Jeeze it has been a while since saying much of anything on here, work has been heavily stressful, not so much in the amount exactly... its more of the fact trying to do 20-30 people worth of work with an average 12 (put simple at most stores in area they have 25+ a night and having people actually look for things to do, where I work we have 7--9 grocery stockers and 4 mod team and high freight load), all grocery aisles but maybe 2 at times, cereals and coffee, have no less than 4 or 5 hours of stock work, so yes heavily overworked with so few people... doesn't help when the previous shift can't separate stock right so we have to do their job as well increasing our work load typically by 30-45 minutes, so in other words crunching 6 hrs or so of freight stocking in 7 hours or well less because 2 15 minute breaks and 15 minutes meeting, and 30 minutes zone apparel nearly every single day (8 hrs work - 1 hr to zone up the store , 7 work hrs then minus 1 hr for 2 breaks and 30 minute apparel 6 hrs freight stock with 6 hrs of actual work a day on light aisles.

So yes that crunch of time most all week I am on verge of quitting, but I cant on my own personal pride, that and my friends/co-workers will be split even shorter and I am not the type to take easy ways out unless highly worth my time....

So yes Squirrel be highly busy to be very active so going to be around, but very, very, very limited until things improve or the store fires me (Which in all honesty I won't give a flying shit, because they lose out on someone that is actually semi-committed and reliable)

Well with that out of the way Have a great day.


TL;DR I am very limited on time and just wanted to let yall know I am still around/going even though high stressed

So last couple months been a bit down, which is highly contradictory to my normal go with the flow relaxation happiness... Normally it goes away in a short time, but been a long while this time and its really taking a toll on my mood.

Doesn't help from stress from work or other factors... I nearly collapsed from burning myself out a couple days ago fully sore with minor dizzy spells from apparent high blood pressure I think... I don't know normally I am calm relaxed and may not be peak perfection of health, but very rarely get dizzy or pushed to a breaking stress point....

Any way going to be around much less and less on discord or anything really going to need some time to myself.... well more of not feeling chatty, but I will be around some.

Well I just checked my schedule for work until mid 20th of February (At latest 24th) I am going to be quite busy with traveling around a bit as well as kind of being mentored by various managers and personnel as I might be switching from stocking to one or the other, possibility of going through police training as well for security positions too, so ye...

I have a few things I will upload, once back... some I been holding off for creative purposes, submission name, potential short stories to the images, fairly sure will have everything settled around then.

So later yall, be back when I get back.

Wow time has been slipping much past lately, did not think would be this hectic in retail work, but at least making decent pay, just gah so much commotion than I am used too, also with it being Overnight tis been screwing with my sleep and chatting schedules, but soon will be past groceries hit. (Dang stocking up of bake goods snacks and drinks slightly destroying stock ability), once this holiday ends (Thanksgiving and Black Friday/Cyber Monday and whatnot) I will be less stressed in overload stocking as people move onto toys and gifts X3 so won't be over exhausted most days.

Any way I am at work on lunch break so woo early morning. Have a great day or Afternoon y'all.

Been busy with work last 2-3 months... lost many people due to 80% of them going back to school so now for overnights got 5 stockers at most every few days (9-12 a night if you add mod team and maintenance) and with all the constant deliveries we are quite shorthand by maybe 5 people so we are essentially working daily what normaly has 2-3 people to finish in time... so yeah 3 times the work and not many available for overnights...So a bit pushed on stress with it, but eh tis happens.

As for my story recruitment thing, its going a bit slow due to the extra work, but it is going... at least.

Any way thats all, I might be able to put something up soon, if not a submission likely a journal in a couple days. Thanks for reading have a great morning/ day/ evening/ night.....

Well not a typical vacation before my birthday this year.... Normally I take a week to destress, and reconnect with my natural balance... But this years been fairly high stress, I can NOT do my normal stress relief methods... Especially not with a 5 day job that would only accept me taking time off if I was hospitalized or worked long enough to get the days off which no way can accumulate before my birthday.

So this time just electronic limitation to essential use, (business calls, looking up info on something I do not know, scanning barcodes to see what can be stocked, etc) outside of that no Discord, twitter, phone games for 3 weeks. I will be writing the stories, but they are still not going to be a daily post as planned.

Thank you for reading send note or comment and I will respond when I get a chance or maybe after 3 weeks when I return on my Birthday July 12th.

Well my plans to do 24 day countdown has went wrong... due to owing a few debts that should have been taken care of, but hasnt, and I am going to be busy fighting that I don't owe anything as well as pay things I do know I owe and work extra days so I can keep setting aside some money to spend so have literally no time to do the 24 stories....

I will still write them, but it will not be posted on the days leading up to my 24th birthday as planned. Kind of bums me out, but I can't write/draw under financial stresses.

Any way took my whole break to write this so back to work, maybe I don't know... Any way thanks for reading later yall.

So I posted a journal nearly 15 days ago and barely any response ... In all fairness people do not read journals much, but I could/should have been making reminders and posting a few quickie stories I could have written with a reminder my Birthday countdown story has open spaces... I really prefer to have 24 individuals participate then a few with multiple characters ( I want offers and freebies I do to not be for myself/single individuals like for example I have 7 spots filled, but a couple offered multiple characters to help fill in the other spots. Now I normally am fine with it, but it slightly hits a toll on few things... not going to get into it now.

Any way, since I haven't really put up too much reminders or notifications I have extended the deadline from May 25th to at latest June 1st I can not stall much of any more time and need to get everything down then do draws and write at least a quick draft of characters by June 15th.

So if you think someone might be interested, or has any questions do ask... I want to write about a variety that of things. So yeah... Thank you for reading and have a great morning/afternoon/day/evening/night....

So in 5 days only have 2 apply, dang that just makes me feel so out of place, but not going to let it get me down...

Application info in the near bottom ofthis journal

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9135442/


I have to put a deadline to apply before I just use random made characters instead of offer a full short story to others... any way I need to have first story set up to post by June 23rd or 22nd... I will update this with exact when I figure timing... so yeah going to keep application open until May 24th so yeah.

Have fun yall I is now getting back to food and then work.

So its been a few months since I posted anything here, well my entertainer job was starting to cause me some stress due to long trips making me lose more than its worth... so had to get something closer, and is now into retail so yay less trip though saves on a lot of gas money, but any way the shift happened and been busy 40 hours a week most the weeks I work so not a whole lot of free time to do much.

Any way I am going to do something a bit different for my birthday countdown thing... No daily drawing this time going to be a 24 chapter type story lottery thing, essentially I need 24-35 characters, each chapter 1 or 2 may get *Eliminated* until only 1 is left. After my birthday on July 12th depending on schedule I will be drawing an image with all participants and the last one that survived of course is centered with whatever they want their reward to be, if I could draw it (Will not know until try so yeah) so if they wanted to be hugging another character of your choice, or holding a trophy/medal, bucket of cash/clams whatever you decide the prize is so if you want in comment

Character name:
species:
appearance:
personality:
Things allowed to do to:
Things not allowed:


*Disclaimer... All of the chapters will be any rating so if you might not like something I will have a cover image with contents and rating*

So yes eliminations will vary, a bit...

Any way gathering early so I can pre-plan the countdown so the chapters lead up to winner and day I age to 24.

Thank you for reading, hope everyone been doing well. Until next time Flakes out x3.


TLDR for the lazy, I switched jobs to retail, I am writing a story needing characters countdown to birthday... Have agreat day.

Leaving tomorrow morning of 24th to go to family and visit for an hour or 2 hand deliver gifts for the younger ones chat then hit the road to go to another relative in another city... its a surprise gift I feel like doing... gives me time to get out of the house and not be for getting groceries or work.

So going to essentially 8 different cities cross states to a couple out of Texas. So yay well going to finish packing and making sure gifts organized and everything so will be gone until 26th or 27th have a happy holidays and enjoy time with your families or loved ones. Later Yall

Well I was going to make fair length explaination, but damn connection pissed me off and kept losing when trying to post journal so will make the explaining journal later... will be back in 2 weeks later yall

Going to re-evaluate things so yeah If you message or comment here or DM on discord or telegram will read just wont respond until Tuesday.

So last few months been a bit inactive here, even been inactive/distracted on discord.... Any way been having so much health issues I am concerned, but everytime before I get someone to verify that the illness is not in my head it goes away.

So I been sitting and observing taking notes so I will know if/when I will need medical attention if the need arises, so far it hasn't but the relief is being drowned out by my being insecure and that triggers reactions in my mind maybe it is all in my head... I don't know.

Anyway I have been feeling like shit for 3 months and subconsciously pushing people out, not like trying to, but definitely had a drifting effect and that solidified my insecurities more... I am a partial wreck at the moment so until I feel like being social again, I am going on a break and have a full on get away from art or any social interacions... It might be counterproductive, but I would have enough sense to know that I am pushing people away, instead of letting a slow drift send me through the mud.

So going to leave this journal up for anyone who cres and will be deactivating the account in 5 days or maybe a week I don't know so good bye until I can pick myself back up.

So past couple days been trying out theories and turns out I am getting some kind of illness from electronics... So my leave that usually starts on 11th (1 day before my birthday) turned to 2 days early for longer time to not be around electronics.

So I will be returning at the earliet 18th or (if I still get negatively affected by electronics) the 20th possibly longer, but yeah I kind of plan on being back by then so until I return good bye all :3

Complete inactivity for about 2 weeks...

I. Don't know why but last 5 days I have been dwindling activity in doing things, chatting, rp various things like that.... I just been feeling like crap, but only when I get on my phone or laptop.... So kind of taking this as a sign I might not even be around before my birthday...

I was intending on chatting doing rp and various things of that such up to July 11th which is my usual Birthday vacation from electronics starts, but yeah I feel down, demotivated, stressed whenever I am on phone or laptop and its really taking a toll.... So I might in a couple days make a journal with some update... I don't know I am going to head off now even though its been on the first time this month at least on here.

Any way thanks for reading will be back on maybe 9th with update of choice.

Well thanks to illness...(Upper respiratory infection) combining with a scorpion stinging me 4 times June 23rd I have been lethargic up to July 2nd feeling much better now, but the lethargy really screwed up my daily drawing so had to cut it short...

Any way I will just put up a journal on the 11th as a reminder I will be gine until the 18 at earliest 20th at latest celebrating my birthday and reconnect ti reality a bit.

So yeah just figured to update.

Well posting daily has failed this year, but you know what.... It doesn't matter I said 23 days of drawing I did draw, but figured screw it posting today...

1. Been heavy stressed and anxious, yesterday learned my mother was going to sugery today after nearly sleeping all day yesterday (Wednesday) so was stressed from sleeping all day, added stress and anxiety wanting to b there for my mother messed up Wednesday, but did something.

2. Woke up at 2:30 AM to shower took about an hour trip to a meeting then 30 minutes to another then 14 miles to the hospital my mom was having surgery got there to learn the had it scheduled earlier so I wasn't able to see her, but then they said a complication came up so they sent her home

So wasted long drive for nearly nothing.... Any way needed to relax and was going to post today, but meh nature environment relaxation was much more important. So tomorrow (Friday) will have 2 posts.

Enjoy or don't this year threw so much crap at me I can easily be cold and uncaring to much things.

Jeez I took so much careful planning to do my daily countdown thing to my birthday.... Then fathersday came and was a good day relaxed with family, any way was going like cool I have a week to finish planning and setup, then I realized something didn't add up... And its the fact to get in 23 drawings before my birthday I have to start immediately tomorrow ... I kind of hit myself unnecessary stress, but yeah...

TL:DR --> Stressed and going to draw 23 days then leave for a break on my birthday... Well later....

Okay this year has been nothing, but literal crap, very few good things soo much crapiness.... It's much short list I can esily list the good and best things that happened to me....

1. Found $100 in a shoe
2. Had a friend gift me something random on a game

There all the confirmed and set in stone events that was good for me this year...

I have had crappy luck with RNG even on odds ws nearly impossible not to get some prize in a raffle... 3007 raffles entered 0 winning even in multiple winner ones that ranged from 5-15 so yeah so much "GOOD LUCK" I need a break from the iternet so taking at least 2 days, but may go up to a week to recompose myself and try to get things back on track before I push myself into a corner with nothing to lose and with someone that finds entertainment in chaos is not good, so before I stsrt putting plans together with nothing to lose I am going complete leave so no telegram, skype or Discord until I return.

Good bye y'all until at earliest Tuesday... If not possibly next saturday...

Well this year been the worst ever over 1000 random raffles and not a single win I had nothing but shitty luck so going to be taking a break before I have a very depressed mental breakdown good bye for a few days to possibly mid May I do not know yet.... if I mysteriously win any raffles I am still currently in... well... I might just pull out of them or be re-rolled or whatever, do not make any attempt to notify me if I win.... so yeah good fucking job 2018 for making me have a stress induced mental breakdown...

Okay so this whole first quarter year has been total shit, the best fucking thing that happened and only good highlight of the year... Finding a $100 bill in a shoe, outside of that been bogged down with soo much negativity its effecting me heavily... I feel like complete shit when having fun, when not having fun I feel like shit and bored... NO FUCKING WINNING SITUATION THERE.

So for at most 2 weeks going to disappear from here and everywhere else until I fucking have something good done for/to me, So until then good bye.

Also this year I might not do my birthday drawing thing especially not with the fucking Rejected/Negative feeling...

Jeez time sure does fly lately, been a long time since posting anything, or even a journal.... well time to change it up a bit...

Read or not I guess your call.

Any way been a very stressful start of the year, was getting a bit sick in December that was clearing up, I was actually very optimistic and hopeful for the 2018 year, but here lets put it this way.... All January, a total of 94 rejection/declined applications and bids for moving to a new home, a new job, or just to volunteer for things all rejected because of timing...(They already picked who they wanted or changed mind to sell) and I tried to put that into an okay mood, but so much negativity brought down my mood, I have figured you know what try going for raffles/free luck since money is getting tight and medical bills starting to go south big time, and the no job yeah having to save every little bit of money I get is crap...

Any way 73 raffles over Jan/Feb 73 didn't get anything so yeah even more rejection, but meh I built up an emotional wall around it, the main issue is I am not 100% my happy-go-lucky self and it kibd of emotionally killing my want to be nice/friendly or helpful to anyone I do not know. Yeah its messing with me socially.

I have been in a fairly decent mood recently going to get back to maybe daily sketching again as well as writing, so the competition story I have on hold might be started back up again pretty soon as well as possible artwork.

Any way I am going to end the journal now just saying "Yes I am still alive and around, but until I shake off the negativity and rejection of all the first couple months I still might not be overly active in chatting with some I do not know...

If you read through this thank you, if you ignored or skipped looking for a TLDR note, well too bad I am not going to make the points out (As for reasons in the journal itself) so, yeah read it all or not know anything your call.. until the first post in nearly 8 months I will likely be silent lurking on here.

I will be a bit active in. Discord, skype, telegram so if feeling to chat contact through these thank you and have a great day.

Well it has been a while, heh I really need to try keeping things any way something short and simple..... I tend to keep up an enthusiastic appearance even if I am not feeling it, last few months (Since after my Birthday) I have been ill, busy, verge of mental breakdown from stress.... I can handle it with my own methods I know work so no need to worry about that, the only issues are its a fool proof technique, but it also takes a bit of time and effort to do so its not leaving much time for me to do art or write.

I also might be taking on a second job to regain some financial stability which cuts my usual 3-5 hours to draw/write (when/if motivated) to pretty much not worth the time to not feel rushed, essentially if I try it will not be any good or decent quality so not really going to be able to do art or write for a bit.

Any way figured to leave an update have a great day Yall

Yep annual birthday vacation, it really helps re-root me back to natural enviroment and makes me very relaxed, no matter how much of a crappy year I have, this needed vacation pulls perspective and grounds things from getting too overwhelming.

So yeah March had minor crap go on, meh typical, the only suspicious thing this year was how it held back until I was about to work on art, but meh sometimes reality takes priority over much of things. June 19th my dad on Fathers Day broke his rib and was in middle of money supplementing carpentry work (Ranging from putting up dry-wall to tape&bedding, and elecrical re-wiring) any way what would have kept June and July stable for my parents so I had to help make bill payments and had to cut back my own plans to help them, don't get me wrong I am happy to help them, but then medical things hit and it gets much more stressful.

But you know what I am 22 (As of July 12) and going to move on to trying to make the rest of this year better so yeah let the past stresses fade and keep optimistic.

I do not have photos because the vacation on my birthday is full nature no electronics (Well highly limited as I do need to keep in touch with people on important matters, but as for recreation No-Tollerance electronics) So yeah, also on phone as its faster and more stable internet then computer. I really do not know what else to say so....yeah...

I will be getting to work on the 10 drawings soon, it will be at random list and I am working on 3 ideas and figuring a best course of action... So theres that, feeling like chatting to so theres that if you want if not okay...