by being around him. I don't know how to put it beyond that, he just makes things better!
unit_52 was well concealed in his new coat, so I didn't quite hear him approach or pounce atop me...
vlen remains the bestest puppeh there is and somehow always manages to make me smile, no matter what.
dingoroo took the businessman's approach to AC and had quite the line of eager commissioners waiting for his talented paws to draw paws for the sake of paws, because paws.
dancingduke and mozee made one heck of a music video (can't wait to see it) as well as somehow managing to make my weekend brighter, despite our short time together.
raccoondrew was there only for a short time, but just seeing him again made my whole weekend.
 larus was busy showing off his growing artistic skills, hanging out in, what he described, was an orgy of dragons.
 ZekeHusky and  merashallan told quite a few interesting stories of their exploits suiting deep into the city of Pittsburgh, of clubs and bars, and always provided great photo ops.
 dayken made his triumphant return to AC and made my weekend much better for it.
 wolfboy1 and  foxwolf9-tails continue to amaze me with how much work and commitment they put into making AC happen. If you see a person in a vest, make sure to show them some love!
 unknownwolf made a triumphant return to AC and never failed to give great hugs.
 arashiin I made sure to keep supplied in photographs, lest he crumble to dust and blow away... and it helps that he's a darn good model!
 fwoomp was great to see again, as he seemed to be amassing a group of orange furs for some, no doubt, nefarious purpose.
Some local heroes in the forms of  kryphosdrgn,  blueneko,  wolfang_blitz,  kuddlepup, and  daverab were always joys to encounter and share in the wtf-ness with.
I would also be remiss not to mention  sophiecabra with her cheery disposition,  raspberryroo (nah, I can still see your face), and Tig Ol Bitties ( slyphox) for being around and always managing to get a laugh out of me.
 windscar,  DesertGunBunny,  jacfox,  shindenwolf, and  DarkCheetah made sure that things stayed squeaky all weekend.
 tzup was here and there and everywhere, but still managed to make to have me feel like I ws the only person at the entire convention.
 fenrari for just being an awesome maple wuff.
 Koebi made sure to give me the biggest hugs I had all weekend.
 woods reminded us all of why cash and guns are a dangerous combination...

Off Ramps
For the fourth time, I decided to be brave and put my "art" in the AC Art Show, in the form of my photographs. I was quite surprised and admittedly disappointed to see that I was the only photographer putting work in the show (barring three photographs someone had of their pet cat). I really had hoped to see this change over the last few years. Photography is a wonderful art form and this community has some truly talented folk in it. I hope that all of you photographers out there, reading this, will join me in helping to push our art further and put it on display for the community. Much to my surprise, all five of my pieces found new homes over the weekend, and to my buyers, I can only offer my most humble notes of appreciation and gratitude.

In addition to the Art Show and usual con shenanigans, this year Cap and I decided we would not be confined to the hotel/convention center space for the entire weekend. After a few mishaps, we managed to make our way to the Pittsburgh Zoo and Aquarium. Though it rained, we were surrounded by animals and were able to take a few hours to enjoy not being at a con. I hope that this zoo might try to partner with AC at some point, as we seem to share mutual interests, and their wares would fare well in the Dealers Den, I think.

The Passing
Departing for the transport station Monday morning, a flood of sensory information overwhelmed me as I thought of the weekend. All of the sights, in the form of nearly a thousand images captured by my camera. The sounds of laughter, the voices in chorus, and even of the silent call for help that I saw answered. The tastes of the fantastic food, from the new Indian place I was introduced to, to the outstanding chow of Furnando's. The feel of warmth around you, from hugs and fluff, all the better to drive the chill from one's heart. And even the scents... the less we speak of them the better. Finally, the sixth sense recalled quite a few interactions, the silent interactions, reaching out across the void, reinforcing the connections we have with each other.

As our transport neared the mass relay, on the first leg of our journey home, Mach and I sipped our drinks and talked of what had been. Tales of friends reunited, of the drunken revelry that was held, of the incident those at AC shall only refer to as dat ass, and of what we now hoped to see next year.

And there it was once more, hope. Ultimately it was what everything came back to. For, in addition to the fun and celebrations of the weekend, AC held for me a test. Something to face, something to confront, and something to let me see if I was better than myself. While I had not looked forward to this challenge, it was something that I could not allow to go unanswered. Finally I had to stand my ground. Despite walking away with a few injuries, I know that I had faced the trial, allowed it to pass through me, and in the end, only I remained. I'm stronger than I had thought, and though the path before me remains long and dark, it is in hope that I continue forward faster than ever before.

I find myself amazed that this day has come around, once again, so soon. Today I awoke to realize I've completed one more revolution around our star and earned one more candle atop my cake. This last year saw a great many endings, most notably ending all of my coursework and starting my dissertation, marking the final phase of my formal education. And ultimately, I feel that the last year's main lesson was in the importance of bringing things to an end, so that I can move forward. As I gear up to face this next year, I want this to be a year of continuing to explore what I've started over the last few years: becoming (slightly) more open. But, in the end, trying to predict what will happen is mostly an exercise in futility (unless you're Madam Zostra). So, I'll just close in saying, there will be cake. Now who wants a slice?

Where are you staying?
The Westin

What day are you getting there?
Thursday, amid a sky full of fireworks (top THAT entrance!)

Who will you be with?
I shall be rooming with my longtime compatriot and fellow ne'er-do-well

What is your gender?
Parts X and Y.

Are you taken?
Do you mean is Liam Neeson going to come kill a bunch of people to rescue me? Well, that would make the con more interesting.

How old are you?
Just about to turn the odometer over next week actually. 31 for now.

Can I talk to you?
You can if you believe you can! Seriously though, please feel free.

Are you cliquey?
By the mighty Oprah no/

Can I touch you?
Sorry, that might cause a reality-ending paradox.

Can I hang out with you?
Only if you can duck through the shadows with me as I photo-stalk folks!

How can I find you?
Oh, don't worry. I'll find you...

Can I buy you drinks?
This year...? We shall see.

You like shinies?
Yes, they make ideal distractors to cover one's escape.

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Sorry, my biotics tend to act up. Wouldn't want to launch someone...

How tall are you?
~6'1"

Are you nice?
WHAT THE HELL KINDA QUESTION IS THIS?! >:I
... er, I mean, yes!

Can I stalk you?
See previous statement regarding biotics and launching.

How long are you going?
My transport is scheduled to depart Monday.

Do you have an artist table?
No, but I do have several pieces in the art show!

Do you like parties?
Communists throw the wildest ones!

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
A friendly "hello" is most polite. Jumping at me will typically result in damage. I won't say to whom.

Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
I will be wandering and shadow-jumping through the DLCC mostly. There or in the Zoo.

What/where will you be eating?
What is this 'eating' of which you speak?

What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
To find some clarity, to lament my dance partner's ()absence, and to... well now, that would be telling.

Sometimes, amidst the hurricanes each day bring, you just have to end a day in style. And what could be better than ice cream sundaes at a private Denny's at 11 at night with out of place dance music? Restoration can be found in any place, so long as one can find the right company, the right energy, the right place, and the right time to let yourself go. And sometimes, that place is a private Denny's with your best friend. My friends, to living the good life in style.

This morning I drew to a close an eight-month journey. Having successfully defended both sets of comprehensive exams, those from the fall and those I took last month, I completed the second act of my doctoral program. The first being coursework, which I have completed, the second being comps, and the third and final act being the dissertation itself. The final act will take me about a year to complete, but it is something that I can focus on exclusively, rather than having to balance multiple classes. It's been a rather long trail I've been running along here, and at last I can finally begin to see the end.

So now I'm shifting to the third and final act of this play. Since I completed an act, I'm assuming that I received an upgrade to my armor and I now have a new attack, but I can still only use it once per episode (if anime has taught me anything). Now to prove that I'm up to this last task. One more path to run and I'm eager to get started!

I just received official confirmation that I passed the second round of comprehensive exams for my doctoral program. Oral defenses are Monday for both the first and second rounds, and then onto the final act: the dissertation. It has been a long journey and I am now on the cusp of completion. It will still be another year until I am fully complete, however I know I can do it!

Lordy! My house has been paid a visit this weekend by and . Don't know if my house can survive! Stay tuned for the wacky misadventures!

After passing out after midnight last night, I was awoken by a series of texts from my university, followed by a call from my advisor this morning at 6am. There had been an incident on campus resulting in the main campus being closed this morning. This means that comps have been rescheduled for Wednesday. I will use these next two days to keep reviewing. Thanks everyone for the good luck wishes, they will come in handy!

Tomorrow I go in to take the second round of my comprehensive examinations for my doctoral program. This test will take five hours to complete and only involve answering two questions. Here's hoping I'm up for this. Keep some good thoughts for me, guys, I'll try my best!

Flashback to last December. I was seated in the living room of a good friend, surrounded by good friends, there to mark the passing of one more year. Drinks in our glasses, food on our plates, those we cared for surrounding us, and on each person's face a smile screwed on in place. And what's more, it was a scene that I saw repeated through most of the holiday and end of the year festivities I attended. For some reason, 2011 seemed to be a difficult year for so many. And I will confess, it was a year that nearly ended with me... making a mistake. Yet through it all, with that smile screwed on extra tightly, I saw the year draw to a close... summarily in a ditch, covered in petrol, and on fire. As midnight tolled, I continued my sleepwalk into the new year. Whatever could this year hold, what fires would spring up before me, no matter what, all I knew was that I was tired of not being alive anymore. And all I wanted to do was finally wake up.

When you can't run anymore
I think the turnaround of this year began in March at Furry Weekend Atlanta. My friends and I had driven all night to get to the hotel, had to wait hours for our room to become available, and on top of all that, I did the entire first day on nothing but a bagel. By all rights, I should have been too stressed to even consider having a good time... and yet somehow, it was one of the best con-going experiences I have ever had. I remember that Sunday morning, at the crack of dawn, floating in the pool on my back, just staring up at the open sky above me. No one was around. And for the first time in longer than I can remember, I felt some cares slipping away. As the sun rose high in the Atlanta sky, and smiling face after smiling face greeted me, surrounding me with so many who know not the good they have done in my life, I could feel. I could actually begin to feel again. Driving home from that weekend, I could feel a pulse once again. Maybe. Maybe this year would bring the healing I had wanted, had needed, for some time.

The real test, however, laid before me, in Pittsburgh. AC had long been a place I loved traveling to each year. And yet, in recent years, it had grown sour for me. Culminating in 2011 where I nearly swore off ever returning. And yet, at the request, prodding, and insistence of some friends, I gritted my teeth and returned. If nothing else, to say my good-byes. And yet, when I walked through the halls of the DLCC, what I found was not the ghosts I had known, not the memories I had dreaded. Instead I found a new appreciation for the event, for the people, and for what it meant to me. Whenever I would feel the coldness creeping in again, whispering softly in my ear, I found the smiling faces of friends surrounding me. And while the weekend had its fair share of high and low points, it felt almost like AC did when I first journeyed there years ago. And maybe I was finally awake enough to feel that once again.

Keep flying
Professionally the year saw a wonderful revitalization of determination, skills, and drive. I spearheaded a major project that has wound up impacting 20,000 people and I am very proud of what my team accomplished. And I'm even MORE proud that I was finally able to escape said project and move on with only doing my own work for a change! And still, I keep my eyes on the horizon, seeking to make my next big career move, hopefully in the coming year! This will coincide with what is, by Grapthar's Hammer, my last year as a student. With luck, by the time I write the end of 2013 journal, I will have finished my program and have earned my doctorate. Beyond that, I begin my walkabout. Time for this wolf to see more of the world. Most of all, I just look forward to not having things such as papers and tests clawing at the back of my mind when I'm trying to enjoy my time and friends. I do not regret graduate school, and I wholeheartedly encourage people to pursue advanced degrees... I'm just ready to move onto new challenges. Either way, I know that in 2012 I pushed myself hard in my professional and educational lives and I REFUSE to allow anything to stop me until I accomplish my goals. The road keeps on telling me to go on.

Take me out, to the black. Tell 'em I ain't comin' back
While this year saw its fair share of beginnings: new relationships for my friends, new hope with some medical issues within my family, and even seeing people I care about joining me in a return to life; the year saw quite a few endings, as well. For some I knew, it was ending a job. For others, ending their time with someone... and sometimes permanently so. And yet, endings do not necessarily need to be negative. This year, I think I finally was able to see how some people had been allowed to take up an unwanted residence in my mind. And, in the end, I think I was finally able to show them the door. Life becomes increasingly short, and as such you see that some people deserve your time, your attention, and... well... you. And sometimes you get a false positive, and in the end you're angry. It's easy to be angry at the person holding the knife. But it's the anger at yourself, for thinking that they could be more than they turned out to be, that causes the venom to linger in your system. And for a time, the venom helps. Until you stop noticing that it's there, souring your time with those you care about. It's in forgiving yourself that you can begin to heal. And by taking this step, those people who have wrongfully occupied your time can finally be shown the door.

You can't take the sky from me
Many times, including recently, I found myself casting my mind back to the swimming pool at FWA. And each time I 'went there', I could think of the smiles I saw this year. Seeing hope restored for many people I hold close. Perhaps this last year was about healing for many people. Some concluded a long battle with an old illness and some finally taking the steps necessary to bring themselves back to life. A year to rebuild, to take the time and address our wounds, and a year to realize that we're still here, able to move on.

Looking back on what I learned this year, I can say that I'm ending the year better than how I began it. It was not easy and there were times I needed help to keep running. Somehow the expression "always is" kept echoing in my mind. Yet, no matter the hurdles, I cannot stop moving forward. For, as 2012 showed me, the process of healing and of coming back to life is a long road. And, ultimately, healing isn't always about bandages and medicines... sometimes it's about letting go.

I hope that everyone has a great and safe holiday. Be sure to call up friends and family to tell them how much they matter to you. And be sure to enjoy a "filling" meal ;)

(A bit behind the others in this area, but after a week, I need to get this out of my head)

It was back in 2006 that I attended my first furry convention ever, Midwest Fur Fest. In the years that have followed, I have had the good fortune to attend other conventions. And yet, it is always MFF that I look forward to the most each year. Something about this con makes it one to always eagerly anticipate. Maybe it’s the weather, or perhaps it’s the culture and food of Chicago, and maybe it’s the way in which MFF still feels like a personal convention, despite its growing size. After the last several months, I will confess that MFF seemed both a destination and also a chore. So much to get ready for, to pack, to prep, and yet… in the end, it’s always worth tuning in for. With remote in paw, I decided to see what this season would bring to the MFF show, as It Came from TV! came to a screen near me!

Taped Before a Live Studio Audience
After a quick trip through the relay, our transport deposited my party ( and ) and I in the City of Winds and we made our way to the hotel. It never fails to amaze me how the simple sight of a single fursuiter standing outside of the hotel can immediately trigger a sense of “Ah, I have arrived”. Despite some difficulties in checking in, initially, I soon found myself surrounded and awash in good people. was waiting to greet us at the lobby, complete with his wry smile. The Cookie Wuff continued his mission to distribute baked goods to all the good and… well, not-so-good furries out there, and as such to this con I brought my Ultimate Ginger Cookies and was quite happy with how well these strongly-flavored cookies were received! I could spend pages and pages here talking about the many people whose smiles lit up my weekend. There were ones who laughed at my terrible jokes, ones who didn’t mind one more photo, and a few in particular who caught me when I started to fall (even if some of them weren’t even in the same hemisphere).

From the surprise guest stars like and (long-missed friends), to the absolutely most adorable stuffed animal EVAR , to getting to play POP-arazzi to the adorable squeakmouse , to getting to have more than a passing conversation with the sage and the ever-energetic pup (two more joyous souls I have yet to meet), the weekend had no end of fantastic furs to be around. and were their usual, fantastic selves (including Tzup who, quite literally, floored me this year). One of the sweetest and most gentle folks in the entire fandom set up shop and put his artistic and suiting talents on display was (BONK!). The program turned into a toony cop drama with Officer Drew showed up on the scene (and made my whole weekend!), and the / duo made for the most interesting performances at the con. From the time I arrived, I received my first hug from the cutest widdle husky puppy there is, . And nothing beats a late-night run to Culver’s with , , and (nothing like milkshakes when it’s in the 30s outside!). And, I would be remiss if I did not mention how Carmen Sandiego () stole the whole convention, and our hearts! And I finally got to meet the one and only !

This year also saw the return of the ever-ample to bounce his way around the con (as a first time fursuiter!)… oh, and that orange welcome mat was there, too (love you, betch!). The party thrown by and kept things squeaky at the con and was a great time to meet and chill out with some truly great people like , , , , , windscar, shindenwolf, toastedwheat, and other inflatable individuals! That’s not to say that inari and frisky-lime didn’t help produce squeaks on their own! kellogg was there in full force, though we can never agree on who is stalking who these days (I think it’s his turn). The lady kibayoukai made sure that my final night was filled with charm and one last dance outside of the Red Bar (a fine tradition!). The quiet, yet adorable terminotaur seemed to be everywhere I turned (though unassuming, he remains quite a dear fur). Woods was a fine friend to see attending this year, along with sirkain (who seemed to always have a smile on his face). Otter otter kivu made sure I my requisite “shirtless” photos taken care of (otters, right?), while robypanther took to smoking stogies as a cautionary tale for other fursuiters! And, on Monday morning, I even got to ride back to the airport with sophiecabra and raspberryroo (as Ras is always fantastic and SOMEONE has to keep Spain’s dark powers in check… damn Democrats in the White House!).

All in all MFF reminded me of how far I have yet to run if I’m to prove deserving of the amazing people in my life. For me, attending conventions is first and foremost about the people I find there. Old friends, new acquaintances, and smiling faces I’ve yet to meet can all be found there. To call it overwhelming would be putting it too mildly. I remain most humble and in awe of the good hearts I find. We spend so much time and energy engaged in looking at what needs fixing and what’s wrong in our lives. Moments like these at cons help provide a contrasting view, thanks to the efforts of some amazing folks. Maybe one day I’ll even deserve having them around me.

Promotional Fees Paid by the Following
For the third year, I was fortunate enough to be able to display some of my works in the Art Show. What’s more, my bro Specs made his debut this year in the show! While one can never predict how the audience and attendees will react to your works, I was most fortunate to have nearly all of my pieces find a home. This year I saw several other photographers displaying their works, and I wholeheartedly implore other photogs to put their works into these shows. Photography is a wonderful art form and it deserves to be celebrated alongside traditional media, so please if you are considering submitting your photos to an art show, do it!

There Goes our PG Rating
Though the weekend was filled with so many wonderful and amazing experiences, I think the most salient moment I will take with me occurred during the closing ceremonies. The charity, Felines & Canines, Inc (http://www.felinesinc.org/) was invited on the stage to talk about their work and their experiences at MFF. The pair, a rather engaging couple, started off with what you would expect from a charity: how much fun they had, how nice everyone had been (things that make me proud to be a part of this fandom). And then, the taller woman took the mic. The self-declared “butch” commented on how touched she was by the generosity, dropped several f-bombs, and how they had earned nearly $10k throughout the weekend. And then came the moment. The con presented the pair with a check for $30k. To quote the tear-stricken woman, “Are you f@#$ing kidding me?”. And with that, I think we found our guest of honor for next year. Brought to its feet, the audience applauded, whistled, hooted, hollered, and howled in support of these do-gooders. For a weekend of hanging out with our out-of-the-ordinary company, they received numerous hugs, several animals found homes, and the worthwhile charity took home over $40,000. A better way to spend a weekend, I would be hard-pressed to think of.

Season Finale
As the transport approached the relay, a course set back to the home system and the inevitable encounter with reality, I thought back on the weekend that had been Midwest Fur Fest 2012. The bitter mixed with the sweet on a daily basis at the Hyatt that weekend. From the innumerable sights of smiling faces and long-awaited embraces, to the impromptu 3am flash mob caused by some moron setting off the fire extinguisher in the Executive Wing, to continuing a 5-year long tradition of brunch at the Rise N Dine, the memories and photographs in my memory card would keep me occupied while waiting for the next season to air. With the year drawing to a close, MFF always has the tricky task of trying to have it end well. From my first time in 2006 to this year’s event, the con has never let me down. If you have the chance to attend, you won’t regret tuning in.

Just back from Midwest Fur Fest here, rather exhausted and not feeling up to writing a full journal about it yet. HOWEVER, I did have a letter waiting for me, stating that I have passed my first round of comprehensive exams! That's one down, one to go! The final round will be in the spring, in March to be exact, and nothing's going to stop me!

Thank you all for your support. I'm one step closer to finishing my doctorate. One down, one to go!

Back next week! Take care!

Where are you staying?
At the main hotel

What day are you getting there?
Thursday

Primary Purpose:
To hang out with friends, meet new people, and photograph... everything

Gender:
Male

Preference:
Is this a Pepsi vs Coke question?

Fursuiting:
Verb

Do you have a craft in this community:
I will have several photographs in the art show for sale

Do you do free art?
I will draw a hand turkey, signed, the likes of which you've NEVER seen before

Do you do trades?
Like in the "Strangers on a Train" way? Criss-cross?

Do you do badges?
That just sounds painful...

Do you do commissions?
I will take money to draw hand turkeys

Can I talk business with you while at the con:
My rates for contracts are quite reasonable...

Can I visit your room?
*Shields up*

Can you perform repairs:
I can fix anything that goes wrong in your life from tractors to relationships!

Can I buy you dinner, gifts, drinks, art or anything to show gratitude:
I'm assuming this is after I perform the contract hit?

Can I look in your sketchbook?
If I bring it? Sure!

Can I draw in your sketchbook?
See above.

Can I take your picture?
I don't show up on film, thanks to telekinetic shields

Are you single or taken:
BWAHAHAAHAAA..*deep breath* AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Where can I find you if I need something:
Wherever evil threatens the innocent!... or by the fireplace

Are you attending any stage or public performances?
I'll be attending the Variety Show

Do you attend parties:
Well somebody's gotta be the wet blanket at these things :)

Do you attend the dances:
I ninja my way through them, snapping photos unseen

Who will you be rooming with at the con:
Will be rooming with

Are you cliquey:
Yes. I detest idiots. Idiots should stay 50 paces away at all time.

Are you approachable:
I'd like to hope so :)

Can I room with you:
Uh... no... just, no

Running or attending any panels:
Not the best track record with these...

Dealers Den:
Noun. Most likely wandering through there from time to time.

Will you be in the "Fursuit Parade":
Will be photographing it, does that count?

This last Saturday evening, under the light of a full moon hanging high in the sky over Central Florida, a gathering occurred.  Furloween 2012 promised dancing, dining, and degeneracy; and on all three counts the party did not disappoint.  From the excellent mix of DJ’s keeping the party wub-filled to the catering staff that truly outdid themselves on a knockout meal this year, the scene was set for quite a great evening.  Accompanied by my escaped prisoner friend Cody () and his military attack dog (), the three of us made our way to the event.  
Dressed as a famous character, priest with a shotgun (shotgun on loan from the collection), I found myself never wont for activity or friendly faces wherever I looked. This was my second Furloween and I must say I love how laid back and relaxed the atmosphere is at the event.  If you want to chill with your buddies and hit up the bar, then go for it!  Video games you’re your thing, then have at it!  Want to hit the dancefloor for all the oonts-oonts and wub-wubs you can eat, they’ve got that too!   There’s no one hassling you about schedules.  They provide the venue and the goodies and you make the evening what you want it to be.  
For me, I have to say how much I enjoyed seeing how many people came in costume.  Not just fursuiters, but people wearing costumes (sometimes fursuiters WEARING costumes).  From the undead to the esoteric, deconstructed BLT sandwich trio, to the most famous thief in the world, the one and only Carmen Sandiego (), talent and creativity was on display.   I will also say how pleased and impressed I was that Furloween even had a very special guest, a 12-year old girl who had gotten into the furry fandom over the last year and wanted to see what one of these events was like.  The organizers and the girl’s parents had spoken, talking about the event, and provided memberships for both the young lady and her mother to attend.  I was outside talking with as the pair were preparing to depart for the evening.  The smile on both the girl and her mother’s faces were nearly blinding, talking about how much fun the event was and how nice everyone had been.  The fact that Furloween is so friendly and open that even families can attend speaks highly of both the event and the inclusive, inviting furry culture in the Orlando area.  Waving them good-bye as they pulled away, the evening suddenly took on a deeper, more enjoyable meaning for having seen how happy the young lady had been.
Drawing rawing into the early morning hours, the gathered furs began to disperse.  Saying our final farewells before heading out under the flickering street lamps and under the watch of the moon, it was not hard to tell that everyone had had quite a fun evening.  And, on top of all that, Eliot’s Fall Carnival had been held that same night.  So, no matter where you were on Saturday evening, furries in Central Florida did not lack for excellent opportunities to hang out with their friends and enjoy a great evening together. 

Well, tomorrow I go to take my first round of comprehensive examinations to complete my doctorate. This will be the first of two rounds of written exams, ending in the spring semester. I am anxious but I have a good grasp of the material. Hopefully tomorrow morning will come and go and I will feel confident about what I've written. Wish me luck, guys!